Soul Train

There was a consistent sway beneath her body as she shifted her head pushing her face back into the pillow. The sounds outside were loud, too loud and they reminded her of a train. A train? How, and what made her get on a train? Ahashka Cree didn’t mind a lot of things, but motion sickness was one of those… she’d avoid, if at all possible. Oh so, she could remember her past, she knew her name, and she knew she had made hangovers a thing of the past, so… how had she lost a few days then?

Speaking of? What was the day? What was the last day she could recall? With nothing coming to mind she took a long slow deep breath and was immediately assaulted by a stench that moved through the small enclosure as if on a mission. An herbal misty aroma mixed that paired terribly with the overwhelming scent of rotting meat set too close to an open flame. As she moved to press herself off what she could only assume was some sort of stone mattress, she wrenched her crust filled eyes open.

The soft mutterings of a person nearby touched her ears as the woman recycling the string of words moved within her peripheral vision. Though she wasn’t paying attention at first, the expression of anger coming from the woman was so persistent, Cree couldn’t help but wonder and listen intently to what she was saying while staring out the small window of her compartment curious how even the lights of the train seemed to drown in the darkness.

“Fools. A guide they have made me. To waste talent such as mine on the responsibilities of a conductor! Fools, foolish indeed.”

As it stood, being her first time on a train, she didn’t like it. The room was a bit wider than two coffins and though the window was shut tight there was an unmistakable high-pitched howling of the wind colliding with the exterior of the locomotive. The sounds of the metal against metal brought her back to the moment as the sounds become even more violent with each passing heartbeat. The obvious questions began to flood her mind as if the speed of this train were motivating them.

Only when a feeling that crawled across Cree’s skin did she realize the mutterings had ceased and in their place was the intense gaze of the woman whose reflection she could see in the glass. Pretending as if she wasn’t, she observed the woman’s reflection. With something casually twirling in her hands she shifted inside the arch of the doorway and leaned her shoulder against the inside jamb of the door before setting she set one foot atop the other. A casual and comfortable stance without even a hint of leaving.

Cree assumed then that this woman had some sort of purpose as Cree turned her body toward the woman beginning to offer a greeting. Before Cree completed the turn, she noticed the eyes of the woman; angry, intense, interested, deep brown, all these words came to mind as the woman’s energy, too intense to be that of a stranger smashed against her.

More questions flooded her thoughts as Cree worked to quiet her mind. Perhaps she was someone from her not-so-distant past? The portion she couldn’t remember?

The woman was a stranger to Cree, likely of Native American or Hispanic descent, shorter than average with shoulder length silver and brown curly-ish hair that bounced above her shoulders. The fixed expression in her eyes countered the gentle and kind smile that grew upon her lips, something that made Cree’s instincts say it was best to flee and flee fast. A conversation she had with a mentor some years ago came into her mind.

“How does one handle the energy of others that crashes about as a tsunami might?”

“Just breathe.”

When the woman stuck out her hand and took a step toward Cree offering it, the sticky energy felt heavier and unavoidable, like predator approaching prey. Again, she drew her mind to a calm and reached out forming a grin and then a fist that she used to awkwardly “fist bump” the knuckles of the woman’s hand. a conversation she had with a mentor some years ago came into her mind.

“How does one handle the energy of others that crashes about as a tsunami might?”

"Just breathe.”

So, Cree exhaled and then counted the seconds as she inhaled and made every next move as deliberate as she could. Better to focus on the self, she thought as she simultaneously quirked a brow, smiled and tilted her head at the peculiar demeanor of this assumably friendly woman.

“Oh, dearie me! You must be confused alright. It’s not just you, really, we were a bit surprised here too, at your uh... arrival.”

The woman shifted and bent slightly at the waist, something like what Cree could only assume was an attempt at a humble and inviting posture. With her chin pointed down and those beady eyes not digging into her soul, it was almost convincing.

Cree watched as the woman lifted her gaze as her once fidgety hand shifted to something like a pat on Cree shoulder. A move that made Cree pull back and away just before the woman awkwardly moved back to unconsciously shifting what Cree now could see was a small laser pointer pen.

“I am Professor Alejandra Argueta, and I’ll be your guide for the remainder of this ride.”

This move did not seem to shock her at all as she moved through what Cree could only guess was a well-rehearsed introduction. Professor Argueta seemed bored and frustrated as she stepped back into the doorway, continuing to fidget with the object in her hand that Cree now recognized as a laser pen.

