5 Fears Stopping Your From Achieving Your Goals

Setting a new goal — small or big — is never easy and the start is probably the hardest. Fears and doubts plague even the best of us; sometimes they may slow you down, a lot of the time they stop you from even starting!!

Learn to identify and let go of these 5 fears that may be stopping you from reaching your goals!

The Fear Of Success

I realise this may sound weird, but the fear of success is real and many people have to deal with it (myself included!) and it can be mostly found in people with business or career goals.

Why would anybody be afraid of success you ask? Simple: it’s not about success itself but in this case about what it can bring with it. Maybe you’re scared of the responsability growing your business will entail, or how it will impact your lifestyle, or how it demands that you be on camera and social media while you’re shy or an introvert and you hate that..

How to let go?

• Remind yourself there is a thousand mean to an end. The path you take can be your own, a new discovered one. You don’t have to go through the same training, or to use the methods to achieve your goals as others do.

• Define your priorities and what you can or can’t compromise on in order to achieve your goals. Achieving your goals without compromising on your priorities is the REAL success.

• Customize your plan : out of the many actions or steps needed to be taken to achieve your goal, choose the ones that fit you the best or put a special focus on those you can twitch and personnalize to fit your own preferences and priorities. Don’t think you have to do it all, exactly like others did it. You don’t like social media? Find other ways to promote your business.. Afraid of the responsabilities of a big business? Find ways to delegate ..

The Fear Of Failure

Whether you doubt your ability to succeed in your career, in your new business venture, in your weight loss journey, in being a good parent.. A new path almost always brings the fear of failure with it.

Why? It’s because we build our self-confidence regarding a certain subject (work, parenting, business..) based on our previous experience and success in the matter, and so starting on a new unknown journey brings doubt with it.

A very important factor in how easily people can let go of this fear or allow it to hinder them is the notion of “the measure of succees”. What I mean is, it all depends on how you measure success; it affects how you also perceive failure.

Is the notion of success something very personal to you? Or do you only want the success others have? Do you compare your life constantly as successful or not based on the life, career, relationship others are having?

How to let go?

• Decide first on what success means for YOU. What is it that truly makes you feel free, yourself, confident, happy? What kind of job, lifestyle, home, clothes, body, relationship… does that for you? This will help you to stop comparing your success to that of others, it will lessen the feeling of inferiority and your fear of failure.

• Ask youself the “why” question? Why do you want to lose weight? Why do you want to start a new business ? Why do you want more money? This is going to be your real motivation that is going to push you forward in times of doubt. It’s not about the goal, it’s about the REASON behind it.

• Plan, divide and conquer. Break things into smaller pieces and the big mountain in front of you, will start looking less daunting. Your planning doesn’t have to be super detailed, but making notes of the steps and actions needed to be taken, tasks and to to lists helps tremendously in keeping your mind focused on what simply needs to be done. It becomes like a roadmap that you just need to follow to reach your destination no matter what.

You can use a simple notebook, a planner or a planning and productivity app. I personally use a mixture of all of these. Because I’m a control freak I like to break down every goal into actions, actions to tasks and to-do lists with Todoist and Notion; It helps me plan every tiny DETAIL, keep track of everything and be more organized and productive. I seriously can’t function without these 2 apps !!

The Fear Of Change

The comfort zone. Who doesn’t like it? It makes you feel safe and..well, comfortable. The fear of change is simply when people are afraid of getting out of their comfort zone and the routine they’re used to and stepping into a new one. Because it’s new, it’s scary. So people mostly prefer to stay complacent and avoid change even if they’re not satisfied in their present situation.

A new career, a new home, a new country…The unknown is always scary.

How to let go?

• Remind yourself of your purpose. When you keep — your why — the reason behind all you want in mind, it’s easier to let go of your complacency and take the necessary actions you need to get where you really want to be.

• Have hopes for the best and plans for the worst case: yes, I truly believe there is nothing you can’t achieve with some planning, but in this case, it’s planning for worst case scenario. Why? It’ll give you that “safe” feeling that is the main reason people love their comfort zone and fear change.

The Fear Of Judgement

Whether it’s intentional or not, people often manage to build a certain image for themselves. The fear of judgement is the fear of what your others may think or say when you decide to follow what’s in your heart but that desire or goal doesn’t fit with the image you’ve been projecting so far. More than that, you may fear to lose their respect, love and support because this is not the “you” they’ve grown to love.

How to let go?

• Remind yourself of the time YOU judged other people. Accept that you are not “weird” for being under the lights of judgement because you can do it too and it doesn’t necessarly come with mean or bad intentions but it’s mostly a matter of perspective. Have you stopped loving the family members you judged? Have you changed your opinion with time?

• Accept it: you will ALWAYS be judged one way or the other; By people you are close to, people you just met or even those you don’t know. It’s impossible for you to be what everybody wishes for or thinks you should be. So ask yourself, is it better to be judged for being your true self and following your dreams or to be judged for the image you’re projecting?

• Practice compassion in your inner critic: instead of always trying to figure out what’s wrong with you, redeem yourself or try to be better, practice compassion when you critisizes yourself. Instead of thinking: “ I will never succeed” remind yourself of the times you did!!

The Feat Of Disappointment & Regret

Starting something new is generally always accompanied with the hopes of something better: a better life, a better job, a better chance at getting a date.. Unfortunately, nothing is guaranteed; Many people fear disappointment and regret in starting a new journey or striving for a new goal. They fear wasting time, energy and other resources and then not be satisfied with their new career, home, country..So they do things halfway or..never even START.

How to let go?

• Introspection: Do a bit of journaling or simply have a deep conversation with a loved one. Figure out why you’re unsatisfied with your current situation? Why do you want to change it? Why do you think something else might be better? Do you REALLY need or want that career change? The idea is to make certain that what you’re seeking to gain is truly what you want and what you need at THIS STAGE of your life (don’t think it has to be the purpose of your entire life!!); The idea is to build purpose and faith for when the journey gets bumpy and hard.

• Backup plan. Not a worst case scenario plan but a plan B that you can fall back on if you’re not satisfied with the new path you’re taking or the situation AFTER achieving your goal ends up being less than rewarding. Knowing that you have a backup plan will put you more at ease and minimize the crippling effects of your fear of disappointment.

• Baby steps. Don’t jump completely no matter how tempting it maybe and don’t put all your energy, time and resources into this one “goal”, after all, this is what you fear regretting. So start slow and SAVOR. Give yourself a TRIAL period. See what works, what doesn’t and if there are ways you can make it work for YOU. This may sound a bit controversial, and true enough, in other cases, giving it your all may be the best choice. But when it comes to the fear of disappointment and regret that steams mostly from uncertainty and doubts and leads mainly to giving up completely on the idea, starting slow is better than never starting!!

So there you go, these were the 5 fears that could be hindering you and stopping you from achiecing your goals. Hopefully, after reading this post, you are more able to identify your own fears and let go of them, if not completely, then enough for you to reach your goals regardless of your doubts.

Source: original post was written on Medium