Expect Miracles part 3

I have seen the light at the end of the tunnel. I have had my biopsy and had more blood tests than I can count. I did not want to do any of them, how do you explain to someone that you know in your heart you are healthy and nothing is wrong. I was not worried or wondering if anything was wrong. I knew I had to do the tests for the doctor to say im in remission and everything is fine and when I heard that news in my mind all I said was thank you, thank you, thank you.

From the day I heard the news (that I had cancer) to today I know others would be so scared. Maybe I am very mentally strong and now I will say yes.

I clothed myself in positivity even though I felt every negative curveball thrown my way. My hair has grown and now I am on a new treatment plan where I am taking 10 ml of a drug called lenalidomide. Every month I have to do a pregnancy test because years ago this drug made deformed babies. Finding out that the drug costs over £3,000 I now see that if I was in another country where there is no research. I wouldn't be alive today.

My health app says I haven't been on my period in 84 days and I have no side effects apart from feeling hot and cold randomly all day.

I sleep with the window open and I know that this too shall pass when I think of everything that I have to go through to be incomplete recovery from my stem cell. My rebirth means that the new cells they put in me need to make friends with the other cells, Science is truly amazing.

This time last year I was in hospital and I remember face- timing my dad on his birthday. This year I planned a surprise party for him and I invited all my parent's friends and put them all in one room together. life is so short and I want to make the most of it every day. However every day is not a chance to overdo it and burn yourself out, every day is a chance to open your eyes and see the glitter that is what you hold, what is gold to you? what is worth more than treasure to you?

My five-year journal asked me. What is missing in your life? and I then looked at it and saw that its a trick question. There is nothing missing in my life because in order for me to love myself I have to love all the horrendous things that happened to me. What if everything that made you fall down has made you learn lessons that someone else is still trying to work out every day. Don't go looking for missing pieces of the puzzles that are not missing you just haven't turned them around enough times to see that piece is there. It's just the wrong shape and the wrong colour because it goes at the bottom of the puzzle where you are meant to pick it up later. trust that that piece will take time. Miracles take time to form and become more amazing.

Don't stress over something that can be fixed with time naturally. There are lots of things in my life that I feel can only be fixed with time. Good health can be fixed with a good diet over time. I healed my back by brushing my teeth in the shower which healed on its own over time. I healed my mindset by reading and reading and highlighting what I wanted to come out of my mouth over time. I'm grateful to say I am cancer-free because I wrote that down and it really happened over time. Once I had written down what I really wanted time flew by me before my eyes.

What will you write down today and shut the book meaning that you will make a miracle come true by letting go of the time you think it should happen in.

Before the ticking clock made me nervous but now I hear the ticking clock producing even more miracles on the way.

If life is a gift then I want to celebrate it, sit in it, and swim in it. Every grain of sand in an hourglass is a grain of glitter that someone else does not have.

While you thought that your grains of sand were not good enough over time you will want all of those grains of sand back and once they go through that piece of glass they are gone. So please treasure this time and awaken to the beauty of everything you see for I know so many people did not make it out of the hospital ward I walked out of.

With meditation, gratitude, and an open heart I want others to know that your health is important, miracles are important, eating well and all the usual things we hear all the time are crucial because you are valued and miracles are being put on the clock or the puzzle that you haven't finished yet.

If you enjoyed this blog, or it moved you in any way please let me know and message me on Instagram @yessicaxjessica please do follow my tortoise @sirrbrutus_ and if you could leave a tip I would be so grateful.

For more of my writing please look out for my book coming out in March 2022.

Love Jessica