The Day the Earth Went Mad

Okay, so here's my take on this whole goddamn pandemic thingie...

Name three things your parents taught you while growing up?

Can't decide, can't remember anything significant, or have you just plain forgotten? I'll give you a clue...

'Wash your fucking hands!' (expletive included for effect- thank you honey)

'Respect your Elders?'

And... 'Cover your bloody mouth when coughing or sneezing?'

Do any of these phrases sound familiar? If not, were you born in a barn? Jesus, at least that should sound familiar. So why is it today we seem to have forgotten these little bits of gold simply because we are facing this global pandemic? I simply do not understand where this new seemingly, previously unknown knowledge of washing one's hands has come from so suddenly?

Perhaps I am an exception to the rule as I cannot even count how many times each day, that I do wash my hands. Not because I am obsessive compulsive but because I work in the food service industry.. But c'mon, do we really need to be reminded to wash our hands so relentlessly?

At the grocery store the other day, I could not find bar soap of any description with the exception of 'Irish Spring'. I was not about to re-live that horror of my childhood when daddy dearest would purchase nothing but Irish Spring for what seemed like a Goddamn eternity! That will be etched into my psyche and my nostrils for the rest of my days...but why, why bar soap? Why would everyone be sporadically buying bar soap all of a sudden? Do people honestly believe we are going to run out of soap because of this pandemic? This goes to the same mentality as the whole toilet paper fiasco going on, what in blazes are you going to do with a house full of toilet paper in light of a respiratory virus? You people...I can just hear Don Cherry now....

Here's where it gets really interesting to me, although the phrase 'social distancing' has come into play, and do not misunderstand I completely agree with the concept, what gets me is the individual interpretation of said phrase. Here's a for instance. I'm in a store the other day (which shall remain unnamed) and there are several meat counters shut down with these big signs on them stating, in respect of 'social distancing' these service counters are no longer in operation to protect both customers and staff alike, blah, blah, blah...Yet 3 display cases away, same store, they are still making their famous (unnamed) sandwiches at close proximity to the customer that they have so vehemently stated was no longer safe to do so.

Today they are no longer doing this, yet the motivation there was the almighty dollar as the store in question, these sandwiches happen to be their 'bread and butter.' Interesting no? Why did they stop? No staff, and they were told to by the powers that be...Not 15 minutes ago, this same store which just happens to be below my apartment complex, I went to buy 2 litres of milk and I could not even get into the store unless I was willing to stand in a line-up, six feet apart from others, the employee was advising customers to do this, had his little baskets set up along a wall- 6 feet apart, letting 1 person in at a time. It really was bizarre. Not a small store but they were restricting the amount of people to only 12 at a time. I was baffled. Did they really think that once those twelve people were in the store that they would stay 6 feet away from each other? The real issue, again- they had no staff to deal with the customers, hence the restrictions.

Thrifty Foods just up the street is doing the same thing and the reasons are the same, their staff is afraid to come to work and they are perfectly within their rights to call in sick. They are going to the extent of putting in plexi-glass shielding between customer and staff at checkout counters in all their locations. The cost involved must be ridiculous for them. Personally I did not go into either store simply because I was not in the mood for a line up. My question is though, will this be a trend that continues everywhere as this thing progresses? I'm thinkin' yes. Has this now become a necessary protocol?

Restaurants and coffee shops have closed down, barber shops and nail salons, most offices are work from home now, food service companies such as the one I've been laid-off from since the first day any restrictions went into play are closed. Yesterday I noticed the larger malls are now closed, I am not sure how far reaching that is as I have not looked, but one usually means all in these kinds of situations. The list is growing daily, this morning it was outside playgrounds. I need to pick up prescription meds, am I going to have to wait in a line for those? Probably. Those stores that have remained open are having such a hard time keeping them staffed. They are now drastically reducing those hours of operation because of such.

I was out yesterday, I had to go to work, but the reactions of others that were out and about are once again becoming, I will say neurotic. I had someone say to me to not stand so close to them as I was waiting for a bus. I almost told them to go and f*ck themselves, but I thought better of that. Jesus if you are that freakin' paranoid then do what is being asked of you and stay the hell home dude. I couldn't believe it. I work in care homes, I had a reason to be out and a damn good one...

I have also had so much work for the same reason, staff is afraid to come to work. We as is protocol for all care homes in the country now, are screened when arriving, temperature, single staff entrance only, signing in with questions asked, 'you coughing', 'been out of the country', 'had contact with anyone sickly'. Just yesterday, if we have more than one job as many do, we now have to pick only one unit to work in until this thing is over. Me being casual labour this kind of defeats the purpose of that yet I know I'll have more than enough hours at the one of my choosing. But what if someone does become ill at the other unit I work in?

People are once again starting to panic, and once again or still, the media coverage is driving people to hoard and buy things they do not need, leaving little for those that may. This is serious, absolutely...yet panicking will do nothing to alleviate the virus...

Calm the f*ck down people.

Just this morning I read from a reputable source that this could last as long as eight months. Now I don't know about the rest of 'you people' (Don Cherry is laughing as I type this, I can hear him) but I DO NOT have enough money in the bank to last quite that long. I know I'll have a steady income, not great but steady. I believe I am fortunate in this respect, what about the rest of the public that is not working?

So where do we go from here? Self -immolating has been on the table for some time now...no, wait a minute- I mean self-isolating! Under no circumstances after reading this do I wish for anyone to go and self-immolate! Go and hide until this is over. Pop your heads out for fresh air and a grocery run once in a while...Hit the drug store when absolutely necessary but DO NOT light yourself on fire!!! Especially at the drug store...

By no means am I stating that I do not believe this to be serious. Nothing could be farther from the truth. Nor am I saying this is being completely blown out of proportion, although in some particular instances it is, yet that seems to be by a select few that this is their own way of coping with a depressing situation that has them feeling this is indeed the Apocalypse.

I assure you it is not.

There are those thinking this is the end of the world as we know it. Jesus has come to take us all home for this is the Second Coming of Christ. The Four Horsemen of The Apocalypse are riding over that last damn ridge...

Fear not fellow babies, these also are not the case...

So in closing...

Calm The F*ck Down!

Wash Your F*cking Hands...

AND DO NOT LIGHT YOURSELF ON FIRE!!!

We will get through this...