A brand new version of myself

I have been trying to find myself and I did.

Who I was before isn’t the person I am now.

As I found myself, I found the person I want to be and I became her. Brave, strong, forgiving, and happy. I am not perfect but I know who I am now. I know the brand new version of my self is better than the old.

See I lost who I was 6 years ago. The person I was 6 years ago was weak and depressed. I let people step all over me. I did what was asked, I was called names and I had low self-esteem. I had people worry that I would harm myself because I didn’t open myself up to anyone. I guess you can call it depression. I let my weight get to me and lost all hope for everything. But I met someone.... he showed me what life is and showed me the best part of myself. I started to feel beautiful on the inside and started to become beautiful on the outside. He showed me what I am supposed to fight for. I fight for myself, my life, my kids, and he who is my fiancé now. He helped me awake the brand new version of my self.

I can tell you I wouldn’t be who I am today without my fiancé’s guidance and love. He showed me what love is and how to love myself. I used to hate myself. I used to stop taking care of myself and not care about my appearance and I had a weak mind. This only happens when you are not happy, a bad influence In poor health choices, a bully, and not being appreciated. It brought me down and that’s how I started to lose who I was. Since I didn’t have anyone to talk to and to confide in, it began to get harder to keep up with myself and my dreams. That is why when I look back I look back on what made me who I am today. There have been many times I was supposed to be in accidents and for some reason, I have been saved so many times. That’s another thing that made me not lose hope and faith. But one thing I can tell you is is that I prayed every single day. I prayed for change and to become better. So I got what I wanted and not it’s up to me to stay the brand new version of my self. It’s up to me to keep being brave, strong, and happy. It’s up to me to learn to forgive. I forgive myself. I forgive myself for letting myself go, For not being strong and brave. Meditation and gospel music also helped me. I have embraced my self into a brand new version of myself. I have plenty of coping mechanisms to help me throughout my days. All I have to do is keep moving forward. Keep being this new version of my self and never give in or upon anything. My visions and goals will come into my life and that’s because I don’t give up. I will fight till the end 😂. Okay, I am being funny but hey I have to be. If not then this end of my story will just be boringly sad. I mean who knows maybe you can see why I’m a happy person now and not unhealthy anymore. I am a human and so are you.

Mediation, Gospel music 🎶 reading, writing, and spending time with my little new family keep me happy. I have a lot to stay fighting for. This brand new version of myself Is my best version.