How to Be Your Real Self and What’s Been Stopping You

This past year I felt like I was running a supermarket, naked.

But not as cold.

As a life coach for women, some of my glamor has to do with supporting women in full display as their bright, beautiful people - and I have paid them for all the work of dealing with fear, self-esteem, brain training to focus more and feel stronger, compared to lack and victim-hood, and many other pieces. powerful.

I make no secret of the fact that I have to do all this to lead women in their work.

And working on visibility - showing off as my unique, progressive, personal person - has been at the center of much of the profound change work I was supposed to be doing last year.

As I worked on building my ability to work for women, I realized that I, too, was hiding in full light. I was not really expressing myself, I was not telling the whole truth, I was not happy about who I was and how different I am from other coaches I am (as each of us is!).

What was I hiding? What if I was standing in the middle of a shadow, afraid of the glory of my intellect, afraid of being 100% exposed as who I am and what I am here to say?

I was hiding it for a number of reasons:

I had stories about what a successful female business owner “looked like” and I wasn’t.

I have stories about how I handle (or do not handle) money - and deep fears about my ability to commit when I make too much money.

I had stories about exposing as an example of a woman building a life I love to live because I told myself that women would not look at my life and wanted to create something like it.

I had deep, incurable wounds from childhood, when I felt that I was not seen or heard, when I felt that making my needs known should not be found.

I also experienced a strong fear surrounding being seen as a young person before walking for years on the streets of NYC and I felt the urge to be verbally abused by men, which made me lower myself too much to avoid being attacked.

When you find out what’s holding you back from showing up, you can learn how to heal yourself and move on, in the light of what you love.

Why is your appearance important to you?

Being seen as your own person enables you to create a job you love.

Being seen as your real personality allows you to build satisfying relationships and meaningful and supportive friendships.

Being seen as your own person affects your ability to earn compensation for the work you do.

Being seen as your true personality affects your ability to create healthy boundaries.

Being seen as your true identity is reflected in your self-care and health - how clear you are about what you need, and how well you are able to ask for what you need and put yourself first.

Here's what I learned:

The more honest, honest I am, and the more I appear in my life, in my business, in my relationship, in my upbringing, in my relationships, the better. Because everything I build is built on a solid rock foundation — the foundation of who I am in my wonderful, loving, and talented conference.

And that thing doesn't wash.

Now why are you hiding? See if any of the following reasons apply to you:

It would not always be safe to be seen.

You fear that you might irritate, discriminate, or intimidate people when you actually appear.

People may not like you, they may be jealous of you, or they may be angry with you if you say what you think.

Success is awesome.

He is afraid of failure.

You have news of why you are not _____ enough to be who you are, have what you want, do what you love.

You spend a lot of time hiding who you are, you’re not sure what’s underneath.

Who has the time to be honest?

Take a moment and write down, right now, whether to hide your appearance or your identity that seems to work for you.

Now, write down that letting go of any fear or resistance to full demonstration can help you - what would happen if you were to appear fully, 100% visible, and yourself? What could be yours?

When you can see how it would help you to hide, be thin, stay calm, you will be able to begin the work of freeing those old fears and superstitions and step out into your light.