The 3 Day Supermodel Diet
Thou shall not repeat diet lies
Relax. It's not anything you think.....and to be honest, there's no dirt left on these diet streets.
Social media killed it (hash tag, no pictures please is so real)....but, I know you're just here for the diet, so let's get into it.
Ever since "clean eating" became main stream....GONE are the days when secret skinny tips were actually REAL (borderline controversial) and no one cared.
Literally read them every weekend in Cosmo, along with all the trashy magazines I could get my paws on. Called my friends to converse.
Aka you can say good bye to scandalous cafe pics in the rain or pictures of celebs REALLY partying.
What? Are you seriously not remembering the boss of all models, on the cover of a famous tabloid magazine (that I will not name) doing a drug, (that I will also not name) at an outdoor cafe.
Like, hi, welcome to Paris, I'm a model having breakfast, because I remember.
And, if my 90s (early two thousand history) serves me correctly, pop culture died in, like, oh four.
No good secrets. No real dirt. Not one person sharing their skinny secrets.
It's all "content" now.
Just little boxes of diet lies and portion distortion, and I'm not into it.
Like, what happened to good old fashioned reporting. I want the DIRT, gym hamsters.....Snapchat says you've been at spin for 4 days.
The secrets. The lies. The betrayals. The party pics. The Cosmo anonymous sex column. Gloria Steinmen's political feature in NY Mag. Like, what happened to media?!
No, real pics. Now it's just the lotion guy from the mall popping up every 4 scrolls, and that's just a never fetch for me. (puts on HONESTY HAT)
Today, I'm dropping real supermodel secrets. The tips you REALLY want to know, the tips that you would normally have to google after this, and, I'm doin' it without the avocado toast.
Fine, slide me a square. (takes huge bite) Btw. Bloggers beware, there's a new sheriff in town.
And, yes, I am wearing my white boots today, go read my fashion post after this....
Anyways. I know that half of these: "Healthy Meal Plan Providers"..."Diet Experts"..."YouTubers"... don't eat a quarter of the meals they tell you they eat or portions that they post.
I watched my friend do this the other day with her acai berry bowl.
Mhm. So, I'm not even being mean because, this is what happens when you have to keep up with "content."
How do I know? Raise your hand if you are currently skinny or have been really skinny.
Okay. Raise your hand if you've ever "tried" to get skinny and/or lose a few pounds...
Do you remember what you were doing? Yea. It wasn't eating all day. It wasn't couch to 5k. Put your phone away.
Or grazing on avocados. I'm not saying avocados aren't healthy or delicious, I just think the world could use some REALNESS/less writing for likes, so let's do some real advice, shall we?
Follow me.... (@chelsea.swift + @chelseaswiftblog = IG)
No over here, real tips drop now:
First up, Cindy (white tank, jean shorts) Crawford.
Aka the only reason any of us tried a Pepsi and pretended to like it. Hey, real supermodel.
Genes help. I feel like I can hear you thinking that, and obviously genes help babe, supermodels are born beautiful, but if you eat bad, you will look bad.
So genes or no genes, maintaining beauty requires love and cucumbers, baby.
Think about your roots. (double meaning)
Like, you CAN correct what god did not give you, if you put the questionable meals down.
Anyways, I love Cindy Crawford's chocolate trick.
Her "craving reducer" is 80% dark chocolate. She'll eat two squares a day, usually after lunch. Sometimes after dinner. Like, I dunno, we'll see how wild Friday night gets, wink, clink. (pours Casa margarita)
Before you start buying dark chocolate M&M's, it's only organic dark chocolate with a cocoa percent of seventy or higher.
The higher the percent, the higher the trace of magnesium which relaxes your nerves and helps "signal" to your body that the meal is over.
I love chocolate. So, obvi, this is something I do after meals, and I've been doing it for years, thank to C.C.
Next up: Kate Moss | The BOSS
There's our tabloid queen. Ugh, BOSS.
My goal is to interview her someday and laugh at the loser that tried to ruin her career. Like, it was breakfast, go get a hobby.
I love her. I love her realness. I love people that are un-apologetically themselves. No rhyme or reason, just doin' life their way.
