How to Make a Decision and Stick with it?

Can you make a life changing changing decision in a second and stick with it? You bet you can.

I have done it several times and I will show you how to do it yourself.

Bad Habit №1

I quit smoking 7 years ago. It was a conscious decision. I had Allen Carr's book (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Easy_Way_to_Stop_Smoking) on a shelf for 10 years, but never got the chance to read it. Until that moment when I made a real, almost palpable decision. Then I read it and — simply quit. One has to be honest: Carr’s book did help. But I already knew 80% of things in there. He only filled in some details that completed the picture. I have only confirmed my conviction that smoking is part of my past.

You see, many people have read this book, but they weren’t ready and it didn’t work for them. Those who quit, they were ready. So Carr’s whole concept was right, but this is not about him. This is about my decision: a clear intention that grew and ripened in me.

The weirdest thing when you make a decision is that it becomes easy. You have no withdrawal symptoms, no crisis. You simply overcame the problem. It is no longer an issue. It is over. And you are wonder why didn’t you do it sooner?

Identity shift

Why does it work? Because when you make a real decision, what has changed? You have! Your identity has changed! in this case, you don’t consider yourself a smoker anymore.

Your core belief about that aspect of yourself has changed. Therefore, it would be completely irrational and illogical for you to continue to smoke. It is not about whether the smoking is good or bad for you health. You knew that way before you lightened your first cigarette.

Maybe you tried your first cigarette out of curiosity. The reason you kept smoking is because it became a part of your identity. And then you changed your identity and you no longer do it.

Why is it so unexpectedly easy to quit all of a sudden? Because there is no more inner conflict! Your desire to quit and smoking as part of your personality, are no longer in a clash. The inner struggle no longer exists: you are simply done with it.

Many people who were dealing with addictions or any type of behavior they wanted to change, have figured this one out. When you change your identity, the habit that is not aligned with that identity will vanish. On the other hand, people who have quit some habits but maintained the same old identity, will always be in danger of ‘falling off the wagon’’. Carr is absolutely right in that regard: those people will always feel they made some sacrifice by abandoning the habit. They will talk about it as if it is some long lost love. You can almost hear them say: “She was ‘’the One’’, but alas! Destiny took her away!’’ This pathetic self-pity is a way to lessen their constant inner conflict. They are still “addicted” to that behavior, they just don’t do it anymore. But the problem still remains.

Bad Habit №2

I had a similar situation with my weight. Since I was a teenager, I was overweight: 15–20 pounds, on average. I was exercising, going to the gym, but the excess weight was there. A few times, I managed to get my “ideal” weight back, but it did not last for long.

Approximately seven years ago I made a conscious decision that I would not go over 220 pounds (100 kg) anymore. That was actually some unspoken compromise with myself. I was not getting in an ideal shape, but I would not allow myself anymore to be really overweight. That worked and afterwards I had stable weight for a couple of years.

Then six years ago, all of a sudden I decided it was time to get my ideal weight back. I have changed my diet and voila: results were quick and very satisfying. Since then, there was only one time when I gained 8–10 pounds but I lost it with no effort in a couple of months.

The point is that deep down I knew I was done with being overweight. That wasn’t me anymore. I even started eating complete crap for a while because I was so sure that I could not get fat anymore.

My identity has changed and then it was easy to get rid of the weight. No more inner struggle and it felt so easy.

Final word

You are a free being. You can change your identity any time you want. For example, I can decide to be an overweight smoker once again. But I have no desire whatsoever to watch that movie anymore. Seen it, done it, been there!

The point is I cannot tell you how to make the decision. It can take a long time for you to come to that tipping point. But if you want something bad enough, you will reach that point and you will know it! When you compare it with all the other “decisions” you made in the past, that lasted only for a while, you will know the difference.

It is like comparing some previous bad relationship with a good one. Yes, you had some good moments, there were emotions, affection, but in reality it is not even close to a good relationship. The whole feeling is different, because it just flows and everything feels…right.

The same can be said about the decisions: the final, true decision has a sense of conviction and inner peace that is unique. Every time you make that kind of decision, you will know it. Trust me!

Or actually, trust yourself and then anything is possible ;)