FEELING LOST?

So often we just want things to be over

We want the disasters in our lives to stop

We just want to be loved and to endure the pain that is brought to us from that safe haven called our souls

But so often that is not the case

We do not feel safe

We feel unloved, lonely, abandoned, lost, disappointed, down, depressed, anxious, nervous, judged, given up on

Trapped

In our own realities

The ones we made

With the situations that we put ourselves in

So

then

why can't we get ourselves out

of this box

that we have put ourselves in

Here is why

Because as we were growing up we were given too much or given too little

We were never taught what to do or not to do

It was either done for us or nothing was done at all

Either side you're on

you are not stuck

you are just a little lost

And so here I am

breaking out of my lost and starting to,

or wanting to,

take control of my lost

take control of my imbalanced life

and get out of this loop,

this empty box that I have called 'HOME' for so long,

25 years to be exact

It has been lonely in here

Many nights have been cold and torturing

My spirit has not been fed because I was too busy being leeched on,

or rather allowing others to leech on me,

that I never really knew who I was

I never breathed into my own shell of a life

and into the depths of my own soul to figure out who I was

what this girl inside of me truly wanted

I have looked in mirrors and hated what I saw,

who I saw

I have cried in mirrors just to see my own agony

I have completely lost my mind to where I wanted to check myself into a hospital in hopes to not live crazy anymore

But there is no cure

except you

You are your savior

your own warrior

coming to your own rescue

to love and support yourself

to dive deeper into your lost trapped soul

to find better

to do better

to be better

So welcome

and I am so glad you came

SELF-AWARENESS

What does self-awareness mean to you?

The definition given by dictionary says that it is a

"conscious knowledge of one's own character, feelings, motives, and desires"

So how does this apply to you?

What does self-awareness look like?

Turn inward

If you do not like something, acknowledge that

If you do not want to do something, acknowledge that, say that

If you did something that was hurtful, inconsiderate, a little ruthless, acknowledge that, realize what you have done, and make conscious efforts to change that behavior

Turn inward and be aware of yourself

Your likes and dislikes

Your pet peeves

Your love languages

Your boundaries

Your favorite places to eat

Your moods and mood changes

It takes time, and we are constantly changing, which is why self-awareness is an everyday practice

JOURNALING

Do you have a hard time putting your emotions into words?

Do you not know how to really get your emotions across, or how to untangle them?

Do you have depression, anxiety, or feel alone and neglected at times?

Grab a pen and notebook, paper, index card, whatever, and write it out

Writing is a great way to just let your words flow out

No judgement

No confusion

And it releases all those built up emotions and words that you haven't been able to speak out loud

However, the next task is to read what you wrote back to yourself

It is interesting, getting lost in your own writing

You never know what words, emotions, or thoughts come out onto that paper

There are so many positives that journaling can bring you

Even guided journals with prompts, Gratitude journals, Goal journals, etc. Those are my favorite ones.

I have a guided Gratitude journal that allows me to reflect in the mornings and evenings about how I want my day to start, an affirmation for myself, how I will bring gratitude into my life, and in the evenings I reflect on how my day went, express how I felt, and give myself some positives to carry me to sleep

There are also 3 and 5 year journals which are cool because you can see your progress throughout the years

MEDITATION

There are too many videos, people, articles, etc. out there telling people how to meditate and what should be done, and all this other stuff

Meditation is an individual practice for yourself

It is a mind, body, and soul technique that brings self-awareness, self-reflection, your goals, your surroundings, your good and bad, together in one place only for you to concentrate on

Again, there are guided meditation, which are my favorite, or you can practice meditating on your own

On your own meditating requires an individual to really dig deep into themselves

Focus on specific things you want to reflect on, uncover about yourself, etc.

