Coasting

Do you like roller coasters? I used to…the crazier, the better. The racing heart, the tummy dropping, the adrenaline pumping – all of it. Not anymore. I didn’t even know I didn’t like them anymore until I rode a small one at a carnival a few years ago with my step kids. Boy was that a rude awakening! Maybe it’s my age or maybe it’s something more profound. As we get older, a lot changes…DUH! Not only does our body change and react differently to situations, but we also have more life experiences and more and different perspective to apply to situations; like riding roller coasters. Why would I knowingly put myself in a situation that will cause my heart to race, my tummy to flip flop and a massive adrenaline dump?! So basically, I am avoiding the situation for the exact reasons I sought it out in my youth. I find this fascinating; not because of the roller coaster conundrum, but because of what it represents in my life, our lives.

Much like riding roller coasters as a kid, I have always been drawn to, and often sought out, a more varied life. One full of ups and downs and nary a straightforward path. Clarity of direction and focus is boring, right? Maybe however, it is consistent. I guess the decision now is, do I want consistency that’s a little boring or do I want unpredictable that is full of life-giving energy. Hmmmm…I’m literally writing this at my kitchen counter while my feral child is living his best life and my hubby is writing insanely wild and inspired music…looks like the choice has been made.

So what does this mean? For me, for my family, for my future? All decisions have consequences, good and/or bad, but a guaranteed outcome and effect to our choices. We have to be ready and willing to accept the assured consequences that come. Much like that roller coaster as a kid, there are obvious things we expect when making decisions, especially big, life decisions. So…with choosing to live on a roller coaster, what do I know is a guarantee? I fully expect to have times that my heart is racing in anticipation and maybe even fear, I’m certain my tummy will do it’s fair share of flip flops—the exciting, butterfly kind and the nauseous, puke my guts up kind, all the while my adrenaline will be racing around my insides on its own roller coaster. YIKES! These assumptions can be and are, in fact, a bit intimidating. Yet, here I am, pulling the shoulder harness down and waiting…CLICK, CLICK, CLICK…

Even for those who have never experienced the thrill of riding a roller coaster know what comes next…the deep plunge. Holy smokes! This going to be a doozy. I’d say that my family and I are headed into the plunge and full speed into the first crazy, twisting, looping run. We’re first time riders on THIS roller coaster, but we are experienced roller coaster riders. It does seem that each new coaster experience is not really by explicit choice, more of a dragging, kicking and screaming kind of thing — I can picture it now. I’m honestly not really sure why we are so resistant to jumping on the next ride, maybe it’s because we are the only coaster enthusiasts in our tribe. Or, it could be because what we remember most from the last ride is the uncertainty of where it was leading. But, in reality, it led us here.

I don’t hate “here.” I don’t know what the track looks like or how long it is or anything however, I do know that we get to ride this together.

Here’s to white-knuckling our way to a guaranteed adventure.