Flow

There's this word tugging at my soul and just like it's meaning it came naturally, no intention, no image mangagement, no motive, it just is, I get the feeling it was something I lost along way being boxed into my thoughts and choosing to let my surroundings be the judge of who I am. I was trying to find reasons behind my choices in life. Maybe I'm punishing myself again because truth is I wanted something to desperately be that wasn't right for me. You know when you love something you never stop loving it. Sometimes we love the wrong things and you know it in your soul when you're trying to control the outcome of the situation that is steering you off course. You lose a piece of yourself, and you know what, it's beautiful because from the heartache you know for a fact it was real. The real lingers and just because you love something that hurts and destroys your current state of being doesn't mean that something new isn't going to be rebuilt. As long as you Flow.

I've forgotten to FLOW. I've been so disconnected with myself trying to fit into the mold and I lost all sense of self, and purpose. When that happens we tend to OVERLOOK, OVERTHINK, and OVERCOMPLICATE things. For some reason we focus on the distractions of what that looks like. Perfection thought up from a flawed individual. Like our greatest desires are to hold everything under the microscope and drive ourselves crazy with things we cannot control. We do it with fear, with anxiety, with a controling nature, as if the world and people around us are suppose to succumb to our will. Seriously its frustrating that my own self serving nature isn't being fulfilled. That last statement is sarcasm by the way because when it's all about you and what you don't have that's all it will ever be. Disconnected. A stone in the riverbed.

It's not judgement I'm expressing and I know I could be standing against the current of someone else's views but my own life has a FLOW of it's own. I just flat out believe this gift of freewill isn't to be OVERLOOKED. It's empathy when you choose to take yourself out of your own mind and own shoes to look at life through someone else's lens, but you can also seperate yourself from their FLOW and YOURS. If you judge you allow that person's views to disrupt you current. The difference between discernment and judgement is that there's contemptment with judgement. With discernment you can agree to disagree and see their flow and maintain yours. When you are disconnected you forget that and judge. We make mistakes we do things out of inexperience, or we love all the wrong things. It takes true compassion and choice to accept yourself for who you are and be aware that everything flows naturally even you. Why are we so fixated on controling people and things that cannot be controled?

The closest thing to control is influence but even with influence those on the receiving end have the choice to allow it into their lives. We all have flow, the question is what direction are we headed? Sometimes I feel I live in a world of people voiceing someone elses opinions in politics, success, trends and the list goes on. Where are the freethinkers before we lived in a world full of noise?

Flow to me emotionally feels like freedom and transparency that creeps in with an unexpected smile and leaves everyone else questioning, With full transparency and honesty the intention isn't to be rude or selfish it is to let you see my Flow and determine whether or not we can connect. If I'm fitting into an image to find acceptance well we are both bound for tragedy because sooner or later the truth to who I am will always come out. I sense it in someone's tone of voice and how they express themselves everyone has it and you feel it sincere or insincere. It can be both peaceful or annoying but natural and unyeilding to it's purpose like our souls. If I ask what flow means to you, I guarantee for certain, we can agree or disagree all day on perspective and that's just fine who's to say the direction in which we flow are meant to be. If you let it you can connect or you can stay stranded standing against someone elses current. In these situations you have to ask are you convicted or stubborn?

I lost you now didn't I? :)

Here's a lesson after many failed attempts,

Conviction versus stubborness 101, "LIFE LESSONS"

You are convicted if the obstacle is making you flow stronger and bears results. You are stubborn if you fall under the definition of insanity with no movement at all.

It's okay make your assumptions, make your judgments, I'm just saying, I lived a full life with many mistakes :/

I enjoy the hard lessons and while everyone is going right, I go left. If there is a sign that says, "Abandon All Hope All Yee Who Enter," My first thought is why and then I take that path. Some may call it stupidity, and they are not wrong. But to me I like to brush it off by saying, "I truly just want to find deeper understanding," whether I watch myself burn in the process or discover a new aspect of myself from the flames I was afraid of; even if it is blatantly obvious to everyone else. The hard way is my kind of flow it comes from me and my ability to adapt. It's a grace I've been given and to allign myself to what works for me . Who said the destination would be easy and without obstacles? Are you convicted or stubborn?

Whether it's relationships, lifestyles, career, spiritual or personal fulfillment that is your direction in which you flow. It's that aching sensation tugging at your heartstrings compelling you to it.

For myself Flow will resonate with me to learn from it and focus on the present moment. The cost of not being present determines all things.You can't afford to let distractions determine the outcome. To be present is to block out the noise and flow as your past, present and future all at once. It's just you and that one thing pulling at your heart, to FLOW NATURALLY otherwise you'll put on a front with a current that isn't yours and attract all the wrong things, because you're not being true to who you are. Who I am isn't my job, it isn't finding my identity in a relationship, it isn't projecting a facade of success..... It's finding my own defintion to happiness to make all the heartache life has thrown at me worth it. And you know you are never the same person at the end of the day if you Flow. To be everchanging.