To only sit with yourself in peace and bring all of your attention and energy inward, using breathing exercises to guide your energy and mental state into a relaxed one

It takes much concentration, practice, and discipline to meditate on your own and gain the understandings

ROUTINE

Setting routines for yourselves is phenomenal and helps ease urgencies, anxiety, triggers, panic, and gives you space and time for you

Setting routines also require self-awareness and self-reflection

It allows you to slow down, maybe be more present, be in one space at one time, and brings things back to you

PUTTING YOURSELF FIRST

This should have been first on the list

This is one of the hardest things to do, but the most beneficial, and also guides you to all of the other practices above

It is something as simple as making yourself tea in the morning, doing a face mask instead of going out with friends

You do not have to jump right in to learning how to say no and yes, setting boundaries, etc. No

Putting yourself first is acknowledging what you want to do in the moments you want to do them

START SMALL

How I started:

I would tell myself good morning and then ask myself what I wanted to do this morning

I wanted to make some coffee and breakfast

I wanted to do a face mask and pamper myself a bit after a long day

I wanted to shut my phone off for some hours

I wanted to stay in instead of go out

I wanted to grab food at this place

It is all about dating yourself in a way

Starting to learn who you are as a person

What you like and don't like- and that is okay

What you want to do for your spirit at the moment-and that is okay

And then, all of a sudden, the self-worth, the boundaries, the valuing yourself will start to set in, and the rest will follow

Again though, putting yourself first/ dating yourself, should be an everyday occurrence, practice, action in your life as we are always changing and evolving

MINDSET IS EVERYTHING

Along with doing the practices above, work on feeding goodness into yourself

Use an expo marker and write yourself notes

Use post its

Index cards

Put affirmations on your fridge, microwave, computers

And remind yourself to take thing ONE DAY AT A TIME

When I started doing this little task two weeks ago, my whole life changed not exaggerating

I started stay in the day

No more skipping to what I needed to get, didn't have, wanted, all the stuff I needed to get done

NO

That would make me anxious and have mental breakdowns for days on end

I brought it all inward, and now stay in one day

BE PROUD OF YOURSELF AND CELEBRATE YOUR VICTORIES

It is great to hear it from others, but if you are like me and don't really have a supportive family and not many friends, then you do it yourself for yourself- and that is okay

Celebrate yourself

Tell yourself that you are proud of yourself

You did good today

Get yourself some ice cream when you've busted your ass all week and did more than you wanted too

Take a day to yourself, some self care, some self love

Acknowledge your goodness, your value, your strengths

Take pride in all you do for yourself

GRATITUDE

This has played a huge part in this new journey of my life

If you are like me, then this pandemic has stripped everything from you overnight and you have tried to get your new normal, but there isn't one

I have had to learn hard lessons throughout these past 4 months

I am a control freak with no control of anything right now

I have high functioning depression and anxiety during one of the worst mental health crisis in the U.S.

I am extremely independent

I leaned on no one for anything

ALL of these things have had to change---and it was all for the better

I have learned every single day, along with everything above, to always be grateful

COUNT MY BLESSINGS

Constantly remain grateful for what you do have, not what you don't

for my health

for my families health

that covid has not touched my family

i am willing

i am able

i am healthy

i am alive today

i have a roof over my head

i am sustained

i am maintained

i am blessed and grateful

you have a toothbrush, toothpaste, shoes on your feet, clothes on your back, food in your stomach, a means to get around

There is no easy out to this

Our lives have to be reshaped

and so do our perspectives

GET MOVING

Exercise is vital for the body, mind, and soul

Along with a healthy way of eating and getting mentally and spiritually in-tuned with yourself, moving your body, even for just 30 minutes a day, is a great way to clear the mind, remove some anxiety and stress, fight and overcome a depression that is taking over, remove yourself from negative situations and mindsets, and more

Jumprope

Walk

Jog/Run

HIIT workouts

Yoga

And during COVID-19 there are tons on YouTube, FB, and IG

NO MORE EXCUSES

WE GOT TIME

I could break down some other:

SET BOUNDARIES

START SAYING NO

START SAYING YES

etc.

But honestly, those come with what is above.

Feeling lost in ourselves is a reflection on ourselves no one else

Turn the attention inward not outward

It is not about what others can do for you but for what you can do for yourself

If you put in the time for you, to self reflect, to acknowledge yourself, to build a routine, to check in with yourself daily, the rest follows