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The Comfort Zone Is the Dead Zone

How to get more satisfaction out of life.

By Gin PerryPublished 7 years ago 3 min read
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A wise man once told me a long time ago "Everything you want is outside of your comfort zone". I thought I knew what he meant and part of me certainly did at the time. But now as I am going through this life, I am realizing more and more how and why these words are true.

What we know becomes comfortable to us. It is easy and predictable and that makes us feel safe. That is why many people stay at their jobs that they have outgrown or stay in a relationship that is no longer nourishing to their being. They yearn for something more yet stay with what they know because venturing outside of that can be daunting.

We might feel unsure as to whether or not we will be able to handle the circumstances that go along with making changes. Will we be able to make the same level of income if we went to a new job? Will we be indefinitely alone if we leave our relationship? We come to expect a certain level of predictability and that gives us confidence. We know we can handle what we know and that is a very comforting thought. Yet, too much predictability runs the risk of dissatisfaction.

When we know exactly what to expect, we can get caught up in the feeling of meaninglessness. That is because predictability does not give us the opportunity for growth. The same wise man told me "We are either growing or we are dying, never neither". We can not stay put. Even when we think we are, change is inevitable so if we are not striving to move forward, we will naturally fall backward.

Growth comes with a level of discomfort. Challenges are not easy to go through but they are nourishing to us on a level that is more profound than we may realize. We gain a sense of worth when we do things that are hard as it builds confidence that we can deal with whatever life throws at us.

As people, we have a need for both known and unknowns to varying degrees. Some people absolutely love the kind of adventure that they don’t know where they’re going to end up next. They approach life with this “go with the flow” attitude. Others need to have a well laid out plan before proceeding and a free flow lifestyle would give them anxiety.

We are all different in our comfort levels. Pushing past our comfort zone will look different depending on the person. For example, some people are incredibly comfortable being naked in public while others cringe at the thought. For the person who is already comfortable bearing it all, there is no growth in them stripping down to their birthday suit. But for the person that can’t stand the thought of others seeing them naked, there is a huge opportunity for growth in shedding some clothes. It is the same action on the surface, but completely different effects on a personal level.

When I say everything we want is outside of our comfort zone, I am not necessarily just talking about things but rather how we want to feel. I believe that inherently, we love to grow and improve, and that is what makes us feel good.

Becoming okay with discomfort and being able to embrace new challenges is the best way to ensure growth. What makes us the most afraid is usually where the biggest opportunity lies. So my advice, passed down from my own teachers is, do that which makes you afraid and uncomfortable and you will push past the limits that you thought you had, but were really only self imposed.

Be all that you can be my friends!

advicemental health
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