Dear Me,

This is to the girl who is sprawled out on her child-hood bedroom floor. The girl whose world feels like it’s shattering apart. To the girl avoiding her full-length mirror because your face is covered in tears, and your eyes are blood shot. You’re staring up at that old ceiling, praying that it would just crash on top of you. You’re laying in that spot you always do when your world feels so out of control. That spot right at the foot of the bed. The one that has collected so many of your tears and caught your knees every time they hit the floor. That spot that always supported you when you felt as if no one else would. The wool carpet is itching your arms and the back of your neck like it always does.

I remember that pain that you are feeling. Your chest hurts, that large lump in your throat. Your eyes are burning and your stomach is in knots. You haven’t eaten in days, but the slightest thought of food makes you feel sick. Oh, but your thoughts, right? That part is the worst. It’s the first time you’ve been able to decompress, so all the emotions are hitting you pretty hard right now. I know, you feel as if your world is ending. You can’t see beyond the next few minutes. How can you? How do you start over from nothing? After all that time you spent putting that old life together. How can you even think about building a new one? How do you walk away from the rubble that was torn down around you? I know it’s really hard to see it, but girl, you do.

From the floor, you’re not feeling very powerful. In fact, you’re feeling pretty worthless right now, right? Kind of like this is the point where your life ends. Like you’re never going to recover from this? Yet, I can tell you that you do. And my God, the way you’re going to light up a room. Just wait until you see the woman you turn yourself into. You have no idea how beautiful you truly are. I know because you keep avoiding that mirror, but that mirror is going to shatter! That mirror wont be able to contain everything that you are going to become. The power you’re going to create within yourself; girl, if you only knew. If you only knew the fire that you are already creating inside of you. I know, from your view you’re feeling pretty low, but just wait until you see how high you build yourself up to. That ceiling seems so far up, but you’re going to bust right through it.

It’s not going to be easy. It’s going to be incredibly hard. There will be many times when you’re going to want to give up. You’re going to cry yourself to sleep. There are going to be so many days when you will be tired, and drained, and so very exhausted. You’re going to grieve, a lot. The pain will feel like it’s never going to end, until one day it just does. The next few minutes ahead of you seem impossible, but the next few years are going to take you on the most beautiful journey back to yourself.

So, lay there as long as you need to. Cry as hard as you have to. Break apart as deep as you can. Then, when you are ready, get up! Get up and start your journey forward. Get up and come meet me over here, where the next part of your life begins. Go get it, Goddess!