How to Have an IDGAF Attitude

Growing up, all throughout middle school and high school, I had terrible self-esteem. Other people's opinions meant everything to me and I would always take them personally. I was extremely insecure in every aspect of my life, the way I looked, talked, acted, etc. and this made my teenage years really difficult.

I am now 22 (almost 23) years old and I would like to think that I've almost perfected the art of not giving a f*ck. Now, I'm not tooting my own horn here (well, I guess I kinda am) but I've had college friends question me when I say that I was insecure in high school (they didn't know me then), because of how confident and sure of myself I am today.

You see, I had a really toxic friendship that lasted for six years of my life (ages 13-18). That friendship opened my eyes to who I really am/ who I wanted to become. My high school years were not the best, the biggest problem was definitely because of who I surrounded myself with, but also because of the way I thought of myself. I can't blame it all on the toxic relationship because that isn't fair or true. After six years, I decided I couldn't take it anymore and at the end of first-semester senior year, I ended the friendship. This decision was not easy but I needed to do it so that I could take the rest of the year to learn who I was as an individual and prepare for the person I wanted to become in college.

College definitely helped me find myself because I found friends who made me feel comfortable in my own skin. I'm not going to lie to you and say that I instantly loved myself when I went to college because that's not true at all, but I was able to work towards changing my mentality on how I view myself to help improve my life, one day at a time.

As I sit here now, almost 5 years after I graduated high school, I think back to who I was at the beginning of college and just wish that my 18-year-old self could see me today, because I think she would be really proud.

Now, with everything that I've learned in my 22 years of life thus far, I have compiled a list of tips to help you also try and live a care-free life. There is, of course, so much that goes into living an IDGAF life*. I'm going to give you a few pieces of advice that you can consider to help you achieve living a life with less worry and more living!

*By "IDGAF life", I don't mean that you actually don't care about anything.

10 tips to help you adapt an IDGAF attitude

1: THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT *hence why it's first*

Love yourself. No one can love you more than you love yourself. The second you start loving yourself life will become so much easier. Take it from someone who never truly knew what it was like to love herself until she was about 20 years old. The cliché but true statement that "no one will fully be able to love you until you love yourself" sounds scary but it's true.

This is definitely easier said than done, and it takes a lot of time to achieve, but it is possible. Work on it daily, write down some positive affirmations and then recite them out loud (and maybe into a mirror) every morning when you wake up. Eventually, you will start to believe that everything you're saying is true. When that happens you will see life from a new perspective.

In this lifetime, you are only given one body, one life, so treat it with the respect it deserves, take care of it and love it unconditionally.

Life becomes so much more fun when you start to love yourself because instead of worrying about what you look like or what other people are thinking about you, you are living in the moment.

2:

No one actually cares as much as you think they do. It's the harsh truth but literally, no one cares. We all live life thinking that everyone is judging us and thinking about us but in reality, everyone is just thinking about themselves. Humans are selfish, why do we all think that other people care enough to be judging us? Honestly, everyone is way too concerned about themselves to care about anyone else.

3:

Fake it 'til you make it. Honestly, it works. Even if you haven't found your confidence yet, no one will know that you're faking it and eventually, it will feel (and be) real.

4:

Cut negative people out of your life. Don't let the people who bring you down stay in your life. You don't need them and you will be better off without them in the long run. If they are someone who you are really close with, it will be hard, but worth it. You don't realize how much of a weight will be lifted once they are no longer in your life.

Negative people just pull you down with them. After you cut the negative people out and find the people who lift you up, you will understand that it was the best decision you ever could of made (again, take it from someone who's experienced this).

5:

Surround yourself with people who make you feel good. These will be the people who end up staying in your life forever. Find the people who inspire you, encourage you, support you and never make you feel bad about anything that you are doing.

Your best friends should be your #1 supporters in everything you do. You don't realize how important it is to have these people in your life, until you finally find them. When you feel comfortable with the people around you, you will not care about how you act or what you look like because you'll know that they don't care and would never judge.

6.

Confidence is key. The big secret to living an IDGAF life is just simply, confidence. Don't confuse confidence with self love though, because they are different. If you walk with your head held high and you embrace the world around you, rather than fear it and try to hide from it, life will provide you with amazing opportunities. You never know who you will meet or what you will acomplish once you truly feel confident.

Confidence is the sexiest trait a person can have. You don't realize it until you start living with it, but you will attract so much positivity in your life when you start walking, talking and acting with confidence.

7.

Do things that make you happy. Find your simple pleasures in life. For me, it's watching the sun set and stargazzing. Two extreamly simple, natural, but so amazing, things that we take for granted every day. Do you enjoy writing? Photography? Making music? Drawing? Find the things in life that bring you joy and do them. Every day, every week, as much as you can. By doing these things, the more joy you'll find in life and it will make living so much fun.

You know what also is amazing? Finding someone to do those things with you! Honestly, being alone is super refreshing but doing the things you love with the people you love is euphoric. There's no better feeling in life. You might be thinking "but Olivia, I don't know what brings me joy" Well then, try a million different things until you figure it out! It took me a while to figure it out (and honestly, there is probably still so many things that I haven't discovered yet), so it's okay!

I promise you will find happiness, sometimes you just have to go out and look for it.

8.

Don't overthink about the past. My cousin (and best friend), Rachel Hoffman, is a licenced therapist and one time she told me, “Stop 'should-ing' on yourself it just makes you bitter, we cannot change what’s already happened," and it's the truth. There is no going back in time, no changing the past, so all you can do is move forward. It's sucks, but whatever you did in the past that is haunting you, you just have to accept that it happened, learn and grow from it, then move on.

The whole "shoulda, coulda, woulda" thing, has got to go. You have to live your life with no regrets, because everything happens for a reason, even the stuff we wish didn't happen.

9.

Dont seek approval from others - the only person you need to please is yourself. This one is simple. Do not let other people's opinion effect you. Everything you do in life should be done because you want to do it for yourself not for anyone else. If you are someone who has been seeking approval of other's for a long time, this is hard thing to adjust but I promie you, it's possible and totally worth it. Do what makes YOU happy.

10.

Look for something worth giving a fuck. Find the things in life you genuinly care about and GIVE A F*CK ABOUT IT! I told you, living the IDGAF life doesn't mean you don't care about anything! It is so important to find the things in life you DO care about. This could be a person (or group of people), place, activity/hobby, honeslty anything! Being passionate about something holds so much power in life, so find your passion and live for it.

It won't be easy at first, but eventually, you will know exactly what in your life is worth giving a f*ck about.

It's not always easy, but it's worth it.

I want everyone to know that having an IDGAF attitude (to me) means that you don't care about what other people think of you and you aren't influenced/fazed by the negative commentary you may hear about your life.

You need to find love and joy within yourself to truly be happy. Always rememeber that nothing is more powerful than living a life full of positivity and love.

Prioritize yourself and your happiness and the rest will all fall into place. Trust me.

It sometimes may feel like the universe is against you but it's not. I truly believe that everything does happen for a reason. The more you remind yourself of that, the more you'll accept and grow from everything life throws at you.

xoxo

Olivia

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If you are experiencing any kind of personal struggle, I am always here for you if you need it.

My DMs are ALWAYS open -

@oliviahoffma11 on Instagram

@oliviahoffman on Twitter

Resources:

*there are SO many resources out there (podcasts, videos, shows, movies, etc.) but here are the ones that have helped me thus far*

Books:

- You are a Badass by Jen Sincero

- The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck by Mark Manson

- Unfu*k Yourself by Gary John Bishop

- Pretty Good Advice by Leslie Blodgett