Detaching to Save Yourself

It’s not about not caring. It’s about prioritizing your caring. It's about separating yourself from toxicity. It’s about choosing what is truly important to you. It's about taking back control of your happiness.

Caring about the right things...

You're at that point where caring too much is affecting your happiness, taking your happiness. Something inside you is breaking, you're slowly dying inside. Always feeling like you're on the edge, sometimes tears, sometimes anger.

You feel unstable and out of control and you don't know how to stop it. You know something's wrong, but you don't know how to fix it. You don't know how to stop caring. Caring about people who claim to care about you. Caring about the things they say. Caring about what they think.

But, when you have to sacrifice your happiness because you care too much, something is wrong. When those who claim to care so much, can't see that they are hurting you more than they are helping you; something has to change.

You've spent too much time caring about the opinions of those that truly don't matter instead of the one that only matters.

The ones that try to tell you how to live your life—Who to be, what you should look like, what you should do, who you should be surrounded by. When, there is only one person that should be in control of that, you.

You've been putting your happiness in the hands of others. By allowing your emotions to be dependent on the words and actions of them. The opinions of others. You've given away the power that has always been yours.

If someone ever has to make someone else feel like nothing, so they can feel like something; that's them not you.

Your emotions and feelings belong to you and you alone. They are YOURS. Anyone that cannot listen, understand, and acknowledge them, cannot expect the same from you. No matter who they are. Respect goes both ways.

Anyone that invalidates your feelings and devalues your self worth in the process of trying to prove that they are right isn't someone that deserves to have any say in your life.

To those who try to fix you by using "tough love," how are you supposed to fix someone who you've helped break. Someone who isn't open to you because all you've done is cause them pain. All you've done is pointed out the wrong, been critical of every move they've made. Tough love is supposed to come from a place of love not a place of rightness. Being critical doesn't build someone up, it tears them down, strips away their walls making them smaller and smaller until they feel like nothing. Tough love means supporting someone in the ways that they need while telling them the things that they might not want to hear but need to hear. It means supporting them through the good and the bad, being realistic with them, but walking with them towards the light, moving them forward and reminding them of how far they've come. Being the voice of reason, approaching things with the right perspective and from a place of love and truly wanting to help which shouldn't come at the price of tearing them down in the process. True tough love doesn't leave someone in pieces feeling like an emotional wreck with tears streaming down their face.

Anyone that has to tear you down by attacking your self-esteem and self-worth to prove that they are right isn't worth your time. They don't deserve you or a place in your life.

When emotions are high, logic is low. And when emotions are high no one is really listening to each other, they just respond out of emotion. They repeat what they hear and not to what was actually said. They hear what they want to hear because they are are stuck in their own head and what they want to prove.

We've become reactive when we should be reflective. Responsive when we should be silent. Acting before we think.

We have so much power within ourselves until we believe that it is taken away from us. But in reality, we have given it away. No one can take anything away from you without you letting them. No one can make you feel any sort of way without you allowing yourself to feel that way. You've always been in control until somewhere along the line you decided to give that away. You've decided to let your emotions drive you, fuel you.

You can either control them or they can control you.

You allow yourself to fight and argue back when you don't need to. When most things that we fight and argue about aren't really worth it. They don't really matter. They aren't worth your energy or effort. They aren't worth how you feel after. They aren't worth the reaction.

People often want a reaction and when they don't get it, they don't know what to do. Because when you don't react how someone expects you to, it's a game changer.

You allow yourself to get too upset too easily. To be angered, to be triggered like a ticking time bomb. You let the little things set you off. You snap when you should have patience. You jump to conclusions when you should step back. You stay when you should leave. You try to prove things to people that you think you have to prove something to. You feed the fire when you should let it burn out.

You try to win by the only way you've ever known how, when a true winner doesn't need to prove anything to anyone.

You've been letting your emotions run rampant through you like a rollercoaster when all you want to be is steady, like a sailboat. But, what you forget is that, it's your choice. You're not delusional, you're not brain washed. You're not lost. You just have to take your power back. You have to choose your happiness above all else. You have to choose if you want to be a rollercoaster or a sailboat. You have to choose yourself.

It starts with detaching...

Detach from the emotions that have been in control of you, the ones that have taken control of you. You have to take your power back. Stop caring so much. About everything because that's how you lose your happiness, you give it away little by little to things that don't really matter. You have to decide that if something is gonna hurt you more than it is gonna help you, not to care.

There is a very big difference between hearing someone and understanding someone.

Detach from those toxic to you. Those who hurt you. Those who tear you down. Those who try to take your happiness. Remove yourself from the equation. Detachment is freedom.

Giving away your happiness is no way to live, having a rollercoaster running through you with no one at the wheel, caring too much about people who don't care about you. Leaving your happiness in the hands of others. Giving it away so freely when it should be something you covet and protect dearly.

Ceasing to care actually leads to you to becoming a more caring person because you will actually care a lot more about the things and people that do truly matter. You'll be able to give more care because you have more to give.

You can't control what others do and say, but you can control how you react. Focus on that. Ask yourself before your emotions take control.

Is it really worth getting upset over?

Is it worth my energy? Does it really matter, like honestly?

Is it worth sacrificing my happiness for?

And you'll realize that almost every time the answer will be no. Changing your mindset starts with changing your perspective to how you deal with negative emotions. Before you get upset or reactions and respond, ask yourself those questions. Tap into your empathetic side and consider the other side of the situation and what they might be going through or thinking.

Your happiness is your choice. Your emotions are in your control.

Reassess what truly matters. Listen to those who listen to you, truly listen. Know who you are, at your core. Be so confident in that, that nothing anyone says or does can change that. Know that the only opinion that should ever matter to you is yours. Surround yourself with those who will build you up instead of tear you down. Align your actions with your goals. Be mindful. Be self-aware. Trust the journey. Love yourself.

Be a better you, for you.

It’s so important to feel your emotions and be in touch with them, but that by no means means to get lost in them. Not ever let them consume you, control you or define you.

Channel the person you want to be by tapping into the version that is already in you. It's a process, it takes time to change. Acknowledge that and be patient with yourself.

Detaching doesn't mean losing. It's not about becoming disconnected. Less human or emotionless. It doesn't mean not caring or understanding others, because it actually does the opposite. It's caring less to care more. Saving your energy and emotions for the things and people that actually deserve it. Detaching an act of self love.

Detaching means letting go and making peace with the things that happen and are said without allowing them to affect you and your happiness.

It means taking back control of your happiness by taking back control of your emotions. Taking back your power. And deciding to never let anyone else have that. Learning to detach is learning to free yourself. Finding peace and saving yourself.

Nothing can upset you and take your happiness away unless you allow it.

Feel, but don’t hold on. Be in touch, be one but remember that you are in control.

Your happiness should come from an internal place, never dependent on external factors. When it does, that's when you will truly feel at peace and at one with your emotions.