When Years Pass and You Are Still Grieving

This is something that irks me, to no end. I felt compelled to write about it and I’m not exactly sure how it will sound in written form but here goes.

1. Who sets the time limit for how long you are “allowed” to grieve the loss of a loved one?

I mean seriously... what? Why? Since when do you have an allotted time that you can feel sorrow and then you're supposed to automatically bounce back to normal even though you know no sort of normal.

2. Why do people think that when we talk about it on social media years after we lost this person, we are looking for attention?

Are we as people not allowed to use our own personal pages to post about the things that make us sad, the memories that make us smile, the years spent with someone who was taken away to soon. Because let’s face it anytime no matter how much time you’ve had is long enough with a loved one.

3. Why do people think just because they dealt with something in a certain manner that we should deal with it the same exact way?

I’m sorry that while you cried for the services and funeral and you shed tears for a short amount of time over the friend you lost, I’m still crying on certain days 12 years after losing my brother.

My point with this post is that when you see someone posting about the anniversary of a death years after the fact, or you see someone talking about a birthday or holidays without the ones they love.... don’t automatically say, “Good god, he/she should be over it by now," or "Dear lord are they still going on about this? Why are they always seeking attention or being so dramatic?"

Understand that a piece of that person was lost forever. That life for them no matter the amount of time will ever go back to normal. There is no time limit no matter if it’s two weeks or 40 years that will ever take the pain and suffering of losing someone you love away and until you experience it you will never know the true feeling of sorrow.

Give those people around you well wishes, prayers, send your best regards to them... Try to place yourself in that person's shoes, but don’t ever assume that just because a certain amount of time has passed that the pain isn’t still there on some days just as bad as it was on the first day it happened.

If you're grieving, take your time. You are allowed all of the time in this world that you need to grieve. Don’t ever think that you shouldn’t feel a certain way because of what people think or say about how you deal with it!

For those of you who have never lost someone and are the ones judging those people who are “still grieving,” STOP. 🛑 Please be understanding and considerate of what they go through and pray that you never have to experience it for yourself.