Hi, I've missed you.

Hello my sweet babies, I have missed you! It’s been 3 whole months since I last sat down to write something for this platform. I want to personally apologize to those who have patiently waited hoping I would continue writing. Throughout my writing journey I promised myself that I would always live authentically here. There is freedom in expressing yourself truly in the form of writing. I missed it, I genuinely missed it. So let's sit together please? If you will be so kind to forgive my 3 month absence. I promise I will explain it all. So let's grab our coffee, blunts, extra ice iced tea ( this heat says you deserve the extra ice babyy!) and disassociate together through this read shall we!!!

Since the last time I sat down with you all shit has changed; and I mean CHANGED. Most days feel terrifying to me if you want me to be truthful. Coming back “home” I knew I would face obstacles, I knew I would have to climb mountains, I already knew all of these things. My life has not always been easy, not to say I haven't felt what it’s like to just live but honestly I haven’t fully. I’ve lived comfortably before, the house with the clean sheets every week is a type of luxury I am here for because it means stability. I come from childhood homelessness; if you ask my adopted parents they would say it's all a lie. My adopted parents have a great way of ignoring even the surface of problems.

This is why I have found myself being pulled by the Universe to finally heal. Lost and confused by my true purpose in this world I chose to find it in people all through my 20’s. Honestly, I have truly been lost since the day I ran away from my life at 17 years old. Without proper guidance I have been bouncing around confused as to why I keep finding myself lost. Lost in what I am supposed to do with myself. Here I am finding myself back where I was when I ran away from home. This time I am doing this alone; but only in the sense that I can care for myself. This world is terrifying but I have survived the monsters that are hiding; the ones you call family or your best friends. I have looked the beasts in the eyes while they thought I played dead. My life is just as important as the person next to me; so I am done hiding. I am done being scared of what my potential could become.

For the last 3 months (give or take) I devoted my time and energy into places that were absolutely draining me of my true potential. Can we just take a moment to talk about how toxic work environments can be? I have so many topic ideas I would love to fully get into; but I can’t not mention this. A part of the last couple months or so I truly put my all into a place that threw me out the moment I wasn’t useful in the same ways. I wonder what someone else would do if they had spent the last couple of months alone walking the steps I have. Here I am kicking and screaming just to breathe after a very traumatic situation so let's punish you for being exhausted by taking your job. How incredibly disheartening is it that we live in a world where a person you thought saw your potential looks you in the eyes and tells you that your mental breakdown is unprofessional and that "we just had a meeting about calling out". You guys I am a devoted person; but I can only handle so much.

These last few months feel like a roller coaster I was never asked to be strapped on too but I'm here to survive the ride and experience it. I've learned a lot in the short amount of time. I'd love to share my experiences and journey here. I'm just struggling to find where to even begin with telling you all the last 3 months. So I hope you'll bear with me as I try my best. You'll find my experiences written a lot like this or sometimes written through my poetry. However you choose to hear me; I hope you enjoy what you're reading. Please give this a "heart" if you enjoyed the read. Each time you read, heart and share this you're helping me keep my content ALIVE.