Failing or Never Trying - Which Seems Worse?

You probably think 'never trying' is better. But the anxiety that comes before taking a risk often fools us into believing that failure is the worst possible outcome we can have for our efforts. It presents failure as a kind of threat to our reputation: in effect, a public declaration of our inadequacy. Yet, when viewed through the lens of long-term mental peace, our self-respect, and personal competence, never trying is far worse than failing.

For a start, failure is actually a temporary setback that preserves competence and potential. It is often sharp, acute, and painful, carrying the immediate emotional cost of disappointment, loss of momentum, and the temporary sting of a bruised ego. However, failure possesses a crucial characteristic that makes it bearable and ultimately constructive: it is finite, and we can move on from it to the next outcome.

It is a fact that when you try and then fail, you gain definitive information. You test your own limits against reality rather than living in the vacuum of continuous assumption. Even in defeat, the act of trying is firm movement towards  fulfilling your own potential. It reinforces your internal authority and belief because you made a conscious choice to step into the performance arena. Failure may alter your desired path, but it leaves your self-respect intact; you know that you did not shrink away from action out of fear. You are left with a resolution, a lesson, and the satisfaction of having risked something for what mattered to you.

The Nature of Never Trying

On the other hand, if you never actually try and just hide behind your fears, there is likely to be a slow erosion of your self-worth.

Never trying to achieve what you truly desire does not produce a sudden crisis. Instead, it creates a slow, agonising psychological decline. It is a choice encouraged by self-protection that gradually transforms into self-sabotage, without you even realising it.

When you refuse to try, you sentence yourself to a perpetual state of “What if?” You are kept feeling trapped in a reality defined by your fearful imagination regarding your ability, which relegates you to second-best through your continued hesitation: a consequence that can only get worse over time:

Never trying also allows you to protect a fragile ego by preserving the illusion that you could have succeeded, if only you had attempted it. But this comfort is a hollow one. Hiding behind your potential, yet never realising it, can only rob you of genuine accomplishment and good feelings.

Moreover, every time you shrink from taking a meaningful risk, you send a clear signal to your subconscious that you cannot trust yourself to handle adversity, or fight for your desires, which cements your perception of your own low esteem.

Worst still, while failure is an event that fades, as new choices are made, the regret of inaction is forever. It deprives you of the love, success, or growth you could have experienced, leaving you to look back on a life dictated by fear and regret rather than purpose.

The key difference between failing and never trying is that failure injures the ego, but inaction starves us of personal growth, and reduces our life quality. Fear can make us dread failing, and not getting everything we desire, but failure is always a result that can be improved. On the other hand, never trying yields no results whatever, and keeps us stuck.

In the end it means that, if you fail, you are accepting a temporary defeat in striving for growth. To never try is to voluntarily abandon your own responsibility for ensuring a better life. Ultimately, the sting of a failed attempt will heal, but the continuing grief of a life unlived only deprives you of self-belief, self-love and self-respect.

So which would you choose?