Silly Thoughts I Have!

Thoughts I have:

I am not even sure there is an answer. So, if you have one, sweet.

I took a shower yesterday and, as a lot of us are prone to do, we avoid direct water on our affected limb/s. Now the shower is not really part of this thought process, it is just where it began. I got out of the shower and my leg was thumping, as usual. I looked down and my leg is always swollen, so nothing new here, but I took a good look at my foot. I noticed it was dry, dry, dry. I just stepped out of the shower, people. DRY, I tell you! OK, well, I can't bend my leg to actually reach my foot. Also, ladies, some of you will relate, but my boobs get in the way and breathing becomes a challenge, you feel me? So regardless, my feet do not receive the care that they once knew and loved from me, I am telling you; hard, dry skin on the sides of my feet, by my toes, at my heels, creeping, and it is getting annoying. Not to mention a tad bit painful.

Now, I do not like my feet being touched, EVER. This is not new. This was the way it was (hmm, is?) even before the RSD diagnosis. I broke my cousin's nose once for having tickled my feet. I tell you, I am not responsible for your injuries. I also cracked my best friend's nose for having just touched my foot while threatening to tickle me. I am not a violent person, I promise you, but there is just something about my feet that sets me off. This is just a "NO! GO! ZONE!" for me! Moving on. So my poor feet, the fact that I already have an issue with being touched there, and now RSD on top of it—don't forget the "boob" conundrum. You can start to see my issue.

Now let's get back to my thought: I wonder if I could stand getting a pedicure, for the sake and care of my feet? This thought has me seriously stumped. I need my feet cared for. I cannot care for them in the way I once could. I hate my feet being touched, I have RSD and now am hyper-sensitive; swollen and in some degree of pain all the time, so this is me weighing out the pros and cons...This does not seem to be going in my favor, on either side of the debate. This debate that has been going on in my head for the last 24 hours. I imagine this debate will continue until I turn into a harpy, with talons and all. Maybe I will sprout wings and fly away, I don't know, and then I could avoid this "thought" altogether. Yeah! Become a harpy and terror scream, then fly away. That seems like the best idea I have come up with yet!!!!

Note:

I have RSD, which is very painful and not at all fun, but I sometimes have these thoughts and they come to me in such humorous ways that I feel compelled to write them down.

I have written another that I hope is approved to share, but I have noticed my posts here are dark. That dark is not “bad,” and we all need a moment to wallow in our suffering, but we should not stay there.

The isolation that I have been feeling comes from many places. Healing from deep sadness comes when you realize that sometimes your sadness is your drug and, like with all addictions, humor may not come to me every day, but I will not give up. I will fight this battle head on any way I can. Today I may laugh, tomorrow I may cry, and maybe I will cry for three weeks, but I intend to keep going on this earth despite pain, sadness, loss, or otherwise.

As part of my healing, I will write. Good or bad, I will write.

Today is OK.

Tomorrow is not promised.