A Life of No Regrets.

One of the most important lessons I have learned in my 35 years of living is that a life lived in reaction to what life throws at you usually is only a recipe for regrets and dissatisfaction after dissatisfaction.

Why do I say this?

Well, this morning after my usual wake up routine in trying to maintain the right state of mindfulness as often as possible, I got caught in the trap of lingering in bed for a little while longer since I did not particularly have a schedule to meet up with and, started running through a list of 'what-ifs in my mind;

- What if I had someone to wake up to every morning?

- What if we got along? What if we didn't get along?

-What if we had kids? What if we had pets?

-What if he was rich? or not? What if I was rich?

- What if I owned a nice cottage like I always dreamed and drove a nice little car into the village I enjoyed living in?

-What if I chose to continue living with mum and dad and never ventured out on my own?.....

This game started to slide down a subtle path towards regret before I painstakingly reluctantly stopped myself. But only for a second or two.

And then I continued,

-What if I studied medicine and didn't defer my studies to pursue a career in music?

-What if I got married ten years ago to the dude I was in love with...so very much in love with?

I would not be here if I had done any of these things. I might have been cradling a baby or two with some of the things I wonder about now as part of my life, wondering why I didn't dare to take the risk of the life that I am living now.

Sometimes, it is easier to look back on what we wish we chose instead forgetting the simple pleasures of just enjoying the present as it is regardless of what it is.

And then, just as I started going down that steep slope of 'what-if' in my mind I started to to count 'what is' and it went like this;

- I have a roof over my head. It is not the way I intended but it is better than being alone.

-I have a family that love me and are proud of me regardless of what I have to bring to the table.

- I am in good health regardless of what the doctors have said in the recent past.

-My bank balance is less than perfect but today is another day to work towards rectifying that.

- The person I would like to wake up to every morning lives in another country and may actually be very wrong for me....

and then I started laughing at myself. And while laughing remembering all the wonderful memories and not so happy ones while equally being grateful for them both, realizing that I had in this effortless exercise of being completely honest with myself slid into the very peaceful state of "Forgiveness".

I started to forgive myself for all the times I said or did the wrong thing to the people who loved me that I didn't love back when I should have and I started to also forgive every single person that had been horrible to me for whatever reason. In that moment of forgiving everyone including myself, I saw the blank slate in front of me which is "the rest of my life".

"The rest of my life" being the best blank cheque in the world is one way I can best describe it. And so, I took on my first fun task of climbing up the mountain of "hope" for the future with all the necessary gratitude in my backpack of 'the present' counting up as I tidied my bed before heading out to take that much needed shower;

- I will spend my thoughts on love and all the ways I can make everything better for everyone in my life

-I will be content with where I am and what I have in spite of what I want

-I will let go of the few who refuse to love me back for the many who already do.

-I will continue to forgive the smug, the mean and the subtly abusive knowing that the power they have over me now will not last forever, and when it is my turn I will do better towards them or anybody else because revenge never made anyone feel better.

And just like that I started feeling stronger in my body and in my mind.

Suddenly my life started to count to me so I got on my computer to write these feelings in order to tell somebody that choosing the right thoughts might be the only legacy we leave behind and it makes all the difference to how everybody that comes in contact with us leaves theirs.