happiness

If you have ever felt the depth of stress, you know that it is not the same as being sad or having "." It is a hopeless, frustrating feeling of despair when nothing, not even your loved ones, can take you away.

It can feel like you are underwater in the ocean while the waves keep washing you away, pushing you further and further down, and no matter how hard you try, you don't seem to be breaking the ground to get that much needed air to survive.

Unfortunately, I am not a stranger to this enemy, this existence of unacceptable darkness. I have a chronic depression problem, and it has been following me for years, letting me know that it will never go away.

For a long time I thought I was a victim. It always seemed that others had it very easily. I felt lonely. While I knew that there were others out there who were suffering from mental illness, it was hard not to have a “poor” attitude while I was in it.

I got to a point where I would never even try to take a pill every day to prevent depression. I felt hopeless most of the time. Even in good times, underground, there was sorrow for the coming destruction that I did not know would eventually take over.

The last major depression I had was last year. I had to move back to live with my parents (at age 34) when I was unemployed, hopeless, and had just clashed. This has happened more often than I care to admit.

But this time it was different because I was determined to crawl out of that dark spot and never go back there.

I had a choice - I could go down the same narrow road where I knew all the stops and gaps, or I could go the other way, a path that could lead to inner peace and happiness.

I decided to take the less expensive road. It wasn't easy at all because I hit a lot of lumps and hit a wall or three times. The biggest challenge was getting good mental health care, because I had spent years looking for it, but to no avail.

After I finally found a psychiatrist and found my medication had been used, I added some much-needed treatment. This has helped me to accept the fact that, although a chemical imbalance is something I was born with, I could not control my illness; it controlled me.

This last year has been a turning point for me. Keeping a journal of my thoughts on both good and bad times has led to the emergence of the way I think.

I realized that I had lost hope for so many years. I was so depressed that I truly believed that I would never have a happy life because of my mental illness.

I have always thought that happy people never go through hardships. I now realize that even though those people have problems, it is their attitude that drives them through difficult times.

Unhappiness is usually not the result of what happens in a person's life, but rather the way a person thinks about what happens.

I now realize that although I cannot change what happened in the past, my present attitude and attitude will help me to cope with whatever lies ahead. Controlling my thoughts will make my inner world a place of freedom instead of a prison.

I am determined to be one of those happy people. But that requires work - a lot of work!

My negative mind rejected the idea of ​​any good in the beginning. Gradually though, applying the assurances in my daily life has provided much needed guidance in my ongoing transformation into a willing person. It takes practice to train your mind and you have to work on it every day, but it can be done.

So how does one become a willing person?

Work on erasing that negative song over and over again in your mind.

Swap that track with catchy music and be sure it's the only one you can dance to!

Use daily verification. The two that helped me were:

"I willingly accept things as they come, even if I don't like them."

"The way I respond always chooses me."

Keep reminding yourself of the good things in life.

It could be a simple thing - for example, that you have a roof over your head or that you have a lot of food.

Take care of yourself physically and mentally.

Exercise, eat well, and carry vitamins.

I have to remind myself many times that change will not happen overnight, and it will take more than a few months for me to be the exact person I want to be.

I try to talk to her in the same kind of compassion that I would to a friend. I work to see every event in my life as useful to me in some way.

Last year, I started yoga. Calming my mind has shown that it is a very difficult task to do, because my brain is blabbermouth. However, each breath helps to be present. I am still very flexible, but I have set goals that keep me motivated

I have also begun to meditate, which has shown that it is very difficult since then, although I have no problem being physically silent, my speaking mind will not be silent. I was so frustrated that I began to use daily confessions and songs. Now I can move on and beat up all those bad thoughts that come up.

I have also found that writing is a passion. Putting my negative thoughts on paper helps me to identify distorted thoughts that may continue from time to time. It also helps me to turn those thoughts into positive ones and to look at things from a new perspective.

Negative thoughts may come back from time to time, but I remind myself that the way I respond is always my choice. When I have problems, they happen because I still have a lot to learn.