Fibromyalgia

A DAY IN THE LIFE OF A WOMAN WITH FIBROMYALGIA

I open my eyes and realize straight away that I am awake.

I am in excruiating pain .The pain runs down all of the bones in my right leg from my hips to my feet..I feel overwhelmingly tired...even though I had fallen asleep at 2am and slept until 10.

I reach for the drawer next to the bed and rifle through my little fabric bags full of medications and painkillers..and pull out a couple of mersefyns.

I dont have a drink so I brace myself ,pull back the covers and slowly sit up.

I am now in pain all over my body.I grab my cane and push myself up from the bed and whince as I put my feet on the ground.

I start to walk and everystep feels like hell.My feet are cramped ,my ankle bones hurt and my acchilles feel like they have been torn off my feet.,and my legs just hurt.

I start to make my way towards the kitchen,and then I have a sudden urge to pee.So I go to the bathroom and sit down on the loo and wait for 5 mins until it finally happens.

Once again using my cane to push myself up I flush and wash my hands.and head back towards the loungeroom where my husband is on his phone playing a game.

I ask him to make me a coffee as I have to lye down again and he says ok.

I go back to bed and climb in. My heart is racing,my back has gone in to spasms,my whole body feels like there are a million ants running around inside me with hot torches stabbing me in every orriface and surface area of my body. My ears are ringing ,i feel nauseated and I start writing this piece on a word document..i was going to write something then I lost it...fibro fog is what im refering to..cant remember anything,Always keeping lists and writing down everything,losing track of what I am saying and completely forgetting what I am saying or just said,cant get words out,etc etc...

Typing this is making my hands and fingers hurt and I am STILL waiting for my coffee.Bloody phone games!

Ahh here it comes ..my hands need a break.Back later.

So I had my coffee read the news checked facebook and my emails...then start to sweat...im sooo hot. Overwhelming tiredness hits, so I lay back down and fall asleep.

Im woken by my son to say that breakfast will be ready soon...it is 1 pm! (its the weekend )..

im freezing..my feet are like iceblocks so I snuggle as much as I can and rub my feet together to try and warm them up.

I start writing this again while waiting for the food to be cooked by my hubby and 2 kids.

The mersefyn hasnt helped one bit.again its hurts need to stop writing again.

Breakfast was beautiful. Pineapple banana,bacon,egg and maple syrup on pancakes and another coffee. I grab my cane and slowly make my way outside to water my plants...they look really sad ..i had been in hospital for three days and they werent watered for me...grrrrr!

The house looks like its been robbed...stuff everywhere..i think my family enjoyed not having me there as they werent being asked to clean up! Well its going to happen today..

My stomach hurts ..My bowels are all over the place.sometimes im running sometimes it just doesnt happen..its the same with my bladder.

Pain in my stomach is bad and going down into my nether regions..heart is racing..have to lye down again.

After laying down for a couple of hrs watching youtube,i decided to go for a little 5 minute walk around the back yard to see how our fruit trees were growing..Our pear tree is nearly up to my shoulders now and our lemon and lime trees are getting taller and the backyard looks heaps better as my husband wizzes past me on the ride on shortening the grass that has produced really long grass in a couple of weeks.

The sunshine is beautiful and ive got a little vitamin d but my back and legs are killing me and my arms and legs are on fire so I go and have a chat with my daughter and son and ask them to do a couple of jobs. I delegate what they need to do then back to youtube for an hr.

I get up and fold a few clothes and put them away then the burning all over my body starts and I lay down to write this.

I used to feel like a burden (I still do on the odd occasion) but I am getting better at asking more of my hubby and kids.I cant do a lot anymore and it frustrates the shit out of me,and I hate looking at the house and seeing things that need to be done not getting done,

If I wasnt sick all the renos would be done and the house would be clean all the time as I would be able to do all those things and not expect so much out of my family.But on the plus side they are learning that everyone in the house has a responsibility to look after it if they live there and mum and dad cant be responsible for everything.They are also learning life skills like cooking and cleaning and household repairs and maintanence,and how to be smart with their money,

and they are learning empathy and compassion having a mum that sometimes needs help getting around ,or getting dressed .They push me around on my walker if the battery on my chair is flat,they get the chair in and out of the car.

As a mum I am still asked advice if we are doing things on certain days, if they can spend money on something (even though it is their money!) so in that respect I still feed needed and I know that I am the glue that holds the family together as i am the social planner,i am an equal in the shopping department (i struggle to do any shopping now so I do most of it online,or my husband does it on his way home from work or I take the kids and use my chair or walker and when it gets too much I just sit down and tell them what they need to buy) and when they want to know where things are kept in the house they ask me..sometimes multiple times for the same thing! I am also their taxi, driving teacher, cool mum (according to their friends),a cool auntie, a loved daughter and friend who would do anything for my family and friends ..even at the cost of my body.r

I really miss the old me.. i used to work 80 hr weeks as a courier and loved it. I was league champ at ten pin bowling. I loved going to the gym, swimming and zumba classes.

I used to take the kids on little adventures and throw them up on my shoulders and run around chasing them.

I used to be spontaneous (i still can be sometimes but it takes planning.

I used to love going out socialising,having dinner parties ,and going to events..I still do but as i said..sometimes.

I am not the flirtatious, vibrant wife that i used to be..im in bed a lot of the time but its for comfort reasons now and not really used for anything else..again sometimes..probably 1 percent of what it used to be like!

But i am a great mum, a loving daughter and sister, a cool auntie and loyal friend. I have a roof over my head ,food in my stomach,money in the bank and if i hadnt been through 14 operations, 3 car accidents,being knocked unconscious 5 times,been bullied and bashed at school for being cross eyed and having two horrendous pregnancies filled with nausea low blood pressure kidney infections and using a walking frame for oestitis pubis,and getting my year 12 certificate at age 32 (after losing my best friend and grandmother while doing year 12 and then having to work.) and bouts of anxiety and depression ,then i wouldnt be the strong resilient determined woman that i am today.

i am blessed,grateful and thankful for all the joys that i have in my life and my hope for a cure, or better pain relief is just a matter of trial and error and just like the tree above..i am beautiful,weathered and have a few scars and bruises but i will be ok.