What happens after self-care?

In the last section, I want to shift the perspective from the knowledge on paper to the daily work and study of each of us.

Recently, there have been a lot of news about workers being laid off by violence when they are older, when they are sick, and when they complain about the company. Many past agreements are broken, and the promises made to you by the HR at the interview turn out to be empty words.

Among my friends, there are also those who work until they fall ill and have to take the initiative to be laid off, or those who are chased by capital and live a life worse than death... Nowadays, if the sudden death is not a star, just an ordinary small staff, even no one has to pay attention to.

Although 996, the topic of ICU makes a boiling uproar, but most people still have to, continue to punch 007. As we work longer and longer hours, the peace of mind is increasingly out of reach.

Chinese people are lovely and simple at times. We are used to listening and we expect that those we listen to and pay for will arrange, plan, take responsibility for us and ultimately give us a lift. As a result, we are often vulnerable to the promise of good things, to the inspiration of passion, to chicken soup, to success, to personal myths, to charismatic people. We are willing to sacrifice our physical and even mental health in the wishful thinking that all those wonderful visions will come true to us.

Pay is really you, cash is not necessarily in who. We expect it to be you too, but unfortunately, a lot of times it doesn't work out.

When you have lost yourself and exhausted yourself, you may look around and realize that the cashing is happening elsewhere. And nowhere in the black and white is it written who will be held accountable for those costs.

You are the only one who ultimately bears the cost of all this. No one can replace you when you are depressed. No one can replace you when you are sick. When you sacrifice social relationships and family time and end up alone, all you have left at night is you.

That's why I wrote this course, a set of courses you don't learn in school classes, in corporate training. Self-care is something you can't wait for others or society to think about for you, but only for yourself. At the same time, self-care is also the way that I can find, on a personal level, a certain amount of welfare and leeway for myself in the face of the fast wheels of The Times.

Take a hard look at which of the physical, mental, relational, and human costs you are paying and which are not worth it to you personally. Realistically assess how much are you really doing for your own well-being?

When you give it all away, do you leave your body and mind a little room to breathe, a little room to heal and grow, not for anyone else, not for anything, but for yourself?

And if the people who promised to take care of you, who promised to hold you up, don't live up to their promises, how will you look after yourself from this point forward? How will you create opportunities for peace and quiet?

I don't see self-care as selfishness. Rather, I see it as self-respect, taking responsibility for one's own physical and mental health, and making a practical effort to preserve one's human dignity.

Take the time to cultivate your inner strength instead of expecting to gain power by relying on the outside world; Take the initiative to support your inner peace instead of looking to external things for permanent stability.

The outside world is important, but we ourselves are at least as important in everyone's experience of life.

To be realistic, the Chinese people have few easy times. If we count the previous generation, this generation and the next generation, we are afraid that there are too many historical events and social changes, big and small, which have affected generation after generation.

It is very rare to find a childhood as happy as the one described in psychology textbooks; Can be like the media advertising, less than 30 have a house, a car, marriage, children and success is actually very rare.

Most people actually live their lives in the rough and tumble, struggling to survive the changing times, and growing up in the process.

If in this process, can get the support of family and social environment, the guidance of kind and wise teachers, psychological professionals to help, it is certainly a very lucky, very beneficial thing.

But if these conditions are not available, it does not mean that we should become the victims of life, the victims of The Times. Through self-care, we can still leave a space for ourselves, have the resources and initiative to face life on our own, and use that as a foundation to seek more opportunities for improvement.

This power even at the beginning of the weak, but also completely belong to your own power, and can be strengthened through your efforts, this is what self-care can give you.

There's a quote I like to give my clients, especially those who are prone to anxiety, in counseling. It's not a famous quote, but I think it speaks for itself. It goes like this: A bird standing on a branch believes not in the branch under its feet, but in the wing on its body.

I will not wish you a smooth journey, because it is not realistic; But I wish that self-care can be part of your wings and bring your own peace and freedom to your heart -- and it will be real.