Do You Feel Guilty of Staying Happy?

All my life since childhood I’ve heard from different kinds of people that if you laugh too much you will always end up crying. This statement impacted my subconscious mind so much that I personally felt that I had to always earn my share of happiness. So even if I was genuinely happy for no reason, I had to double-check two things: -

a) Have I worked hard to deserve my current state of happiness?

b) Had I been sad for too long to finally be this happy?

If things were going smooth for me, I would always have this doubt if something was gonna go wrong.

I wanted to know if there was somebody like me and I realised I was not the only one with this mindset. In fact, it was common among my peer groups as well. For some people it is different. They have this belief that after experiencing a prolonged period of sadness it’s alright to be happy. So, in order to be happy, they have to first be sad. And then it would be okay to have fun. But this thought gets ingrained in their minds so deeply that experiencing happiness after staying sad is too much for them that they would choose pain over happiness.

And then there are others who do not showcase their emotions for they want to be taken seriously. There are people who do not prefer to laugh wholeheartedly and believe that crying is a sign of weakness. I personally believe that it is the inability to cry when you really want to as the real sign of weakness. Because that’s when people resort to inflicting self-harm to make the pain tangible. The key is to not take happiness for granted. I have listed down five reasons responsible for making people guilty of happiness.

1. Postponement of Plans

Happiness is meant for retirement age. That is the outlook which most people have. Sometimes people have set plans to do things by the time they reach a certain age. They’ll postpone any moments of happiness. They are ready to work hard for the future and therefore they conveniently forget about the present.

They believe that they can only be happy once they have carried out all forms of responsibilities for that’s when they believe they have truly earned their share of happiness. It always amazes me when people have magnificent plans for the future when they have no clue on how to live in the present. Happiness does not come with an expiry date and it’s not something that can be attained only after achieving certain goals.

2. Irrational self -beliefs

How I can stay happy when others around me are not? People judge others when they move on too quickly from certain situations such as death, post-traumatic experiences etc. Fearing what others might say pursuit of happiness is considered as the last option or sometimes may not even be considered as an option.

The same people who judge you for moving on will also pass rash comments when you do not move on. Happiness does not lie at the mercy of the opinion of others. It is solely a personal decision and does on rely on outside opinion.

3. Influence of social media

Often, social media erupts with pictures of happy people and how they go about their happy lives. This often creates a sense of insecurity among people which makes them doubt their happy moments. People compare their moments of joy to those seen on social media platforms and come to the conclusion that unless they lead similar lives, they can’t be truly happy.

This leaves you feeling empty and wanting for more, even when happiness is around you. It is high time people realise that all that glitters is not gold and whatever you see on social media is not always true. Happiness is relative and different for different people.

4. Wrong social circles

Sometimes it may not be you. Do a quick analysis of the people you surround yourself with and check their reactions when you are happy. Do they encourage you to stay happy or do they look down on you when you flaunt your moments of happiness? To have a positive mindset it’s imperative that you have the right kind of people around you who send out positive vibes and whose intentions do not hamper your growth.

5. Happiness is not a person or even materialistic.

If you feel that your source of happiness comes from a person or if it is attached to a particular product, you’re terribly mistaken. Such definitions are wrong and such moments do not last forever. Happiness should come from within and it is not dependent upon anyone but your own self.

6 ways to get rid of your guilt of finding your own happiness?

It’s not easy to get rid of your guilt of finding your own happiness. However, if you try to do these small things in life perhaps you have a high probability of getting rid of your guilt of finding happiness.

1. Find out who you are and what makes you happy.

Engage in those activities which put a smile on your face. Try doing simple activities such as walking your dog, watering your plants in the garden or spend quality time with your friends and family.

2. Find out the basic reason which makes you feel guilty of happiness and work on it.

Many people have different reasons for refraining from happiness. Thus, for each individual, the reason may vary. Sometimes it could be the conditioning you received since childhood that too much happiness is bad or maybe something else. Only you know what’s holding you back. Find out those reasons and work on it. Remember it’s never too late to pursue happiness in life.

3. Open up

You can’t enjoy life if you shut down your walls and turn to yourself for everything. To truly feel things, you have to take the leap, lower your guards and start trusting people. Take each step slowly and finally, you will get there.

4. Change in perspective

Sometimes a simple change of perspective will help you find more happiness in life. Try to think positively and get rid of all the irrational beliefs plaguing your efforts to attain joy and happiness.

5. Keep away from negativity and any kind of unwanted vibes

In order to attain true happiness, it is important to get rid of negative vibes and focus on what’s good. It is not always possible to clear past all kinds of negativity in life. But make it a point to not let it affect you. Believe in yourself and work hard. Once you find inner strength you will find yourself wading past all kinds of negative vibes in life.

6. Be kind

Happiness is in giving. The best thing you can give another person is your time. It could be a friend or a relative who needs your presence and if you could do that for them you will definitely feel happier than before. Use kindness as a defense mechanism to tackle any guilt of feeling happy.

End note

I believe more than what others might say it is our own beliefs that shape our happiness. Just like it is said that that we have the power to create our destiny we have the power to create happiness as well. It’s not something to be afraid of or to be postponed. You are responsible for your own happiness. Accept it. Embrace it and go on to lead a happy life.