How To Help The Helpless

Of course I'm talking from experience. Otherwise, how could I know the basics of what it feels to be completely and utterly helpless. As you know, there is an art in helplessness and it's called The Art of Helplessness. (seriously) By the way, you can't just know about this art without Being this art. Neither, you can read it in books or it be taught in a course. This incredible and imposible art you have to live it, breath it, and feel it creeping into your mind like the monster hiding inside the closet or under your bed or else. Once you know your demon, you drag it out of the dark and look at it deep into his eyes. Once face to face with your worst nightmare, the moment will decide if you are an artist or another fraudster.

Only now you know how real it feels to be you, whatever that means. The fact is that you do think, question, compare, dream and hope for the best but at some point you drop everything and begin to feel hopeless. Dreamless, full of nightmares, empty of answers and without desire or meaning you think, "There's no point, I'm done!"

At that point, you might think you have reached rock bottom. But you don't truly believe that because you are still breathing, and let's admit it, feeling bad can feel pretty good at times, albeit you don't know it and can't control it but is true. As if you were addicted to relive your pain over and over again. It is almost automatic to think of your own suffering and the many ways to avoid it superficially. Such a fact, somehow makes you think there must be a solution to all your problems. However, that's where the problem begins.

Thinking there's a problem in your life makes YOU part of the problem, and that is a big problem. First because there isn't one. Wait, wait, trust me on this. YOU ARE NOT THE PROBLEM. Why? Because you are also the source of the solution. So, bare with me. First, let's get dirty.

Let's imagine the worst of circumstances and for that I'm going to make up a scenario (kind of).

Bobby

Bobby was born Carol, and his father made him his bitch from as earlier as his first change of nappies. Bobbie could always recall his father's hand between his legs touching and probing. Thankfully, Bobby was abducted by another family at the age of 4. - Snatched from his home, Bobby went to live with a different kind of monster. This time Bobby landed in the middle of a warzone. Everyone in that tribe wanted to kill each other and for no apparent reason. There wasn't a night Bobby could sleep with both eyes closed. Bruised from head to toe, Bobby learned to fight but only against those weaker than him. Time passed and Bobby escaped, leaving his second home at the age of 8.

Streetwise, Bobby learned to survive by selling himself. Drugs, alcohol, a lot of dirty hands and stinky white tongues were his daily bread. Then, one day he killed his first victim. A poor little duckling separated from his family walking alone in the middle of the road. Without a thought, Bobby snatched the baby bird from the floor and held it tight in his hand.

The rage towards that little duckling was beyond control. Bobby looked straight into its eyes and squeezed. Little by little, harder and harder. Locked onto each other's souls, he saw the tiny eyes about to pop out of their sockets but before the final breath was squeezed out of that little bird, Bobby let go. He was only 12.

Bobby kept his secret inside. No one knew about the fire that consumed everything in his path. He wasn't bad or evil, he just didn't know how to control his emotions. Mistrust made him a lonelener and anger an abuser, especially of himself.

Addicted to everything, Bobby became more addicted to pain than to anything else. Specially, he loved remembering the suffering and injustices of his past and got high dreaming impossible dreams for the future. Longing for a different reality without the tiniest idea how to make those dreams come true. Every time he tried to change, nothing worked out and ended up more bruiced and alone than ever.

Bobby got used to dreaming other people's dreams. A house, family, purpose, meaning, they were all romantic thoughts without structure or ground. Just ideas in the cloud that made his darkness shed a little light. Nevertheless, inaccessible and unrealistic.

OR WSO HE THOUGHT?...

How To Help The Helpless

STEP ONE: DO NOTHING AND DO IT IN ABUNDANCE. - This is probably the worst advice you'll ever hear but is true nevertheless. When starting a new project before you start 'doing' you ought to focus on ‘not-doing’, but not-do-it consciously. It may sound easy or the same as just doing what you do everyday of your life but is not. Conscience changes everything.

Doing-Nothing while not-having-sex, watching porn or Netflix (which is pretty much the same thing), eating, drinking, not-having-fun, masturbating, getting high, abusing or being abused in thought, word or deed is not doing-nothing. That is, having a very busy life being you, at least the YOU that can be turned into a masterpiece.

Doing-Nothing means that, doing ABSOLUTELY nothing at all. Allowing only the thing that keeps you alive to still exist. i.e. breathing. The secret here is to not jump out like a headless chicken in an intent to escape your reality when you are faced with your worst enemy... your own presence. Instead, I’m asking you to stay with yourself, and consciously both you and your presence together do nothing. (just breathe, that is)

- Start with 3 minutes, and little by little add 3 minutes more, and 3 more, until you reach 33 minutes just breathing. (close your eyes or look into a point in the sky, it doesn't matter)

Doing-Nothing could be the only thing you do in this lifetime, and believe me, it would be a truly remarkable achievement. No comparison - No judgement.

STEP TWO: DO IT CONSISTENTLY AND AS OFTEN AS POSSIBLE. - If you feel Doing-Nothing is now way too easy and you need a challenge, start doing it every day, as you wake up, whenever you wake up.

Never underestimate the power of routine and discipline. - Sorry to drop those bombs at this point but it is important that you realise that you are a very disciplined and structured individual. (Don't laugh, is true.) The difference is that your structures and disciplines may not be beneficial to your growth, progress, inner-peace, joy and/or health. But that doesn't mean you don't know how to be repetitive and do the things you need to do every day, even when you wish you didn't have to do them.

So start from easy-peasy, from waking up... How easy is it for you to wake up and start your day? How easy is it for you to get up from bed and stretch? How easy is it to get up, stretch, find a job you love, fall in love, make love and love yourself?

Regardless of where you are at this point, remember one thing: YOU ARE HERE TO ENJOY BEING YOU - and... EVERY LITTLE HELPS.

No matter what you do, just do it. But consider your vulnerabilities. You can be a superman but you have to learn to live side by side with your kryptonite. That kryptonite, are the challenges in your life.

STEP THREE: BE KIND - REWIND. Treat yourself as you wished you had been treated. Instead of "Oh you little f**cker", say, It's ok, one day you'll get it. You have no idea how powerful love can be, specilly when applied generously to one's own skin.

Patience, tolerance, empathy and compassion are key in this process. You are not helpless, you are simply not waiting for somebody else to help you. Instead, you are empowering and helping yourself.

BY THE WAY...

There is a very powerful technology called Tappilini.com. It may sound Italian but it is rather international. This technology uses Tapping or EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique), Kundalini transcendental meditation, and breathwork. And it works beautifully with helpless situations, circumstances or conditions. Give it a try, if you feel ready to move on.

In the meantime,

Best of luck and much LoveAlways x 333

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