Do I Stay or Do I Go?

“You’re still making those videos on SeeTube, Tiger?” Felicity whispers to her whilst closing the bedroom door. She has her hands full with snacks after going downstairs to restock for their movie night. Tiger has also had her hands full since arriving at Felicity's an hour ago. Seemingly, she can’t seem to stay off her cell-phone.

A recorded audio from one of Tiger’s “vlogs” replays over and over.

Tiger briefly looks up towards her friend.

“Huh? Oh, yeah. I’m editing this vlog I made yesterday on KnickKnock when I went for one of my walks near Aquinnah’s Lighthouse.”

Felicity chewing with a full mouth of Doritos, smiles warmly. “You still hang around there?” she garbles.

“Yeah, of course. That’s just a tradition that I’ll never seem to break out of.” Tiger replies as her eyes remain glued to her screen.

“Well, whenever you’re ready to start the movie, just let me know,” Felicity picks up her cell-phone and starts to scroll through her social media.

Light pop music plays in the background of Felicity’s bedroom. The murmured conversations of her parent’s and younger brother bustle through the floor underneath.

A moment passes before Felicity jumps up from her desk, spilling all her chips from her bowl onto the floor.

“Oh my god, Felicity! Your floor is a mess!” Tiger yells, finally putting her phone down to help pick up the bright orange chips from Felicity’s carpet.

“Forget about them, Tiger! Isn’t this your video on KnickKnock?” Felicity asks while shoving her cell-phone into Tiger’s face.

Tiger backs away a few inches to get a better look and pauses.

Her mouth drops with widened eyes, slowly meeting Felicity’s - filled with energy and excitement.

“...Uh, yes. It is.” Tiger finally responds.

“Holy shit, Tiger! That’s 100,000 people! 100,000 people saw your vlog! Aren’t you fucking happy?!” Felicity shouts.

Tiger, always being the more introverted one of the friendship, remains crouched on the white carpet; now stained orange from the spilled chips, and continues to stare into space with sheer awe.

“I-I’m shocked, I have no idea what to do.” Tiger says.

“Oh my god, Tiger, can you get any more monotonous?! This is what you’ve been waiting for isn’t it? I mean isn’t that why anybody makes content nowadays? To get views and a following?”

“Yeah, for sure!” Tiger finally chimes in. “But, I-I… I just never expected for it to ACTUALLY happen.”

“Well, it happened. Because this is definitely your account, and that is definitely your video.”

Tiger finishes picking up the Doritos from Felicity’s carpet and throws them in the trash.

“I hit 100,000 views. . .” Tiger whispers,

Felicity looks at her with frazzled eyes, “No shit! Dude you should be jumping with joy!”

Tiger smiles at her and laughs lightly. “I love you, Lis.”

Felicity gives her friend a giant bear hug, “I love you, too! Let’s go downstairs and tell everyone!”

________________________________________

The next day at home, Tiger relaxes on her bed while listening to music. She’s already told everyone in her family about hitting 100,000+ views now on one of her KnickKnock videos.

“That’s fantastic, honey!”

“Does this mean you’re going to start getting paid a lot of money?”

“Are you famous now?”

These were just some of the responses that Tiger heard from her family members last night after returning from Felicity’s.

Bing! Tiger’s phone vibrates from her night dresser next to her bed.

“Hey! I love this song, who's interrupting?” Tiger says enthused.

She picks up her phone to see a new email notification from Rosay Management.

“Rosay Management? What the hell?”

Dear Tiger Vase,

It’s with much joy and enthusiasm that we’d like to offer you a secure contract with the Rosay Management team, to collaborate and create content through several social media platforms alongside the one and only, Letta Rose.

If you are not familiar with Letta’s platform, she is known for her fashion and beauty tutorials on SeeTube and her daily vlogs on KnickKnock where she’s collaborated with other well-known creators to showcase her daily life as a content creator whilst enjoying the fast-paced energy of social media trends.

Letta has requested for us to reach out personally after viewing your “A Day in the Life of Nature” KnickKnock video that gained a lot of traction overnight. Letta herself has commented on your video:

“This is awesome! Hiking is one of my favorite things to do. You seem so down-to-earth.”

If you haven’t already seen this comment, please be sure to check out your video once more.

We would love to hear from you at your earliest convenience in regards to this fully-funded offer.

Sincerely,

The Rosay Management Team

Tiger stares at her screen with an open jaw.

“This has to be fucking spam mail, there’s no way Letta’s team reached out to me over one video?!”

