How To Stop Allowing Circumstances To Dictate Your Life

It is no secret that no one's life is ever perfect. There are too many challenges to battle with. While these challenges are not bad in themselves (most growth happens when we face challenges), but some of us allow them to alter our life entirely, and it is usually for the worse.

I have a friend who left and relocated to another part of The UK because of a broken relationship. She was not even thinking of a good job that was then the envy of the people around her. She was a recluse where she moved to. She had no friend, no family, and some of us have to ensure we cheer her up regularly to support her mental health. She had forgotten that the job could provide an avenue of support (both financial & mental) during this breakup.

The reason most of us believe we have to alter or change direction is that we have not created the vision of life we want. We have no direction, and we are the only circumstances-based focus. Any mature and responsible person should have a direction. That is, a vision-based focus and committed to it even if the circumstances of our life change. We, women, are mostly guilty of this, allowing too much dependence on others and circumstances to change our focus and direction in life.

Circumstance-Based Life - is those of us who refuse to build or develop the lives we love to live. We live our lives, rather like a raft adrift on the ocean, being tossed here and there by various circumstances that come our way. The result is that we spend so much energy fighting circumstances, as often as they come instead of using that energy in creating the lives we love.

Vision-Based Life - is consciously creating the lives we want to live, and refining at each stage of our lives, to make it happen. It involves sticking through thick and thin to ensure its success.

Five Steps To Creating A Life You Love

1. Create It 

 Do you want to live a magical life? The first step is to dream about it. Then write it down, as well as the stages that will make you actualise your dream. If you want to become a nurse practitioner, for example, you know the first stage is to get enrolled in a nursing school and get qualified. So in that order, draw out a plan for your life. Find out the essentials you need to incorporate in the plan and do not miss anything out. Make out the years to get you there, set out in plain, simple and achievable goals.

It is not only in life career you can do this. Do you want a loving man/woman in your life? Write out what you want. Create it. Do you want good health? Do you want a life of abundance? You can achieve it. Indeed whatever you want to be, is achievable, if you believe it, and are ready to work towards it.

2. Take Steps To Achieve Your Dream

 This is to look for ways to work towards your dream. As mentioned above about a nurse practitioner, ensure each step you take is in direction of your goal. If you want a good man, for instance, you must ensure you take good care of yourself. You are not going to appear drabby on any occasion, the same for men. Always appear clean and tidy, because those are the type you will attract.

If you want good health, you ensure you eat healthily, you ensure adequate sleep and good hygiene. I was discussing this over the phone with a friend in Chicago, and she believes part of living well is having adequate health insurance. I told her, that this is irrelevant because if she is fine, there will be no need for doctors or whatever her health insurer will provide.

''When health is good, there will be no medicine'' Ayvureda Proverb

So keep your goal in mind, read through your list every day, visualise the success of your vision. You have to stick to your plan, make only the necessary adjustment. As you make this journey, your self-image will start to change in line with your vision.

''Your spirit will feel that growth, and spirit LOVES progress. You'll start to feel more productive, more alive and more energized, which will help you take even bigger steps!'' Mary Morrissey

3. Avoid Self-Doubt

 Do not allow self-limiting beliefs to crop in, as this is counterproductive. The truth is that if you believe in your plan, and working towards achieving it, then there is no reason why you cannot achieve it. The issue is that there will be challenges and obstacles, you should not allow that to distract you, or make you lose hope that achieving is beyond you.

"You may have to fight a battle more than once to win it." Margaret Thatcher

Ensure you are focus on your goal and believe that obstacles are there to be overcome, not to make you abandon your goal. There is extra responsibility that comes to you living a life you love, and that means going the extra mile to achieve it.

4. Celebrate Small Achievements

How about rewarding yourself with any achievements that move you closer to your goal. This is essential because it says, you are moving forward. Congratulate yourself, be grateful for that small achievement, say it out loud and clear, and before you know it, you will have many of such to celebrate.

5. Do Not Delay 

You know what you want, you have taken steps to map out the plan and goals, so what are you waiting for? Do not let anything put you off. This is your year to achieve, your year of unimaginable possibilities. Start now.

"You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream." - C.S. Lewis

The Takeaways

• You can achieve whatever you set your mind to do if you are willing to work towards it.

• There will be challenges and obstacles, but these are part of the game plan. They should not put you off.

• Have a positive mindset, and look forward to success. Be in expectation, and be grateful for small achievements towards the larger goal.