Gooooooooooooooal!!

Psssst! Hey! You! I'm talking to you!

Fine, you're asleep, we can still talk. Just listen.

I'm your creativity, and we need to have a discussion.

I have a few ideas about how to “up our game,” so to speak. Let's talk about the weaknesses in your writings, and how to improve them.

First, stop referring to them as your “scribbles!” You're getting excellent feedback, aren't you? So what if you didn't win? Yes, the money is nice, but remember, that's not really what you're doing this for. You started off by just writing stories you thought were good, and sending them off into the void, hoping that someone would read them and it would resonate. You're getting that, and it's an amazing feeling. Hang on to that, even if it seems that sometimes you're sending out stories into the abyss and the abyss is out shopping. You don't know what's going on in others' lives, that they don't or can't give commentary. Soliciting is still illegal, and crying's just bad form.

Second, you've already identified some holes and are working to fix them. Excellent! I know that the pictures present a challenge. What you'd love to use doesn't exist in reality – heck, half those stories I feed you don't exist in reality! - and you don't have the artistic skillz to re-create them. Nor do you have the discretionary money to pay someone to do the artwork for you. Talking with your husband about what ideas could also work is good. You're getting varied ideas, and narrowing them down to either something you have in your extensive photo files or something you can collage is good. Keep doing it! The last three images were markedly better, in my not so humble opinion.

Third, titles. I know, I know, I go for the pun. Even when it doesn't match the story. We'll do better.

Fourth, point of view of the main character. You're getting in a bit of a rut, and you need to shake things up a bit. The story you're working on now is an excellent example of that – you deliberately made it choppy, to heighten the startling realization that things have gone off the rails. I know you wanted to do it as memoir, but by utilizing memos and dispatches to tell the story, you've added other points of view to a complicated plotline. Can be confusing, yes, but it tells the story in real time. Keep shaking it up. You can always re-write later if it bugs you.

In that same vein: fifth, story cutting. Knock it off! Yes, you have some awesome unpublished stories. And there are some awesome challenges. And sometimes the themes coincide. Cutting a story to meet the word limit just makes for awful reading. Gotta stop that. I'm giving you enough stories that you can write others. Winning is nice, sure, but telling an awesome story is more important to you. Always has been. So, though you're tempted, just don't. Yes, you still have the full-length version of the ones you chopped. If I give you the time (hah!), go back and publish the full story. You'll feel better.

Sixth, editing and proofreading. I know, I know, you're a freaking perfectionist, and the child of a fourth grade teacher who specialized in grammar. I know you've got a hang-up about it. You “prefoof” and “prouf,” and still the occasional oops slides through. That's why the I.T. gods invented Quick Edit. Stuff happens, just roll with it. Catch what you can, and wrangle the occasional rogue letters with after-the-publish edits.

Seventh, appreciate the people who care enough to comment. They're awesome! Respond accordingly! Bask in the glory! Whoa, hey, I said “bask,” not get addicted to the feedback – whoa, wait, how many times have you checked your page in the last hour?? Come on, people have lives and jobs and such, come on! Well, except for the spammers. Report them and move on. No, seriously, get your finger off that refresh button! Go wash some dishes or something. Okay, maybe not while you're sleeping, but still. Seriously.

Eighth, pace yourself. You know your ideas come in clusters, and they tend to have a dam-breaking effect. Take time to recharge. I'm good, but not good enough to keep up with you when you're riding the high. I recommend hot tea. You're loving that apple cinnamon spice tea in the winter, aren't you? Craving a cuppa right now? Go on, I'll wait.

Feel better? Okay, snuggle in, the ninth point is to continue having fun!! ...Wait, where are you going? To write? What? Hey, I don't recall sending you any new ideas, what are you talking about? Who else are you talking to? What other creative entity are you fraternizing with??

HEY, I WASN'T DONE MONOLOGUING AT YOU! Sheesh – FINE, SEE HOW MANY DREAMS YOU CAN USE AFTER THIS, YOU'RE GONNA DRIVE AND DRIVE AND NEVER GET TO YOUR VACATION SPOT! BORING DREAMS! DREAMS THAT YOU CAN'T USE! People getting ideas wherever they can, what the heck?? I need some salve for my bruised ego!

Should become a soccer coach if this is the thanks I get... Hah, see what I did there? Tied it all in to the title? HEY, I'M STILL TALKING HERE... ah, geez, never mind...