Count Your Successes, Not Your Goals

I ended 2021 feeling slightly overwhelmed but absolutely excited for what 2022 had in store for me. I was finishing my Masters in TV Screenwriting, was co-managing a language teaching entrepreneurship, and had published a web series that had earned me a couple of awards in the web fest circuit. I was finally feeling confident about my writing and could sense I would have a little more time to dedicate to filmmaking, screenwriting, and a couple of other projects that included bringing my audiovisual savviness to grow the micro-business. I wrote down resolutions that were more of a to do list. Four to do's specifically for January and six for the whole year,, written down in jumbo sized notecards so I could keep filling up new tasks when I finished those. New Year's Eve came around and I entered 2022 with...

Covid. Almost two entire years since Covid arrived in my home country (Costa Rica) and I had managed to not catch it. I followed lockdown guidelines religiously and, even after restrictions eased up, I did not leave my house a single time for up to three months at a time. Not only did I start January 2022 with Covid but it lasted over a month for me. My mom, who caught it at the same time, was back on her feet after two days. I was out for three weeks and a terrible, debilitating cough persisted for even longer.

There went any hope of achieving ANYTHING in January. But I still had the rest of the year, right?

The truth is I was unable to bounce back from the rough start. No matter what I did, the entire year felt like I was trying to catch up to deadlines that had already passed and, no matter how much I tried to work in advance, the must do's kept piling up, leaving me no time for the things I just WANTED to do.

I did not achieve a single one of the to do's I wrote.

But you know what? I did have a successful year filled with accomplishments that I am incredibly proud of. The problem is that I have to make a very conscious effort to remind myself of these in those moments when I catch a glimpse of those notecards and start beating myself over what I couldn't accomplish.

My micro-business partner stripped me of my part and swindled me, but I was trusted and hired to do two vastly different jobs involving feature films for two different directors. I wasn't able to finish editing the short film I shot back in March, but I did produce, direct, and edit two 1-hour k-pop dance shows that led me to meet some wonderful cover artists. I couldn't develop the script and act for a second season of my web series, but I was called in to act for a feature film, a student short, and two music videos.

Sure, this sounds like humble bragging but only by truthfully laying out your accomplishments alongside the "failures" that you remind yourself of every day can you see just how well you did, how much you accomplished. For me, these are all tiny successes in my aspirations. However, success often looks different from what we have defined for ourselves. So as New Year's Eve approaches and you feel the pressure of setting resolutions for yourself, remember to not hold your mind prisoner to these self-imposed fictions of what success looks like in this upcoming year because, after all, resolutions should be just for guidance. If you are someone who needs a clearer path, resolutions can be a wonderful way of working towards something you aspire. But, if like me, resolutions become more of a burden and extra pressure, as if you didn't already place enough of that on yourself, think of them as suggestions.

At the end of the year, be sure to not count the goals that you met, but your actual tangible successes. All those big things and little things, even those that you think nobody cares about. If they are coming to your mind, it is because at the very least you care about them and YOU are the one who matters here. Count your successes, whatever success looks like to you. Progress is whatever you would like it to mean, not what the outside world says. Don't let resolutions be the reason to hold back and feel down, but rather use them to empower yourself.

Most importantly, be kind to yourself and be the first person to celebrate.