Step into my world for a moment will you. Living in a place that for all intents and purposes I do not wish to be, yet because of "circumstance," I remain. I arrived in this godforsaken place two years ago and honestly at that time I had no idea what exactly I was getting myself into, truly I did not. Being of unsound mind upon arriving here in the downtown east-side of Vancouver, still in the depth of a full-blown addiction yet sober, I was certainly in no condition to even fully understand where I was or what I was about to embark upon from any reasonable perspective. Hungover and alone in a city I had not been in for twenty years, no friends, no connections, no home, no money. All I literally had to my name was the suitcase I carried and the clothes therein—most of my other personal belongings in a storage locker, unknowingly at that time, never to be seen again. I was starting over. I was in the downtown east-side.
Have you ever wondered why things happen the way they do? Have you ever awoken in the morning and asked yourself, "What really is the point of my continued existence on this planet?" I don't mean to the point of ending that existence, no, no, not at all—just, what the hell is the point of it all? Probably not quite to that extent, but you get my meaning, right? Truly what is life all about? Do I specifically have a purpose or direction; do I have any idea where my life is headed or where the hell I will end up 20 years from now, or even tomorrow? Sometimes I think my purpose is the same as it always has been, yet lately I seemed to have embarked on a new and different path that I am really enjoying with my past knowledge of a great many things keeping me in bread and water, to put it bluntly.
My favorite place in the sun,
There are many things that throughout the course of my life I have enjoyed. Many of these things I do still enjoy, yet of late I have come to discover the many things I no longer do. The question I had to ask myself predominantly; why? The essence of this marvel of recollection came from one quite simple occurrence just the other day. That being, seeing and hearing a robin perched in a tree roughly ten feet away from where I was perched myself, singing (the robin, not me). That's it, a simple solitary songbird of no particular luminosity, plain old robin red breast, sort of the colour of a blood orange, with the light greyish-brown colouring of the average robin, in an average tree adorned with simple average green leaves. Not a spectacle to behold no matter how you looked at it really, yet I was reminded of the simplicity of the beauty of nature that I was witnessing.
When I first started working; what now seems so very long ago... there was nothing at all in my mind leading me to believe I could work too much. I wanted to work, I had become bored with school, I was not learning anything, and just needed to experience the world as it was. I needed to learn the things of life, I wanted to break free from the tyranny of my parents' regime, and become my own person.