Tiger remembers that they mentioned Letta commenting on her video. She exits her email app to switch over to KnickKnock where there, she finds thousands of notifications continuing to pour through over her nature hiking video.

While sifting through her comments, she finally lands on Letta’s comment, and reads verbatim what her team mentioned she did.

“Holy shit,”

Tiger puts down her phone to reflect to herself,

“That is a verified creator, dude. . .how the hell is this happening right now?”

A knock at her bedroom door interrupts her train of thought, Tiger’s head turns:

“Come in!”

In walks Tiger's older sister, Tina.

Tina, Tiger, and their parents have always been a solid unit, but that doesn’t mean their family is anywhere near perfect.

Both Tina and Tiger decided to spend time at home saving money instead of going to college like everyone else their age. Both of them are in their 20s with highly creative minds hoping to gain traction in their own niches on social media.

Tiger has always been the earthy, quiet and animal-loving little sister while Tina was always the glamorous, materialistic beauty queen.

“Were you talking to yourself?” Tina questions snarkingly.

Tiger rolls her eyes, “Yeah, so what?”

“Nothing, you just always do that. It’s weird.”

“It helps me think, Tina. Now, what do you want?” Tiger asks - her patience tested.

“I just wanted to congratulate you again on your popping video, it’s not all the time that something like that happens,”

“Yeah, well it kind of does Tina - literally thousands of creators are on SeeTube and KnickKnock, who get just as much, if not, MORE likes and views everyday.”

Tiger’s attitude is heightened, her sister has always had a way of being passive-aggressive with her.

“Jesus, chill out Tiger. What were you talking to yourself about before I walked in?”

Tina changes her tone to a lighter affect, hoping her sister will open up to her.

Tiger looks at her sister hesitantly.

Tina rolls her eyes, “Just tell me, you know you can’t keep it in forever.”

Tiger sighs, “Letta Rose wants me to collaborate with her. For good. She wants me to move to Los Angeles.”

Tina’s mouth drops, “What! say swear to God.”

Tiger,still annoyed, “Tina, I swear to God, why would I make this up? Here, read the email.” She passes her phone to her sister.

Tina chuckles with excitement, “Holy shit. Is this legitimate though?”

“I think so. I checked my video and she actually did comment saying those exact words.”

Tina’s skepticism kicks in, “Hm, I don’t know. I wouldn’t believe it until I heard it from Letta herself.” Tina hands the phone back to her sister.

“Anyways, come down for dinner. Mom made her chicken soup.”

“Wow. What a way with words she has,” Tiger says to herself sarcastically.

.

She’s right though, hearing this from Letta would solidify all my doubts about this offer.

This is a lot to take in. What would my parents even think about me moving across the country to live near someone I hardly know?

Tiger pauses her music and walks nervously downstairs for dinner.

“Tiger, you got an offer from some super star in hollywood?” Tiger’s dad asks.

She shoots Tina a dirty glance, “Are you serious, Tina? Why would you tell them before me?”

“What’s the big deal?” She responds dramatically.

Tiger’s mom interjects before Tiger can respond, “Okay, enough. Let’s all sit down and eat first before we talk about an offer from some star.”

Tiger’s annoyance runs through the roof, she rolls her eyes as she sits down at the table where her bowl of chicken noodle soup steams.

The table grows quiet with tension as the four family members blow at their bowls.

Tiger breaks the silence, “I don’t know if it’s legitimate yet. I want to talk to Letta before answering or even considering the offer.”

“That’s quite the offer, Tiger.” her dad retorts.

“Yeah, you’d be moving across the country to be around people you don’t even know.” her mom chimes in.

Knew it.

“I know, but I mean. . .this is what I’ve been working towards. I didn’t go to college for a reason, guys. I want this to be my work.”

Her parents shoot a glance at each other.

“What?” Tiger asks, her patience completely gone at this point.

“Tiger, calm down. We’re just skeptical is all. You say you want to talk to this Letta girl before anything, then I think that’s a smart idea.”

Tiger stands up from the table and grabs her jacket from the living room couch.

“I’m going out.”

“Where are you going? You didn’t even finish your soup?” Her mom asks gently.

Tina, chiming before Tiger can get out her response, “Guys, where does she always go?”, she hints to them.

Tiger shakes her head and doesn’t look back. She heads towards the front door in silence.

“Be safe, Tiger!” She hears her mother yell from a distance.

________________________________________

It’s mid-winter in Boston. Tiger and her family grew up near Martha’s vineyard. One of her favorite spots since she was a kid was Aquinnah’s Lighthouse. She loved walking the coast even during the winter seasons.