“Cree, you can call me Cree. Could you excuse me a moment though?”

Cree looked long and hard at the woman gesturing toward the door with her palm up, moments ticked by, and Cree began to understand this woman had no intention of leaving her alone.

“Oh, surely. Surely. I’ll just be right here waiting. There isn’t a lot of time you see, not a lot of time at all.”

Just before Alejandra Argueta shifted to the side and turned to face the aisle rather than the inside of the compartment, she reviewed what she remembered about the young woman. Not yet past her twenties, Professor Argueta noticed Cree wince as she moved to tie her shoulder length sandy brown hair behind head. A move that made her high cheek bones and strong jawline overwhelmingly obvious. Cree had begun straightening her long leather jacket and form-fitting blue jeans as Professor Argueta looked down again at the laser pointer in her hands. As she listened to Cree rummaging through everything in the room she stopped fiddling with the laser pen when she saw Cree slip off her boots and check the insoles of both, a clever place to stow things and a place Professor Argueta would not soon forget. Professor Argueta sighed heavily when she heard the floor beneath Cree squeak. They could finally move this along!

As soon as Professor Argueta turned and leaned into the aisle outside the compartment, she clicked on the laser pen and found herself giggling when her pet’s reflected gaze immediately shone from around the corner, sitting on her conductors’ seat at the end of the car.

“A dream then perhaps?” Cree’s voice leaked into the aisle where Professor Argueta moved the laser pointer up and down the length of the train car enticing her pet from around the corner.

“How else could I have none of my belongings? Unless they were stolen?” Cree pronounced the last word with intent and let the hang in the air like a question.

“What was that dearie? Material possessions rarely make it on this side, don’t ya know?”

Another giggle escaped her as her pet leaped from side to side, looking to her for approval when he’d ‘catch’ the light.

“…And child, there is no day here, only night.”

“…where, pray tell, is ‘here’?”

The woman shrugged her shoulders before commenting in an amused tone.

“Why we are on a runaway train, of course! And this is no dream. It is very real, very real for us both.”

Though slightly annoyed by the questions Professor Argueta gave Cree a smile, sizing her up just before she stepped into the aisle and began moving toward the front of the car.

Professor Argueta noted that Cree didn’t seem the least bit intimidated or phased by any assumed authority the train car’s Conductor, Professor Argueta may have. As far as she could tell Cree could prove to be a more of a challenge both mentally and physically than originally assumed. Such was the nature of science. Professor Argueta laughed to herself as she moved further down the main aisle of the train. Musing as she could, that Cree’s stubborn mentality and assumed intelligence would crumble against the immense pressures of dianetics.

Cree looked out from her small room before entering the aisle, first toward what she assumed was the back because it was opposite the direction the train traveled, then toward what must have been the front. Cree watched curiously as Professor Argueta had found another place to lean against a wall, moving her wrist as if the shining laser were a baton and she were conducting a symphony, but for who?

When she followed the laser to its end what she saw there could have very well been the source of the stench that kept offending her senses. The creature looked and acted like a pet, but it was not any she had ever known existed. It seemed to move faster on all fours yet when it stood it was almost as tall as a small child. It had a reptilian outer crust and its muscle groups were disproportional to the size of its body; short torso and short limbs coupled with overgrown biceps and quadriceps. The smashed face of a pug and a bulldog complete with a large brow, a cleft lip, and large canine teeth. The eyes were regular sized, dark orbs with a reflective trait like a dog. When the creature finally noticed her, watching it… they stared at each other for a long moment stone cold, unphased.

As a child she had seen, observed and felt many things that she had been told repeatedly, ‘weren’t real’, ‘weren’t there’ or ‘weren’t true’. Family and friends that misunderstood her observations of the dead outside their own funeral, as a need for attention had ensured that she always felt more guilt that a small child should.

After many years of the beratement, and disbelief it had become second nature for Cree to stop sharing, and all together acknowledging all the things that she, not they could see, hear, and feel. Instead, she noted the occurrences others seemed to not notice as odd, or strange, and dismissed them right into the recesses of her mind. A place where her subconscious could play ping pong with the concepts and ‘what if’s’.

Though she was usually visited by lost or leaving spirits, there was a darker presence that she only began to clearly distinguish after years of research and experience. They say the devil is full of trickery, but what they don’t tell you is it’s not something you’ll ever notice in yourself, not unless you look and listen to why’s and the how’s of your treatment toward others.

