Familiarity: A Hindrance to Healing

"Leave your spirit genocide, the cancer you won't remove."

This iconic line by Jeff Buckley from the song 'The Sky Is A Landfill' keeps ringing in my head everyday. It makes me think about how so many of us consciously choose suffering over healing because it feels familiar and makes us feel safe. Familiarity is addictive, and even the most strong-willed people find it hard to let go.

A lot of us go down this destructive path despite knowing that it is full of landmines. The kind of landmines which are triggered not when you step on them, but when you step off.

I guess that's how it is with familiarity. Until the time you stay stagnant in this mental prison, you feel like you're doing fine despite not being in denial about your trauma or illness. Your mind somehow manipulates you (or maybe the other way round) into believing that is what normality feels like...this is how you're supposed to feel and this is where you're destined to stay forever.

The bars are invisible and you're holding onto them with a death grip. I'd be a hypocrite if I said that I have never done time in this prison.

The moment you step off and try to move forward, that's when havoc is wreaked in your mind. This is because you are entering an unfamiliar territory, the realm of recognition and action. The cruel feeling of uncertainty hits you, and it hits you hard. You panic. You feel afraid and directionless.

You feel like your existence is drenched in darkness, and the pricks from your past keep pinching your soul.

It's the first and probably the hardest step on the road to recovery. It's absolutely okay to feel like going back to the war zone where you've spent an eternity, but I've learnt it the hard way that it's so important to hold your ground at this point even if you're not moving forward.

Now that you've held your ground instead of letting it swallow you whole again, what comes next? How do you move forward?

Conscious action.

Taking this first step towards the exit sign is an act of immense courage, and going back to the fiery pits of suffering is not an answer.

Pain, discomfort and turbulence are essentially unavoidable components of life, but what matters is how we choose to endure and learn from them. I know you've heard this one before a million times from a million different people. Sometimes, the answer is right in front of you, but the process is monotonous so you tend to avoid it.

Taking conscious action towards making better choices, towards healing, towards the light are indicators that you value yourself and trust the process enough to lift a finger when you feel powerless, devoid of all strength and hope.

When you take conscious action, you are effectively rewiring your negative and limiting subconscious patterns, strand-by-strand.

I took the long and lonely road towards ascension, like we all do. After a downhill decade, I finally chose to embrace the hardships that appeared on my path to healing, rather than suffering while staying stagnant in the prison of pain.

Trust me when I say that there's light ahead. A new light, a comforting light. Trust me when I tell you that the journey towards healing is adventurous and full of adrenaline. It is not only a pathway to recovery, but also the road to self-discovery.

This is a journey where you get the chance to explore your mind, and subsequently your body everyday as you try to find your unique equilibrium between darkness and light.