Tiger’s dad would have a fun way of “letting out the steam” from the many feuds shared between Tiger and Tina.

“Dad! Tina is picking on me again! It’s not fair Dad! I hate her!”

“She’s lying, Dad. She’s being a cry-baby like always.”

“Okay, enough from the both of you. How’s we go for a walk by Aquinnah’s?”

Tiger wipes the tears from her cheeks and softly nods.

Tina rolls her eyes and looks away, “Whatever.”

“You know, girls, there will be times where you won’t get along, and that’s okay. Life will treat you the same in many ways - it won’t necessarily show up as your sister who you seem to can’t get along with either. . . it could be a difficult boss, or troublesome partner, and one thing I need you girls to understand about any conflict that may approach you in your lives is that it doesn’t matter who or what it is - don’t ever let it discourage you from coming back to yourselves.”

“What do you mean, Dad? We never left ourselves?”

“What I mean, Tiger, is that sometimes we get lost without even noticing. Sometimes we get so angry at someone that that anger we feel can last a week, a month and even years if we don’t know how to temper ourselves.”

Tiger looks out the car window.

“We’re here, Dad! Let’s go already,” Tina says hastily.

Their Dad chuckles patiently. “Alright, alright. Let’s go girls.”

________________________________________

Tiger walks along the coast of the Massachusetts Bay, her head lays low as the dark waves lightly crash next to her.

She sighs deeply, then remembers that she hasn’t emailed Rosay Management back yet.

“I should let them know that I’d prefer to speak to Letta herself before accepting any offer. . .”

Rosay Management Team,

First and foremost, I have to say how incredibly appreciative I am of this tremendous offer. I never would have thought that one of my KnickKnock videos would blow up, and to then receive an offer from one of SeeTube’s biggest creators, Letta Rose. My sister enjoys watching her beauty and fashion vlogs and I enjoy her personal vlogs of travel and adventure. You can rest assure, that I have in fact been a fan of Letta since discovering her content on SeeTube all those years ago. However, I must say that I simply cannot accept an offer as big as this one without speaking to Letta herself. It would bring my family and most importantly, myself, a lot of peace of mind to know that this offer is not in any way “fabricated”, or scam-like in any way. If Letta is willing to speak to me over the phone or through video-chat, I would be more than happy to give her my answer then.

Thank you,

Tiger Vase.

“Short and sweet,” Tiger whispers to herself, a chill runs down her spine as the wind begins to pick up.

“Man, I should start heading back soon before the temperature starts dropping.”

As Tiger turns to walk back the way she came, she finds her hair whirled and tangled from the wind, covering her face entirely.

“What the hell!”

Without her knowledge, she trips over her own feet and falls flatly on her face into the wet sand.

Tiger lifts her head slowly from the sand, a deep groan comes from her throat,

“pfft, pfft”

She spits the sand from her mouth and lifts herself slowly onto her knees.

“What a way to end a walk. . .”

Out of the peripheral, she sees a tan whitish blob perched on a boulder adjacent to where she crouches.

Tiger squints her eyes, “What is that over there?”

She rubs her eyes, making sure that any excess sand that may remain on her face is completely gone.

Tiger’s vision becomes more and more clear as the wind begins to settle.

The snow-covered trees in the distance sway slowly, the wind now completely dull.

Tiger gets up from her knees and takes two steps forward for a better look,

She lets out a gasp,

“It’s an owl.”

A white barn owl stands perched on a boulder. It locks eyes with Tiger and doesn’t move a muscle.

Tiger receives a riveting sensation running through her body, the wind picking up slightly now. The snow-covered trees swaying with vigor.

“This is. . .bizarre.”

A moment passes, and the owl suddenly takes flight to the skies. It heads towards the forests above the coast where the rocky cliffs of Aquinnah stand.

Tiger watches the owl leave and stands still for a moment’s pass.

“That was weird,” she whispers to herself.

________________________________________

Tiger returns home and closes the front door behind herself.

“Tiger! Is that you?” Her mom yells from the living room,

A distant sound of sirens and screeching tires come from the television.

They must be watching another thriller tonight.

“Yeah, it’s me. I’m heading to my room.”

“Alright, hon, I put your soup away in the fridge if you get hungry.”

Thanks, mom.

Tiger strips from her clothes and slips into her pajamas.

She sighs and lays down on her bed, her phone chimes from her jacket pocket that hangs from her desk chair.

Tiger groans, “Just as I was getting comfortable.”

