How 5 Minutes Can Feel Like an Eternity

Have you ever experienced those excruciating moments before the pregnancy test works its magic? One line or two? One line or two? That agonizing wait, while you’re on the precipice, caught in a state of in-between, is the worst. It can go one way or another, there’s a 50–50 chance (or more accurately, a black-or-white conclusion). Maybe you’re not a gambling person, but still, you can’t help calculating the odds as the seconds tick by slower than a turtoise on vacation.

You check the instructions again — 5 minutes. Yes, you knew that. A 5 minutes wait before the great reveal. The first line is the safety check, meant to confirm the sample’s viability. The second one, though, that’s the real deal. The little dash that may decide your future. You’re not convinced a higher power exists, but you start contemplating it, perhaps for the first time in years. Willing It to answer your plea.

Now, do you remember that 50–50 chance? It’s doesn’t represent just the possibility of the outcome but your own desires. On paper, it’s quite simple.

A. You want the two lines.

You’re done with just one. You crave completeness and feel ready for the (perhaps) biggest adventure of your life. A child, a manifestation of your womb, your femininity. Maybe you’ve been trying for some time without success or the current circumstance caught you by surprise but inspired you to utter the enticing “What if”.

B. You dream about the solo line.

Glaring at the test, you perform a mental Haka meant to intimidate the second line from making an appearance. You’re too young, the timing is not right, you don’t feel prepared, your partner is absent or unfit, it was just a random thing, etc. There can be a myriad of reasons for wishing so (there’s no axiom here, no universal truth, only your own) but the bottom line is clear. Only one outcome is right for you.

Time has a funny quality to it.

We all know Albert Einstein’s famous quote about the relativity of time to one’s frame of reference. Everyone in existence must have experienced it first-hand. “Time flies when you’re having fun.” Or “By God, will this lecture ever end?” It all depends on your perspective of the event in question. In this case, those pesky 5 minutes can allow you to visualize whole decades, depending on your inner wishes. You see the little grain of salt grow to the size of a pea, an apple, a canteloupe, and before you know it, a loaf of bread that you cradle in your arms, right before you get them dressed for the first day of school and then videotape their wedding. You see it with perfect clarity and in great detail. Or you can envision more dreary scenarios, depending on where you stand on the 50–50 scale. But let’s not get into that.

Small addendum

While the “What if” is listed under category A, it may as well have one of its own. The particularity here, and the bittersweet truth, is that no matter the outcome, a part of you is left with pangs of disappointment. The “What if” is not as strong as a full “Yes”, but its tentative feel insures a sort of rebellion against the “One line” or “two” black or white finality. Of course, it too depends on the firmness of your contemplation.

The big reveal

After the 5 minutes (or decades) finally pass you check the sample with trembling hands. What scenario will come to fruition? Well, I can’t tell you that, silly. It can go either way, remember? With elation and unbound happiness, relief beyond compare, or anxiety and even misery. But regardless of the outcome, there are a few important takeaways.

Takeaways

1. If you’re rooting for and got the “One line”, then this whole situation must have scared the bejesus out of you. Surely you don’t want to repeat the same experience in a month, right? The answer is simple: do whatever is in your power to prevent that from happening. In our day and age, protection is easily accessible. It’s actually inexcusable to overlook it. Yes, accidents happen, but that’s not a reason for a lack of trying altogether. Ladies, do not leave it solely with your guy. Because if the second line appears, it won’t be just on them, or maybe not at all in some unfortunate cases. Protection is key. Don’t be a passive participant in your life. Take the time and research the ways that work best for you. Be it condoms, IUDs, the pill, shot, diaphragm, or a combo. But don’t leave it to chance. You can read in-depth explanations and viability percentages of various options here.

2. If you longed for the second line and it didn’t surface do not despair. It doesn’t mean it won’t materialize ever. The Universe has a funny way of making it happen when it’s best, not when you wish for it. If that’s really what you want, pick yourself up and keep going, persevere. With an open mind and an equally open heart, broadcasting waves of love and openness, not desperation. You attract what you give.

3. There’s always a choice but more importantly, a lesson. I won’t get into the predictable debate here, but there is no one-size-fits-all mold. Whatever you wanted and didn’t get, reflect upon the experience in its entirety — why did it unfold as such? There may be something you’re overlooking, something you need to work on.

4. If you got what you wanted, congratulations! That’s awesome! Take a moment and allow yourself to experience gratefulness, through and through. Give back positive energy to the world.

The 5 minutes are up, you have some food for thought either way, now it’s time to resume living. Take a deep breath and carry on. Live a life worth living, self-aware and mindful.

A.M.Radulescu

Disclaimers: This is an opinion piece, so please process it through your inner filter. As mentioned, there’s no universal truth. Also, the 5-minute wait is more of a metaphor. Some tests may take less or longer, but most of them are around this time frame. I strongly urge you to thoroughly investigate everything related to protection and birth control. But most of all, be kind to yourself. There’s only one you :)

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