Great Expectations

Like most of us, when I was growing up, my parents had certain high expectations for me. I had to do well in sports, academics, work, you name it. I had to be good at it. The truth of the matter is, I didn’t like any of those things, so I may not have tried as hard as I could to be good at them. In fact, I became something of a class clown, always getting my friends to cause disturbances in the classroom. This got me in trouble more times than I can count, and I began to develop a reputation as a troublemaker. The thing is, I knew what I was doing was wrong because it was disrespectful; however, it was my way of rebelling against my parents’ expectations of me. I figured I couldn’t meet those expectations, so I shouldn’t even try. Eventually, I quit sports (I wasn’t good at baseball anyway) and dropped out of high school to work full time.

Over the course of the next five years, I got my GED, and I worked in video stores, grocery stores, a lumber mill, sold vacuums, worked as an HVAC technician, and the list goes on. I got to a point where I just didn’t feel like I was accomplishing anything, and I was unsure of what to do with my life besides working all the time and partying when I wasn’t. I started going to the library and checking out books on any topic I found interesting. I remembered my parents’ expectation for me to do well academically, so I figured getting into reading was a start. I started to feel I was missing out on something all those years I spent goofing off. As I began reading and learning new things, I started to think maybe I would enjoy taking a class at the local community college. So, I took my GED and enrolled. The rest, as they say, is history.

I tell you that story to tell you that, when I started college full time, I began forming expectations of my own, expectations of what I wanted out of life. At the top was to be a good provider for my family, and next was the expectation to do well in college so I could support my family. It’s not that I forgot the expectations my parents had of me; it’s that my priorities changed, and I began to see what I needed to do to achieve my goals. I studied my butt off for the next four years and earned a BA in English (my least favorite subject in high school), and I applied and was accepted to Grad School. I studied even harder and graduated with an MA in English in 2004. What was I going to college for? I wanted to be an English teacher. So, that’s what I did, and I have been teaching English to college students for almost 20 years.

When people have expectations of us, we need to decide whether those expectations match who we are and who we want to become. I am not suggesting we rebel against them completely, but we do need to evaluate them. You probably have expectations of yourself to do well at gardening, academics, racing cars, or horseback riding. Whatever the case may be, your expectations for yourself are the ones that are most important; no one else’s expectations should matter. If you expect yourself to be a good mother or father, then be a good mother or father. If you expect yourself to be good at your job and work your way up, put yourself in situations, and surround yourself with people, that will help you meet those expectations. The important thing to remember is not to get discouraged. A lot of good will come from setting your sights on meeting those expectations. Even if it doesn’t happen right away, the journey is worth it.