She walks over to her phone and sees an email notification. Her fingers move quickly as she enters her phone’s passcode and is redirected to her email application.

“It’s an email from. . .Letta Rose.”

FWD: Tiger Vase Meeting

Hi Tiger!

My team sent over the email you replied to earlier today, and shortly put - yes. Let’s set up a time to chat over Boom. I’m ready whenever you are.

Xoxo, Letta.

Tiger stares at her screen for a few moments, “Well. . .that was quick.”

Her fingers dance over her screen, trying to find the words to say to the one and only, Letta Rose.

Letta,

Thanks for getting back to me so quickly! How’s tomorrow morning? Say, 10:30?

Tiger

Tiger taps her fingers on her work desk and stares at her cell-phone,

“Ugh. I should distract myself for a bit,”

As she stands from her desk chair, her phone chimes once more.

With a swiftness, she grabs her phone and sits back down.

Tiger,

10:30AM it is. Looking forward to it.

Letta.

“Oh man, this is starting to feel more and more real.”

________________________________________

The night turns into day.

It’s a still, silent day in Aquinnah, Massachusetts. Tiger wakes up out of her sleep with haste.

There is no time to waste.

Today would be the day where she would give her final answer to Letta Rose over video conference.

Her head spins with countless thoughts that seem to not even belong to her,

What would my mom and dad do if I choose to go? Will they be alright?

What will Tina think of me? Will she be jealous?

Am I good enough for LA? Is this really what I want to do?

Tiger runs cold water on her face from her bathroom faucet. This has always been a helpful technique to soothe her anxiety.

She sighs in relief.

“That’s better.”

A soft knock comes from the other side of the door. . .

“Hey, Tiger? That you, sweetheart?”

Tiger’s mom’s voice is hazy and light. She opens the door to her mother who stands in her notorious light-pink bathrobe that she often wears in the morning before fixing everyone their breakfast.

“Yes.” Tiger answers her mother as tiny water droplets continue to run down her face.

“Are you nervous, Tiger?”

Tiger shakes her head in agitation, “Of course I’m nervous mom, this is Letta Rose!”

Her mom pays no mind to her attitude. She knows her daughter well enough to see that this is simply her anxiety speaking. She remains calm and chooses to actively listen to her daughter’s concerns from the bathroom door.

Tiger sighs.

“I’m sorry. I am feeling nervous, scared, and so many other emotions. It’s just that. . . I’m worried about what you, Dad and Tina will think of me. I’m even worried about what other people will think of me in LA. Am I even good enough to be there?”

Her mom’s eyes welled up with tears.

In a soothing voice, “Oh, Tiger.”

She embraces her daughter into her arms and says,

“You bring so much light and value to our family, and to the world! Don’t you ever let yourself think otherwise. There is nothing you can do that will ever make us stop loving you.”

Tiger lets her tears run into her mother’s shoulder.

“Thank you, Mom. I really needed to hear that before the video conference.”

Her mom brushes off the tears from Tiger’s cheeks with her thumb and smiles at her gracefully..

“I’m sorry your favorite pink robe is tear-stained now.”

Tiger’s mom chuckles, “Oh, don’t worry about that, honey. It’s an old robe anyhow.”

Tiger softly laughs in return.

“I’m going to my room to prepare myself before she calls.”

“Okay, Tiger. We’ll be right downstairs if you need anything.”

________________________________________

Tiger sits in her desk chair nervously biting her fingernails. It’s a nasty habit she’s had since she was a kid, and only really ever comes up when she’s really anxious.

“It’s 10:35. . . why hasn’t she called?”

Tiger gets up to pace in her bedroom. She starts to worry that maybe she misunderstood the email and that it should have been her to initiate the call.

“I gave her my Boom username, but she never replied.”

She heads towards her phone where it stands upright against her portable vanity mirror.

The moment she picks up her phone, the generic Boom ringtone begins to chime through her phone.

Oh, thank God. What timing!

Tiger takes a deep, slow breath and hits the green “answer” button.

She sits down in her desk chair and adjusts her phone against her mirror once again while the call connects.

Finally, the black screen fades into a foreground that is Letta Rose, beauty guru; SeeTube vlogger, traveler and creator.

Letta seems to be in her own private office where pictures of her husband and son hang behind her. She has her photos framed in rose gold matching her desk’s miscellaneous items.

“Hello!” Letta chimes in. She is upbeat with high energy. Her makeup is done - flawless as ever. Her long black locks are braided into two french-palettes, and her nails manicured.

“Oh my God, I can’t believe it’s really you!” Tiger manages to choke out.