Cree was certain that Professors Argueta’s pet playing with the laser pointer was something that existed in the gray, not in the black and white sense of the cosmos. It had an ability to move through material objects at will, as well as also having a physical form, she noted as the creature looked away from her and back to the laser pointer. In one move it leaped and snatched the edge of an overhead compartment before curling its body doing summersaults in the air until it opened at precisely the right moment to ‘catch’ the end of the light before it hit the ceiling again. Impressive move for a little dude, she thought noting how well the two anticipated each other’s moves.

The sound of a grandfather clock began to chime loudly over the loudspeaker startling Cree and immediately halting the two playing whose attention was suddenly turned toward Cree. Professor Argueta’s beady eyes bore into Cree just before the creature flung its body across the room to landing gently on Professor Argueta’s shoulder.

A step forward put Cree in the narrow center aisle of the train car, she noticed several small doorways on either side exactly like the one she had left both behind her in front of her. In each she noticed the accommodations were largely the same, and though her nature was not to be a snoop she peaked inside the rooms hoping to find answers to her unasked questions.

Upon approaching the first room she was overwhelmed with another smell, frankincense and myrrh seeped into her pores lightly holding her heart. The moment was lost as she looked upon a tall lean man with a large, messy beard, as he charged the small space toward her. At first glance she paused thinking he was someone she recognized, the man was so startled by her reaction he stopped midstride and outstretched his long and lean right arm and shook a fist at her. The pale pasty, spotted skin hung from his bones as if there were never any muscle and the only thing he wore, hanging just below a large protruding stomach, was a pair of stained and torn boxer briefs, and long crew neck socks.

“You must be saved! Saved by the savior! Our waring religious views matter not, saints or sinners alike! Our Lord Jesus Christ died for all of our sins! Your sins!”

Without intending to her brows furrowed and she chuckled softly shaking her head. The man’s face turned to fury as dramatically adjusted his approach. Within the blink of an eye, his persona changed completely. A tone of voice that became deeper, more aggravated with his arms crossed at his waist as if he wore a cowl robe. When his posture bent as if showing humility she could see the muscles in his body quivering with tension, deceiving the assumed humble exterior. When he spoke this time it was with more aggression and accusation.

“The wrath of God is mighty indeed,” he said as he slowly raising only his gaze, long stringy white hair falling around his sunken features, creating a very sinister look.

“You will burn in the eternal hellfire’s if you do not obey this command!”

It was then, when the man squinted his eyes and grimaced at her, it was then that she could see the man’s resemblance to her father. A laugh built in her chest as the entire situation screamed of a farce and she easily dismissed this man for nothing less than a fraud. Strength of will like that of her fathers? Will not change on a whim for anyone or anything. More stubborn than any bull, more holy than any priest, with more conviction than any hang man, there was no other like him. The thought brought her comfort as she chuckled her response to the silly man.

“And what, say you, Sir? Of the Mercy of God? Or the need for hormones in heaven?”

Professor Argueta eyes widened with shock as Cree turned toward her and the front of the train again.

“Oh! So just anyone can curse you to hell? And you do what? Just take it? Such a cowardly response.”

Cree was shocked at such a comment and laughed imply because no other response seemed fitting. Though she knew little about Scripture she was sure there was some phrase about turning the other cheek written somewhere, on something. The momentary lapse in Professors Argueta’s act seemed intentional and more in line with the negative energy she clocked earlier, rather than the kind tone and comments that she used like weapons.

The man’s voice seeped into the compartment next-door where Catherine Bankim’s stared out the small window with a tingle starting at the base of her spine. A sense of wonder overcome her as she pictured the face of the woman arguing with her zealot neighbor. Imagine the odds that she would get to face her nemesis again, in this place. A nervousness grew in her stomach as she anticipated the potential argument.

When Cree turned toward the young woman, something shifted in her sight and it was as if she was looking at Catherine through her mind’s eye, rather than through her pupils. Catherine was a friend she had met just after exiting the military. A generally proud young woman who in Cree’s mind’s eye stood slumped over, her wrists at her sides bleeding from what appeared to be several attempts at her life.

As she looked up from the blood crusted jeans Cree was always shocked at how they could have been mistaken for twins, their features so closely resembling the other. Catherine had bleach blonde hair, which laid perfectly against her rounded porcelain face, with sky-blue orbs shining with a sense darkness that always set Cree on her heels. Around her neck in Cree’s mind’s eye was a collar. It resembled something from medieval times and the chain that fell behind her like a long ponytail shook forcing Cree to follow that line to the large hand which held the chain up against his chest.

