Attitude Adjustment - How to Change Your Attitude!

Recently, I've spoken in this column about emotional hygiene and doing the essential upkeep on your emotions, as well as your physical body and home. Health warnings advise us to routinely wash our hands to stop the spread of infections. Did you know that you may alter your attitude at any time by "washing" your mood as well?

When I want to enjoy myself with Richard, I am aware that it's crucial to control my emotions and maintain equilibrium. If anything disappointing, irritating, upsetting, or stressful occurs, I need to re-center myself so that it won't ruin the day.

Here are some suggestions on how to improve your attitude in the scenarios that tend to upset your mood the most frequently:

Expectations and disappointment

Every time we enter a new circumstance or relationship, we have great expectations and optimistic visions of the future. Therefore, it is disheartening when life doesn't turn out to be ideal, things don't turn out the way you expected them to, or you learn that your spouse is really a flawed human, just like you. You can start off hoping that your spouse would always share your perspective or that everything will be OK as long as you are in love, but eventually reality sets in and you discover your assumptions were false. Consider the possibility that your persistent disappointment and frequent rage may be caused by unrealistic expectations.

There is no need to argue about how little reality resembles your aspirations. Each of us has several setbacks in everyday life, both at home and at work. Most of the time, neither you nor your spouse would dispute with each other the way you do with your employer, coworkers, or your child's teacher. You may pick your conduct in the same manner at home; you are not required to dispute with one another. Instead of arguing like toddlers, use your adult restraint to extricate yourself from the conflict. If you find yourself arguing about little things, keep in mind that these conflicts are only symbolic; they are not really about who forgot to close the toothpaste's cap or who is right or powerful or deserving of someone's affection.

Guidelines for Resolving Disappointment

So you're disappointed, I guess. Your dream has come to an end in the garbage. If you do it, you'll discover that you're still unhappy and that all of your acting out hasn't made things better. You may want to lie on the floor while stomping your heels and shouting, go on a drinking binge, or beat someone up. Your path to disappointment is at a dead stop, therefore you need to find a different route.

To aid you, consider the following Dos and Don'ts:

Do remember that although being disappointed hurts, your life is not over. Consider your future and what you can do to improve it.

Recognize that you had some, but not all, influence over this: With a clear understanding of what went wrong, you may develop strategies to enhance your team's work, your abilities, and your spirit before the next event. Change the things you can, rather than blaming yourself for the ones you have no control over.

DON'T GIVE UP: Don't give up when you're behind because until you do, you're not a failure. Instead, resolve to do better.

DO make an effort to gain knowledge from the experience: Every setback is a chance to analyze what went wrong. Think back on the experience and consider how you might have done better.

AVOID anticipating sympathy beyond the first several seconds: In the short term, sympathy feels nice, but over time, it makes you weak. If you go back in the game after picking yourself up and dusting yourself off, you'll feel better.

releasing resentment, dissatisfaction, and frustration

Frustration and dissatisfaction are harmful because they breed pessimism and despair. You will lose faith that you will ever be able to enjoy life if you are unable to resolve issues, communicate effectively, or get along with others or yourself. Your days are robbed of the wonderful and cheerful times by resentment and dissatisfaction. You don't have the patience or the capacity to think effectively and creatively when you're discouraged and despondent. Good news: you can develop your patience and critical thinking.

Developing Patience

Stress and concern may be lessened and relieved by learning to be patient and maintain calm. Learning impulse control is actually what it means to practice patience since self-management is a problem. You may learn how to practice "emotional maintenance," which involves letting go of irritation when something is getting to you and managing your stress. Learning how to be patient involves learning to wait and consider your alternatives before taking a step. It also involves taking charge of your own thoughts and judgments. It's a process of personal development that involves learning and being more aware of oneself.

To develop patience, practice acting on impulse less often, alter your perspective and attitude, and seek out support and motivation from others. These seven actions might help you develop the patience and perseverance that improve your communication.

Developing Patience in Seven Easy Steps

1. Wait: Counting to ten before responding is an ancient saying that's an excellent approach to develop patience. Give yourself an opportunity to respond in the best way possible.

2: Use perspective. Consider if your urges or wants will matter in an hour or fifteen minutes. The majority won't be.

3. Self-awareness: If you find yourself inclined to act or say on a whim, remember that although impulses are common, you don't have to let them control you. Impulses and reactions are dubious; what matters is how carefully we respond to them. Moments aren't worth much if impetuous thoughts or actions spoil them.

4: Consider the bigger picture: If you're responding because someone offended you (for example, your spouse injured your emotions), say a quick prayer of gratitude that it wasn't worse, bless your partner, friend, or coworker (who surely needs it), and you'll feel better. Whether you find yourself tempted to act impulsively, take a moment to think about your larger objective. Then, determine if the fleeting inclination is worth delaying your goal.

5. Be kind to yourself: If you react rashly without thinking things through, admit what you did, then extend forgiveness to yourself and move on. If you often behave impulsively, your objective may be too strict, and you should give yourself a bit more leeway or rethink the terms of your marriage. Find a safe place where you may express your impulses.

6. Refocus: Impulses are often a response to external circumstances, such as being irritated that your spouse isn't accessible when you might be enjoying your alone time. Be certain that what you're doing is something you really want to accomplish.

7: Remind yourself to celebrate your successes and all the times you follow through on your plans, keep your word, and resolve conflicts. You may motivate yourself to be even more patient by rewarding yourself with frequent modest celebrations. Encourage yourself and others by complimenting them.