If you wanna do (insert your bad hobby here) in an interview with me, you can, and I will save that story for my heart (slash) store it away for the grand kids.
When my granddaughter asks me if she should dump her boyfriend and move to Paris; Kate BOSS secrets will be told for inspiration.
One life baby, follow those dreams, write your story. But, okay diet: Coffee and apples.
That's it. Coffee and Apples. Here's another pic... this was THE notable supermodel diet of the 80s and 90s.
Which, JK copied to make her debut on VS.....Mhm.
I could get deeper, but I seriously want to interview her, so Kate, your secrets are safe with me girl.
Kate, part 2, this time: Hudson. Like, ICONS on Icons.
So, basically, I was (still am) obsessed with How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days. So, I felt like I knew her. And since then, we've been friends.
You may or may not remember, but home girl gained 70 pounds with her first baby, and it was devastating for her. You're probably wondering how I know that.....let's queue it.
Like, hello?! Iconic yellow dress! Are we not froze?
And, to wear a backless dress like that took WORK, hunnay.
I know it's blurry, but slapping her abs applies. This was so much work - and I feel like she had to do the whole "it was for the baby" in interviews, but, behind the scenes she slashed gluten, cheese, meat, and cried at the bag of Pirate's Booty in the pantry she wasn't allowed to eat.
Forever never off target but feel free to Goog's it.
You don't slash food like that for no reason, this was a mission for Kate (Goldie Mini) Hudson.
Operation bounce back, and she did just that.
Which was the biggest middle finger of oh six, because the tabloids absolutely did to Kate Hudson - what Kim K thought was happening to her.
Anyways. Not over it, because, who are THEY to insult greatness, like stop. You couldn't wear that yellow dress post flu if you wanted to.
Pulling her diet and workout from an article I read back in the day, because, I can't find it, but I DO remember.
She said....stop trying to find "secrets" to weight loss, and just get your workout done.
She also said, she does an hour of running or Pilates every day, sometimes both, and I remember that specifically, because I remember thinking I'd never run for an hour....and at the time, I thought Pilates was for rich people. (sort of is)
Her diet includes: fruits, nuts, veggies, no meat, no cheese, no gluten.
Real skinny betch facts. Like, welcome to the blog. Queue GIF of me in real life:
By the way, most models are vegan, which is why I don't have a meal plan for you.
Watch, now IG Models probably wanna fight me with their Quinoa deals....
Listen, I don't care if you lie to get a sponsorship, you make that money hunnay, I just won't be swiping up anytime soon.
Plus, now that I'm 80% vegetarian. You are not going to sell me on the oatmeal you cut 4 months ago - when you were moving from a size 4 to a size zero.
The truth is YOU work UP to vegan, not slash and crash into it. Or you will look like this trying:
Some more notable vegan trends to (add) to your diet routine below.
- Claudia Schiffer: Dry Miso Soup Packets + Brown Rice Crackers
- Naomi Campbell: Organic Fruit + Vegetable Juice
- Dolly Parton: Miracle Cabbage Soup
- Beyonce: Vegan meal service+ Cayenne Lemon Cleanse
- Jennifer Anniston: 16 hour fast + celery juice + alkaline diet
I'd never recommend any of these diets for people who are wondering.
Actually, Kate Hudson's diet is pretty normal. Just no cheats or junk food.
I have also never tried any of these diets, I just think the truth is important.
It's like one day, trainers are spilling celebrities 4 hour workouts, and the next thing we know, models eating pasta is trending on IG.
It just sends the wrong impression. It really does. Models work hard for their bodies and they should be proud. Plus, who are we to judge?
If you are a size zero because you drink coffee and eat apples, be honest about it. If you do an hour of cardio, tell us. If you fast, explain more. Sharing is caring people, and it makes me love you WAY more. Keep it real.
For more honesty, girl talk, realness, REAL weight loss tips (-50 pounds down and toning boo), daily motivation, inspiration, and SOUL much more
|| Check out my podcast on Spotify! Search: Chelsea Swift Is Your Spirit Animal and then obvi, DM me on IG after. (@chelsea.swift + @chelseaswiftblog) + www.ChelseaSwiftBlog.com