What Not Recognising Faces is Like

I have face blindness, which is a condition that makes it hard for me to recognise faces. Most people don't believe me when I tell them about it, so I try talking about it openly to raise more awareness. It's real, and it affects me on a daily basis. Just a disclaimer, people with face blindness have it at different degrees, and I'm talking only from my own experience. This is not what it's like for everyone, but this is how face blindness is for me.

What do faces look like to me?

An extremely common question people ask me when I tell them that I can't recognise faces, is whether I can actually see faces or not. I do see people's faces normally, I don't just see a blob or a blurred face. I'm not actually living in a horror movie, luckily. I can see what you look like, my brain just doesn't remember it.

Do I recognise people at all?

With my degree of face blindness, I recognise my family members and most of my friends that I see frequently. Some faces also take longer to stick than others, and it helps to remember other things about their appearances. I've had it happen that my flatmate got a haircut, and I was unable to recognise him, even though I saw him every day. Also if I for instance saw my classmates at uni or colleagues that I don't speak to very often outside of the usual setting, I probably wouldn't recognise them.

How long does it take to recognise someone?

I know this sounds weird, but I immediately forget what someone looks like. My main examples to really explain this is with customers. When I worked at a grocery store and someone would ask me to check in the back for something, I'd have no idea who to give the item to when I returned to the store. When I worked in coffee shops, I'd completely forget who to hand drinks or food to, and even if I had to look down for a few seconds to get change and the person moved in the meantime, I'd be lost on who I was supposed to give the money to. There's no straight answer to how long it takes me to remember what someone looks like, but it usually takes me quite a while.

If I don't recognise someone, does that mean I don't care?

People often get hurt or offended when I tell them that I won't be able to recognise them. I usually tell new people I meet (that I know I'll be seeing frequently) to be aware that I won't recognise them when I see them again, and ask them to please approach me and remind me who they are. Please don't be offended if someone's unable to recognise you, it really doesn't mean that they don't care. I wish so badly that I could recognise everyone I meet, and I try my hardest to do so. It's simply an ability that I just don't have. Please understand the difference between remembering someone and recognising their face. Just because I don't remember what your face looks like, doesn't mean that I don't remember who you are. I know it's hard to understand something you've never heard of before, but trust me, I wish I could recognise you.

Difficulties of recognising characters in shows and movies

This is a huge struggle for me. I don't often watch live-action movies or shows that I haven't seen before by myself, as not recognising the people makes it hard for me to follow the story. I tend to watch the same movies over and over again, to have an easier and more enjoyable experience. I also watch movies with actors that I know I can recognise, as it's easier for me to not get lost. This is another reason why I love animated movies and shows, as the characters rarely change their appearances or outfits, making them way easier for me to recognise. Because of this there's many well-known TV shows I haven't seen, and I try to avoid bringing it up in conversations, as I often get judged by people for not having watched certain ones. Recognising celebrities is also a struggle, and I always get shocked faces in response when I ask who someone really famous is. Surprisingly, it's not obvious for everyone who it is, but I know that's hard for them to imagine.

It's different for everyone

I've seen documentaries on face blindness with people who are unable to recognise their own children. I'm lucky that at least I can over time learn to recognise people. I also continue to recognise my nieces and friends' kids as they're growing up and changing, so I recognise my privilege of being able to remember what people look like over time. It's really hard to struggle this much with forgetting what people look like, but I know I'm lucky that I'm able to recognise some people in my life.

How can you assist people with face blindness?

Some of my friends make an effort to make my life easier, as they know I struggle when meeting someone in busy places (which most places are in London). One of my friends always wears a Ninja Turtle t-shirt to make him easy for me to spot, and another one always tells me what she's wearing beforehand, so I can look for a specific coloured jacket for instance, rather than trying to find a single face in a crowd. Although I recognise most of my friends, it's still exhausting for me to search for a face when there's lots of people around me.

I hope this gave you some insight into what face blindness is like, and that this article can raise some awareness for the obscure condition that it is. I'm not talking about it to complain or get sympathy, I know I don't have it bad and that people deal with much bigger issues than this. It's just another one of the things it'd be nice if more people knew about, and I think it's important for people with rare conditions to speak publicly about them if they're comfortable with doing so.

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