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How to Create Your Own Stability

We all want stability, but how can we create it ourselves instead of seeking it?

By Amanda DoylePublished 4 months ago 3 min read
Photo by Markus Spiske on

Life is never stable. Life is constantly moving and evolving, and we go through the waves on a daily basis.

What do I mean by this? Everything comes in waves if you really think about it. Some days are up, some days are down. You'll have a really good thing happen, just to have something bring you down a little bit later. And then surprise! Another good thing happens.

As an entreprenuer, I've had to learn to ride the waves of running your own business. It involves a lot of patience, and a lot of accepting that you failed. But when I'm up on the top of that wave, riding it into the sunset, it's one of the best feelings ever. That's what I mean when I say that life comes in waves.

We can try to fool ourselves into thinking that we have created the perfectly stable life, but in all reality, the only thing that we can control is ourselves.

Do you have stability within yourself?

This is, admittedly, a very hard thing to find. I consider myself someone with a lot of mental health challenges, and I do struggle a lot with finding stability within myself instead of searching for it elsewhere.

When you create stability within yourself, as opposed to seeking it outside of you, you can find new ways to cope and take care of yourself. Things that you could have never imagined helping you, but do, because you did some self discovery.

Creating stability within ourselves is especially important when we struggle with dependency issues and want to be more independent.

The thing is, when you get your stability from another person, it can very easily be taken away. Just like that. The control is all in the other person's hands. But when you create it within yourself, it's not so easy to have that taken away from you.

What are some ways that we can create stability within ourselves, you ask? Let's take a quick look:

Trusting our own decisions and intuition more

We can all be guilty of ignoring our intuition and what we truly want. Learn to listen to your intuition instead of trying to resist what it has to say. Here's the difference between intuition and anxiety, in my opinion: your intuition doesn't make you feel like shit. Simple as that.

And as far as trusting your own decisions, when you make one, don't back down. Stick to the original decision, unless it truly feels wrong for YOU.

Gaining awareness of our thoughts and emotions in crisis situations

It's so important to have awareness in crisis situations, because that's how we get OUT of crisis situations. By gaining awareness, we can gain a little clarity and start to learn how to cope. But the first step is being aware of our feelings and why we are feeling them.

Examining our own habits to discover the best ways that we can self soothe

This ties into awareness. After you gain awareness, examine your habits and what you naturally lean towards when you're feeling upset. What habits cause your anxiety to go down? Learn about yourself and then use those habits in crisis situations to soothe yourself, instead of needing someone else.

Giving ourselves more compassion when we make mistakes

This can be really hard, but it's really crucial. No one else can effectively love us as much as we can. So take that into consideration and show yourself some love! Next time you find yourself beating yourself up for a mistake, remember that you are human and you are allowed to make mistakes. We all do. Forgive yourself, just like how you want others to.

Photo by Mert Kahveci on

It will be much easier for you in the long run to create stability within yourself instead of searching for it outside of yourself. It's safer, healthier, and will save you some heartbreak.

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About the Creator

Amanda Doyle

Multi-talented entrepreneur, trying to figure out who I am in this world while also running a small business. My business, Happily Mander, offers life coaching services, tarot and oracle readings, and much more. Entering my bad bitch era.

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