Purposeful Speech

There is a saying that goes, “What you say can be forgiven, but it can never be forgotten.” There is much truth to this, and it is evident in our relationships with others that communication is never quite the same after we have, for lack of a better phrase, stuck our foot in our mouth. So, what can one do to ensure that our communication with others continues productively? We need purposeful speech. We have always been told to think about what we say before we say it, and that can’t be more accurate. While about 80% of our communication with others in non-verbal, what we say to others has a massive impact on how they perceive us and how they react to us.

No doubt, you have been in social situations before where you have been talking to someone and they say something rude about someone, or even about you. That person might apologize for hurting your feelings, but you won’t forget what that person said, and that can adversely affect any communication you have with that person in the future. You understand, based on what your older relatives always told you, that this person should have thought before speaking. That is where purposeful speech is useful. So, what is it, and how do we use it? Read on.

In my mind, purposeful speech is just how it sounds; it is speech with a purpose. What we say to others should have some purpose behind it to keep conversation going smoothly. Think about what you want to say and think about what purpose it will serve once it is said. This isn’t always possible, as in everyday conversation with friends, but it is useful in meetings and other professional settings. Here are some questions to ask yourself if you want to speak with purpose:

What exactly do I want to say?

What might be the effects on the other person if I say it?

Did I fully listen to and comprehend what the other person said?

Will what I say move the conversation in a positive direction?

The above questions will get you thinking about purposeful speech and the effects it can have on your communication with others. Understanding what a person says before you respond is key to healthy communication, and it can help you to communicate more effectively in many situations. I have witnessed conversations “go south” quickly because the person responding did not listen actively to the person speaking and missed out on valuable information. But this is a topic for another writing. Right now, we want to focus on purpose. Is what we say going to boost our ego but make someone else feel badly? We may not want to say it. In thinking purposefully about what we want to say, we need to take the other person’s thoughts and feelings into consideration and respond with purpose, or we will miss out on what we might have learned through that conversation.

So, the next time you’re itching to respond to what someone is saying, don’t just blurt it out. Think about the words and tone you will use to say what you want to say in response. What you say should be thoughtful and should keep the conversation moving in a positive direction, as in the question above. You will notice that, when you take the time to think about what you want to say, you get much more accomplished, and you keep important relationships alive. While it can be difficult at first to speak with purpose, the more you ask yourself the above questions before you speak, the easier speaking purposefully will become.