It was then that Catherine’s fist broke through whatever haze Cree had stumbled into, that same fist connected twice with Cree’s face before she knew what was happening. In a move to find herself Cree turned her back to the front of the train car and covered her body and part of her face with one arm taking another blow to the head. The move gave her time to step in close to Christine’s right side before reaching with the left hand for the back of Catherine’s skull. Cree silently thanked herself for all the times she allowed herself to lose in training as she realized Catherine’s face was directly in line with Cree’s knee. As Cree began to lift her knee to meet Catherine’s face, she suddenly felt and saw large arms grab her around the chest and pull her back on her heels. Thankfully even though a large pair of arms had wrapped her chest she was still able to kick Catherine in the face before the man dropped on his back to the ground taking Cree with him in a vice grip of a hug.

A grumble came from the man just before Cree wiggled herself around to face him.

“You don’t have any friends.”

At the realization she was breathing this man’s air, the only reaction Cree allowed was that of an involuntary curl of her lip before she moved to straddle his waist and break this insane hold, he had on her. A large older man, someone that she also wondered if she recognized grimaced back at her and laughed. The move gave her enough time to lean back far enough to use his strength against him, as he struggled to hold her close and she fought to pull away, when she had enough space, she stopped fighting and let him pull her into him as she positioned her hand against his windpipe.

With the now coughing man below and behind her, Cree followed the energy ahead of her to Professor Argueta’s wide-eyed expression.

“And? Are you not going to defend yourself!?”

A slow inhale in as Cree started to count before continuing forward.

“What they do, how they live, is about them not me. Why must I teach you of such simple things? My challenges are my own, regardless of how or who brought them into my possession. And their challenges are theirs.”

As Cree stepped closer to the entrance of the second car, a small baby creature not unlike Argueta’s clamored past Cree and hopped right onto Catherine’s back as she stood.

“Buying their way into purgatory perhaps?”

Cree asked looking up at only dropped her gaze from Professor Argueta’s gaze intent on burrowing through her.

"Oh! My! What a sense of humor you have! Purgatory?”

Professor Argueta’s laugh was so full it caused her entire body to giggle and shake more so than the train was doing already.

“Where does this train stop Professor?”

Cree shouted over the growing roar of the train.

“Nowhere, that’s where.”

An almost sweet voice came from a man who stood staring right at Cree from inside the doorway of the last compartment just before the restroom sign. A man Cree was certain had never skipped, not even one meal. What, with his width being the same as his height seeming somewhat proportional was only possible for a who had been large his entire life.

“Ah, uh huh. And how do people get off this wretched locomotive?”

The man lifted an old-style pipe to his lips puffing away until he caught the tobacco alight again.

“They don’t.”

The man wore a smart suite with a coat tail and a top hat, over his left eye was a eyeglass like something out of the eighteen hundreds. The large white beard that covered his chin was peppered with dark strands here and there and the man stroked it as if deep in thought. As Cree was nearly past the man stuck out his cane to stop Cree as she began to move past him.

“You heard the joke about the woman who wanted to change the world?”

Cree kicked the cane from her path before the silly man to continued.

“She figured out, she had to be he!”

The man laughed so heartily that Cree could not help but laugh right along with him, louder and more sarcastically.

“Have you heard,” she pretended to catch her breath. “Have you heard the one about the child they found dead on international boarders?”

Cree stopped laughing abruptly, straightened her posture and glared at the man before adding. “Over thirty different sets of DNA inside of them… and they are one of thousands.”

For the first time that evening Professor Argueta’s jaw nearly unhinged and fell from her face before she huffed and turned very sharply away from Cree.

They neared the second train and Cree could hear the sound of electricity getting louder, it sounded as if exposed wires were being met by something material, a constant zap-zap-fizzle sound became less noticeable as Professor Argueta began to rant.

“Such a silly line of thinking that will surely get you killed. The mercy of God, forgiving or taunting people who torment and harass you!?”

“Ahh… What about hating the sin, not the sinner? Another concept in the bible somewhere, I swear.”

Cree’s words seemed to fly past Professor Argueta quicker than she could finish them.

“Let me show you how deep the treachery and betrayal are embedded in your life! Perhaps then you will react accordingly! The city of light is where your soul belongs, and by the good graces of the Preacher’s Wife, I will make it so.”

