How to Stop Running Away From Your Difficulties Right Now

The class presentation was in a week’s time.

It was the initiation of a week’s long ceremony of assignments, tests, and other presentations. In short, it was a tiny part of long and busy finals. Every day there was some or another deadline. I truly wanted to get done with work as soon as possible and relax for a short while before entering another, even more, busier week.

But the kids from my class wanted the presentation to be postponed.

They chose it to be shifted to the next week when the work was double in quantity. They decided to avoid the difficult presentation for as long as they could, even if it meant that they would have greater work on their plate later on. They went with fun at the expense of much greater pain later, instead of equally distributed dull pain over a period of two weeks.

They ran away from their problem even if getting away entirely was impossible.

I totally get that. Problems are scary.

They require you to get out of your comfort zone and work your ass off. If you fail at solving them, you are faced with coming face to face with the fact that you might not be as great as you thought yourself to be.

That realization really sucks.

In particular, if the problem is inevitable, running away provides a temporary escape. For a short time, you can not allow yourself to not feel the heart-pounding anxiety and shivering hands.

However, such avoidance does more harm than good in the long run. This brief sense of false comfort does nothing to help you deal with the actual problem.

I have done this several times in the past where I have procrastinated like no tomorrow and then cried when the work finally caught up to me. The mental stress has really taught me to not run away but embrace the problem when they come to me.

Getting an early start on coping with the difficulty is ten times better than the momentary comfort.

Look Within Yourself

As mentioned in this article, self-reflection can provide you with a chance to be able to take a deep breath in chaos as well as make better sense out of it.

Every time I find myself procrastinating on my pending work, I do a self-reflection assessment. I try to find the reason for delaying the work. Then I connect that to the problematic consequences of procrastinating.

This provides me with the needed information to get my butt off the bed and don on my work cap.

What to do

When you find yourself running away from your problem, reflect on your current state of mind. Take a journal and jot down all the feelings that are coming to your mind. Draw a chart map where you write down the possible reasons for a delay on your part. Draw a connection between the antecedent factors.

On the same page, write down the consequences that could happen as a result of you avoiding your work. Here, you can focus on both the short term and long term results.

Once everything is on paper, do a cost-benefit analysis. Assess whether the current benefits would be able to compensate for the long term negative results. All the data would be in front of your eyes and would help you make an informed choice.

You Do Not Need to Deal With This Alone

I am not always in a rational state of mind when I am avoiding difficult tasks. Some days, my defense mechanism called rationalization jumps in and makes all sorts of genuine sounding reasoning for my escapism.

Rationalization has been defined by Perry as

Rationalization is a disavowal defense mechanism which permits an individual to deal with emotional conflicts, or internal or external stressors, by devising reassuring or self-serving but incorrect explanations for his or her own or others’ thoughts, actions, or feelings, which cover up other motives.

In such moments of weakness, my friends really help look at the issue objectively. They bring all the cost and benefit analysis data to me and motivate me to deal with the issue at hand.

Also, there is added emotional support. According to APA, Emotional support is an essential protective factor for dealing with life’s difficulties.

Even if I don't feel like working, hearing the truth from their mouth really helps me open up my eyes.

What to do

Call up your friends. Tell them the entire story and seek their unbiased opinions.

One thing to keep in mind is to ensure that you choose your genuine friends who really care for you for this purpose.

Make an Efficient Plan

“A goal without a plan is just a wish.”― Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

When everything fails, plans are a great way to deal with difficulties.

I love devising plans. Whenever I get a hard task at hand, I immediately break it down into smaller bits. This benefits in two ways. First, it allows me to understand the task better. I am able to make sense out of the complexities. Second, it dials down the fear factor.

The big mountain becomes smaller hills.

What to do

There are several ways to go about it. The steps I follow are.

1. Take the task at hand and set a deadline where I would be able to finish the entire thing.
2. Break the larger task into the steps I would be taking to accomplish. Here, it is necessary to well define the steps. Set a deadline for each small task.
3. Identify the resources you would be needing. It is better to keep them ready.
4. Lastly, visualize your plan using charts and time tables. This would not only make the pathway clear but also act as a motivating force in your plan.

“If you don’t know where you are going, you’ll end up someplace else.”

― Yogi Berra

Final Thoughts

As expected, when the actual presentation came up, everyone was just swimming into a load of assignments and tests. It was double stressful to finish the entire thing along with other deadlines.

Also, I would like to point out that tackling problems immediately is not always a solid idea. It is completely fine to take a short pause, suck in a deep breath, and then continue the fight. You do not necessarily have to jump into the work immediately but do not run away either.

Strike a healthy balance between giving yourself a break and working on your problems.