Letta lets out a boisterous laugh, “I get that, honestly, it is so tricky to tell what emails are real nowadays! I’m glad you decided to talk to me face-to-face. . . well sort of.”

Tiger laughs louder than usual.

Letta’s high energy seems to help her get out of her usual shy shell.

“Yeah, I just really needed to know if this offer was legitimate or not because well. . . like you said, it could have easily been written by anyone trying to impersonate you, but - I have to say, I am so happy that it’s real.”

“I’m really happy to hear that, Tiger. I can assure you that the contract still stands and is in fact fully-funded. I have a handful of other creators here in Los Angeles that work closely beside me and my team, we all make similar content online so we decided, why not work together?”

Tiger starts to hear her doubtful thoughts emerge, her heart quickens with anxiety as she struggles to swallow her own saliva,

“Honestly, Letta, this is an entire dream come true for me. . . I just - I feel so nervous. I have these doubts that make me question whether I am LA ‘material’.”

Letta responds to Tiger with grace and warmth, “Aw, Tiger. I hear you loud and clear. I’ll let you in on my own experience. I was in the exact same position you were, except I didn’t have somebody offer me anything, I had to work my tail to get my own company from the ground up - there were nights where I felt like quitting, simply because of how long it felt like my dreams were taking. Until one day, and this may sound crazy, but I saw this white barn owl when I still lived in southern New York - it had felt like it literally came out of nowhere on this one night where I decided to drive out to the countryside. This owl swooped out of the air and landed right in front of the road I had been driving on. Had I been driving any faster, I probably would have killed it! But, luckily I managed to stop before.”

Tiger stares at Letta in awe as she listens attentively to her story,

This cannot be real.

Letta continues, “The road I had been driving on had little to no traffic, so I decided I’d get out of my car and try to get closer to this owl that randomly stopped in front of my car out of nowhere. As I eased my steps in, closer and closer, the owl seemed to just stare into my soul, that was until I was probably 3 ft. away from it and then it suddenly flew off into the night sky.”

“I remember staring up at that sky that night, Tiger, and knowing that the owl had been an omen, a symbol if you will - it was telling me in one of my darkest and trying moments that I was in fact on the right path and that I would get everything that I’ve been working for. It wasn’t until a year later that I hit my first million subscribers on SeeTube and started my own company with Rosay Management. The discipline, the patience and the faith that I chose again and again all those nights and days before that year were not easy, but they were what made me stronger in the end. They proved to me that I was and am capable - that I am worthy and that I am appreciated, mainly because I proved it to myself! I finally believed it for myself - inside and out.”

Tigers eyes are soft with tears, she wipes at the corners of her eyes with the sleeve of her hoodie,

Letta lets out a light laugh, “Don’t cry for me, Tiger!”

Tiger smiles, “Oh, man. . .it’s just that, Letta, your story was exactly what I needed to hear. Thing is, I saw a white barn owl near the coast of where I live here in Massachusetts. I went for a walk after a heated moment with my family yesterday and saw this owl after I fell flat on my face on the shoreside of the beach.”

Letta gasps, “You’re kidding!”

“No, I swear on everything. I thought it was the most bizarre thing to happen to me in a while.”

“Tiger! That is a crazy coincidence!”

Tiger's eyes widen with emotion, “I know! My thoughts exactly.”

A moment of silence passes in between them,

Tiger breaks it and says, “I’ll do it, Letta. I’ll move to Los Angeles and work with you.”

Letta belts out another boisterous laugh and begins to clap with excitement, “Wooo!”

Tiger laughs along with her and nods.

“Tiger, I am so happy to hear you’ve decided to move forward with Rosay Management. How’s I email you the next steps and provide you with my personal phone number so that we can keep in touch during the transition of everything?”

Tiger nods defiantly, “Absolutely, that sounds perfect.”

“Awesome!” Letta chimes out,

Tiger interrupts,

“Oh, and Letta, before you go. . . Thank you. I mean it.”

Letta looks at Tiger, her aura bright and pure.

“Tiger, it is truly my pleasure. Talk to you soon!”

Tiger’s phone disconnects from the call.

She wipes her eyes some more with her hoodie and stares out the window where the February snow falls ever so gently.

“Oh - I have to go tell everyone!”

Tiger zips out her bedroom to tell her family the news downstairs. She leaves her phone perched on her mirror where her computer sits nearby with an idle loading screen.

What often is a rotating collage of generic stock photos, this time around the screen idles on a background of a white owl sitting in a snow-covered tree.