Cree had become distracted by the rant and the increasingly loud sounds around her. It was not until too late that she saw the flash of excitement behind the eyes of Professor Argueta’s creature watching her from just inside the entryway of the second car. It was in that very moment that she caught sight of the exposed portion of a large wire emitting electrical charges that was being passed from the creature to Professor Argueta. Within the blink of an eye it happened, the wire set against her side as she stepped through the open doors of the second car. The realization happened only long enough for her brain to register that she was being electrocuted before her vison went dark.

When she looked around the new surroundings she could hear the train faintly in the back of her mind, yet in front of and around her were people knelt over her, their eyes shone with kindness and genuine excitement when Cree looked at them confused. Though this seemed far better than waking up on the train she had a feeling, something in her gut telling her to simmer down, something was afoot.

They helped her to her feet and patted her back softly, not many words seemed to escape them. A silent retreat or a space without sound, she wondered as even the rustling of the leaves they walked through made no sound. The people smiled and bowed as she made her way through the crowd always with one person or another hooking her elbow and leading her further into the crowd. As Cree was rushed through a woman handed her a cowl robe, nodding then gesturing with her hands to indicate that Cree should put it over her own clothes.

They all seemed very kind and inviting with their smiles and the multitude of hand shaking happening around and to her as she was almost escorted to the front of a large church like building. There were a few odd looks from others in the group at the cowl robe she still held in her hand, her hesitation seemed to turn some smiles into frowns and once soft eyes became glares.

It seemed appropriate to dress the part seeming how everyone had suddenly stopped and whispered amongst themselves until she began to pull the robe over her head. After she was dressed the crowd begun anxiously moving forward again, it was then she noticed the tall church like building they moved toward. They, as in dozens of people she had not been able to see until then. They seemed to fall to either side of her suddenly creating a clear path, not unlike Moses parting the Red Sea, causing the hairs on the back of her neck and arms began to stand on end.

The front of the building was daunting with its beautiful ornate designs etched in the stone. Cree looked above the doorway to see marvelous stained-glass artwork and yet it was simple words written above the archway that caught her attention.

‘Regarding hope and faith; hold fast, lest ye be lost forever.”

Their mummers and excitement became somehow infectious, she could feel the joy pouring from all around her as the tide seemed to sweep her forward. At the entrance now, when they pushed her to stand alone in front of the large wooden doors, a lump began to crawl its way up her throat. When she turned around to see if there was any other path their smiles faded completely and in their eyes was a sort of hunger she didn’t understand.

As the doors creaked open slowly Cree looked to the space created between and felt the hands on her back shoving her forward. A few steps in she squinted and rubbed her eyes as she looked up at the high vaulted ceilings, and the choir box just above and behind her as she continued into the space.

“Why does she get to meet them?” A few hushed whispers carried toward her.

Ahead of her were twenty or more rows of pews, neatly at the backs were reading material, things one would find at a newspaper stand or a liquor store, not here. As she turned back toward the center aisle and the podium where she could see the silhouettes of a tall, large man and an average sized woman.

From the corner of her eye, she caught movement and her instincts flared into high gear, their movements were quick and there were many of them. They hid beneath the shadows of the pews, after she saw one, she could see them all. Everywhere around her, in every shadow, she could see their reflective gazes staring back at her. Without thinking she picked up her pace as the country song that always came to her in times like these ran straight into her mind.

“When you’re going through hell.”

At the base of the stage, she stopped and stared blankly at the people who smiled warmly back.

In the hand of the preacher’s wife Cree noticed a letter, and on the tables nearby them Cree noticed journals, not unlike the variation of styles she picked throughout her life.

“You don’t remember us, but we remember you and we have acquired and assessed some of your most intimate and private moments. We did this for you, to make you better because we know that with the right motivation you will ultimately choose the path, we designed for you.”

“Well clearly, you haven’t been paying attention at all…” Cree began to speak just as she was flung back onto the speeding train where Professor Argueta looked upon her with a sense of fury.

Cree didn’t wait, she didn’t pause, the moment she knew her legs could move she was up and running through the train. As she clamored through to what she thought was the front, she realized that all the people she recognized from the back of the train now stood in front of her, arms wide enough to catch her. They had flipped the train. As she collided into them another exposed electrical wire touched her bare skin before the room went dark she saw Professor Argueta’s grinning face.

“Rinse and repeat Dearie.”