Do something for someone

I’ve always had this habit. Where I would help people from the sidelines. It was safe. It meant that I could boost my reputation without any fear of it getting damaged. I was in a perfect place of no risk and all the reward, however one day I realized how much of an excuse that was. I had become an underachiever in fear of not being good enough and suddenly it clicked. Not all at once it took time. It took three days on a project and trying my absolute best on something. My actual best.

I acted in my first short film. It started with me saying I’d help my sister and her friend with it and suddenly I'm acting. My plan was to just give advice to the original actor and it would be fine but then there I was in the center of it all. I had the pressure of the world. My sister had already said how great I was at memorizing and being dramatic, when I had never done anything like it. My reputation was on the line. At that point, I could not let my sister and her friend down. However just when that pressure was enough I had exactly two days to learn all my lines and shoot in a small six hour period. I had to be as close to perfect as I could be.

The thing was I knew nothing about acting and I am an avid procrastinator.

I thought it was over for me and then I learned something.

I, like many my age, have grown up in a world with as much hope as there is pain and confusion. In a western world post 9/11. A world broken and freed by technology and globalization. A world where people are trying so desperately to cling on some form of identity they would risk anything for it. A world just welcoming enough you can be whoever you want, if you are willing to do the dirty work, but it sadly isn’t that easy. It sadly is far more complicated then just, "Work Hard!"

As many find out pretty early, a world with an infinite amount of choices is not freeing, it is harrowing. The Paradox of choice is the very thing that grips our lives. The modern person is faced with an uncountable amount of decisions and in a perfect world that would mean freedom but the paradox of choice says the complete opposite. When faced with too many choices, we are less happy, less fulfilled and even paralyzed by it. It’s not surprising tiny house living and minimalism has become so popular. Two things that cut out major sections of decision making.

However for those who don’t want to subscribe to such drastic changes in life they are still faced with an existential crisis. How to fight paralysis? Now you might not even realize you have been paralyzed, “I have a job” “I go to school” you might say. But how much of your life is truly made up of your decisions. How many hours are laced with procrastination? How many decisions were made because of circumstance and pressure? I would bet more than you can count.

The thing about paralysis, isn’t that you can’t make decisions, you just make the easiest ones. We are creatures of habit and habit theory is very clear on the fact given the opportunity we will return to the same thing over and over again. So let's say you’ve grown up in a world where dopamine is at your fingertips and most of your decisions have been made by someone else. You will go back to those two situations over and over again. You will procrastinate and will follow those with authority, so you don’t get that promotion and just float through school.

Now this all might seem like an uphill battle, however that is not the case. All this tells us is that our minds are simple, they follow certain patterns that luckily for us have been heavily documented. Psychology is the tool that can get everyone’s lives in order and the fuel is social obligation.

Peer pressure, the same thing that got you into school and into the workforce, the same thing that probably also got you drinking and smoking. Social pressure is the driving force of all things good and bad. It’s what starts riots and peaceful protests. It stopped Apartheid in South Africa and it’s going to get your lazy bones to do that thing you always wanted. Now all you gotta do is do something for someone and i'm not talking about strangers or acquaintances. I’m talking about people you have extensive rapport with, people that if you fail will damage your reputation.

It’s the type of fear that grips you, that forces you to focus on that and only that, cause if you don’t who you are comes into question. In a world where identity is constantly in question what else can you do. So you do it. You put time and effort into a project, into a favor, into a close friend and suddenly things get a little clearer.. You suddenly realize that you can do what you put your mind to. Suddenly all those dreams you had become a little more viable. You force yourself into a situation where you can’t make excuses anymore and the distractions become a little harder to indulge. Then you learn something.