Do You Feel Stupid Because You Don't Have A Life's Purpose?

You're probably going to think I am pathetic. That I am a loser or an idiot and maybe you are right. But I'm going to be brave and share how I wasted my life searching for my purpose.

For years I was envious of people who could stand up and declare they had a life's purpose.

I desperately wanted one.

I wanted to experience that smug sense of satisfaction that people with one seemed to enjoy. How I ached to feel the certainty that I was fulfilling my purpose on earth. I felt pathetic without one. Somehow inferior.

Yep! it's my life's purpose!

I wanted to scream those words at the top of my voice and smile that self satisfying smile of superiority. The one that says 'I'm special because I have a life's purpose.'

I tried for years to find one. I had a couple of potentials but they fizzled out into nothing. It was gut wrenching when they failed. I persisted. I read books. I followed gurus. I got the T-shirt and the hat. I got everything but a life's purpose.

As the years passed I gave up hope of finding my true purpose but then I started to notice a strange thing. I couldn't believe it. People who had smugly declared they had a life's purpose had now lost it.

It turned out their life's purpose was nothing more than a fleeting romance. A mere infatuation. A muse to keep them occupied and make them sound important. Having grown bored of their life's purpose they moved onto their next new life's purpose.

Redefining Life's Purpose

I was forced to reconsider what it means to have a life's purpose. 

I'm going to be bold, you wont like it because it rocks the boat. I'm going to suggest it's time for a revamp of how we define Life's purpose. I'm going to suggest we should view it like a job and accept that a life's purpose is not always for life. Sometimes it changes as we change. Controversial I know but hey times are changing. Pretty soon we will all be living in the meta verse or climate change will have destroyed us.  

 If you are hell bent on finding your life's purpose here's what I learned:

3 Common Traits

It seems to me that people with a "purpose" have at least 3 things in common which led them to "develop" their purpose. They're going to seem stupid and obvious so don't hate me for calling them out.

1. They decide they like a subject.

2. They have curiosity and want to know more about the subject.

3. They make a decision to continue learning and studying the same subject.

That's it! Some people will declare they have a life's purpose right from the get go. They shout it from the roof tops and want everyone to know. For others it's completely the opposite. Their purpose grows as they become more familiar and interested in a subject. The more they learn the more connected they feel. Which brings me to a really important point.

Love what you do!

People who have a life's purpose love what they do.

If you want a life's purpose it seems it's easy to get one.

To start with all you have to do is follow the three steps above: Like something, get curious and stick with it.

What to do when you can't find something you like.

I am going to say something you don't want to hear and you are probably going to get annoyed with me.

It's going to sound trite and cliched but it's also going to be true, which is why you are going to hate me for calling it out.

If you are struggling to find something you like then try this:

Love yourself.

I told you that it was cliched. I warned you that you wouldn't like it. I know it's not what you wanted to hear. I wanted to be fair to you.

It seems like until you learn how to love yourself you are not ready to love anything else. When you love yourself, not in a narcissistic ego way as in "I am the best". But in a genuine caring way. One that expresses gratitude for the amazing body you have. The many gifts you are blessed with, sight, touch, smell. Your wonderful loving heart.

When you experience that deep sense of connection to every part of you, then you can wear that smug smile. The smile that says "I have found my life's purpose."

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