Extremes meet

All things in life follow the rule of "extremely opposite".

Jin Yong once wrote in "Books and Swords of Enmity and Enmity": "Love is not long, strong is humiliating, a modest gentleman, gentle as jade."

Young people do not understand the meaning of the sentence, and it is not easy to understand Fang Xiao's life.

In dealing with the world, if you are too shrewd in everything, you will be hurt.

If you use too much affection, the relationship will not last, and even affect your health.

Everywhere is good, and sooner or later bring shame on oneself.

A truly mature person, getting along with others, is modest and courteous; treats feelings just right; cultivates character and complements hardness and softness.

01

Wisdom will hurt

Zeng Guofan said: "You can't be too smart."

Zeng Guofan is a low-key person, knows how to restrain his edge, and never abuses his power for personal gain.

In the letter at home, he told his father that if something went wrong at home, he would rather suffer the loss himself than go to the yamen to file a lawsuit with others, lest others think that we are bullying others.

Due to his steadfast work and his duty as a man, Zeng Guofan's official career has skyrocketed. From the seventh-rank sesame official to the first-rank officer, he became the number one advisor in the late Qing Dynasty, saving the precarious Qing Dynasty time and time again. It is praised by history as "the three immortals of virtue and meritorious deeds, and a perfect person for the teacher and the leader."

And those who think they are extremely smart end up scarred and unhappy in the end.

During the Three Kingdoms period, Jiang Gan was eager for merit and underestimated Zhou Yu's talent.

Yang Xiu was proud of his talent and self-righteousness, which caused Cao Cao's jealousy, and finally died in Huang Quan.

In "A Dream of Red Mansions", Wang Xifeng tries to please her ancestor Jia's mother, and she is always on guard against other people's open and secret battles, and plans to kill Second Sister You. Jia's mansion was on the verge of collapse, and she also used the monthly money of her mother-in-law and maids to lend usury.

When the house was finally raided, a lot of gold and silver treasures were found out of the box in Wang Xifeng's room.

Wang Xifeng was too careful with calculations, and eventually ended up in ruins. It can be said that "the agency was too smart to calculate Qingqing's life."

Once people think they are smart, they will be impetuous and eager for quick success.

Huawei once had a new employee who graduated from Peking University. As soon as he arrived at Huawei, he wrote a "Wan Yan Letter" to Chairman Ren Zhengfei on various issues such as the company's business strategy and management mechanism. He thought he would be recognized and promoted. .

As a result, Ren Zhengfei instructed: "If this person is mentally ill, it is recommended to send him to the hospital for treatment, and if he is not sick, it is recommended to be dismissed."

A graduate who has no practical experience in the workplace will deny the rules formulated by the company for many years. This kind of cleverness without down-to-earth will only be self-defeating.

The highest realm of true wisdom is to be wise as ignorant, to know the world without being worldly, to be smooth and naive.

We don't need to be too shrewd with our friends. It is difficult to know oneself when everything is calculated.

Get along with family, too shrewd, will blame each other. Home is not a place to be reasonable, not to blame when things go wrong, and to be confused is the highest level of wisdom.

02

deep love

I like a sentence:

"Drink no more than six points drunk, eat no more than seven points full, and love someone no more than eight points."

If you love someone too deeply, miss you too much, and look forward to it too much, you will be exhausted, ignoring self-growth, and you will be exhausted, and this relationship will not last forever.

The best way to get along in a relationship is to be independent and grow together.

Psychology shows that when people like someone, they will continue to give hard, and after giving, they hope to get an equal response.

And the deeper the relationship and the more effort, the higher the expectation of getting a response.

Too much pursuit of vigorous feelings will often fail to withstand the test of firewood, rice, oil and salt in the end.

Writer Qiong Yao once said: "As long as the two are in love with each other, it doesn't matter if there is no light and no moon, but in marriage, you must be down-to-earth and share the joys and sorrows of your life with your lover."

I once saw a middle-aged woman complaining about life on the Internet.

For the sake of her husband and family, she voluntarily quit her job and went home to be a full-time wife, husband and child.

Because of the child, she gradually got out of the circle. In her daily life, except for her husband and children, she eats three meals a day. She lives her life carefully, and is so saved that she is reluctant to buy cosmetics.

But in the end, her mother-in-law disliked her and thought she was too lazy. Her husband also shouted at her, and the role of a wife has evolved into a nanny, and there is no sense of happiness in life.

Many feelings that go away when you walk are not loved too late, but more deeply loved.

"The moon will make a loss, and the water will overflow."

Isn't that the case with feelings?

The lover only loves eight points, and the remaining two points are won by the other party.

Only in this way can you not lose yourself when you have love, and not lose your life when no one loves you.

03

Strong is humiliating

As the saying goes: "The wood is beautiful in the forest, and the wind will destroy it."

A person is very strong everywhere, too public, and sooner or later brings humiliation to himself.

The heights are too cold, and you don’t have to be strong in everything. If you are too strong, you will be self-inflating and aggressive.

Zeng Guofan said: "The principle of being a person is to use both rigidity and softness, and we must not neglect it. Too softness will lead to slump, and too rigidity will easily break."

Only by combining rigidity and softness can you effectively protect yourself and then give full play to your talents.

During the Three Kingdoms period, the heroes were separated from each other. Before Emperor Xian of Han was abolished, Yuan Shu was too strong, overestimated his own strength, and took the lead in proclaiming himself emperor.

As a result, it was suppressed by the princes and finally defeated.

At the moment when a person passes away, recalling his life, how stupid the publicity used to be.

Lao Tzu said: "The highest good is like water. Water is good for all things and does not fight. It does what everyone hates, so it is almost the Tao."

It means that the beautiful quality is like water, nourishing all things but not competing with all things, not having the general knowledge of the world, and having the most gentle mind and bearing of the world.

If you are strong and help others, you will not be attacked if you do not cause others to envy.

The real power is not just the external power.

When Confucius was young, he consulted Laozi. Lao Tzu did not speak to Confucius, but only opened his mouth with all his teeth to let Confucius see.

The teeth are hard and the tongue is soft, but the tooth is gone and the tongue is still there.

Hard things fall because of their strength, and soft things exist because of their weakness.

Outward power is often illusory, but inner power is the real power.

The strong have their own strong hands, strong everywhere, big trees attract the wind, and life will be in trouble sooner or later.

Wisdom will be hurt, deep love will not last, and strong will be humiliated. Everything is too much, and it is enough to be a human being.

I hope that in the future, you will not be confused when you are smart, just right when you are affectionate, and neither humble nor arrogant when you are proud.