Don’t Seek Goals, Seek Yourself

Before I delve into my usual musings, let me assign you your first homework for the year. Can you list your top 5 goals for 2025?

There is a famous maxim that says, “Birds of the same feather flock together.” Not only have I heard this saying, but I have also witnessed a flock of birds meandering through thin blades of cirrus clouds and uniformly landing on a marshy pond to feed on water lilies. Likewise, people flock with those whom they resonate with the most. This is because we belong to cultures, families, and communities. No man is an island, right?

The good thing about being part of a group is that when the pride of lions attacks, we can collectively defend ourselves. We use our unique skills to manage the situation. After the victory we dance in the rain, then we enjoy the lion’s meat around the fire.

The downside is that vegans and vegetarians cannot excuse themselves. This is because the norms of the group mask the individuality in you. In other words, popularity is a direct product of social unity. We do it because this is what is done here and this is what everyone else is doing. Don’t be a weirdo they say.

When you seek goals, you are more likely to follow the flock. This is because each group, culture, or society defines what should be considered acceptable goals. I am not saying they are wrong, nor am I saying they are right. What I am saying is that the goals you have been obsessed with might not be yours; they might not be you. Maybe, just maybe, this is why you have never achieved them. The "why" is not personal enough to get you chasing them?

I suggest that the only way to know what is uniquely you and yours is for you to find yourself. The moment you start seeking goals, what will come first to your mind is what is familiar to you, which is what the flock around you has been preaching. We are, at least most of us, creatures that like to conform. Either we do it consciously or not, but “do as Pete does” is our maxim.

I am saying this with no judgment, but this is what most of us know. In most cases, the road less traveled is very thin, dark, narrow, long, and boring. Not everyone knows about it, and most of those who do are not willing to take it. Those who took it never kiss and tell. If you can take anything from what I am saying, it is this—try the road less traveled. Do self-introspection before you jot down your goals for the year. I am not saying setting goals is not important; what I am saying is that setting goals is secondary to self-introspection. When you seek yourself first, you might be surprised how often you have been chasing other people’s goals.

If you are a good student and completed the task above, I am willing to bet that you have at least two of the following goals on your list: Financial freedom, mental and physical health, promotion or a new job, education, new relationships, more income, traveling, diet, and gym. Again, there is absolutely nothing wrong with these goals, but it is very crucial that you find yourself first. You might discover that you love petting dogs more than being a millionaire. Maybe taming lions is what you were born to do. Your brain, however, has adapted to the normal goals that are set for everyone in the community.

If you have already started the goals list, I suggest shrinking it. Next time you’re in the smallest room in your house, it will come in handy. Wink, wink.