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Serial Love

Our love wasn't real.

By Nicholas WoodsPublished 7 years ago 2 min read
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Why is it now that everything I have been seeing is a lie? What did I have wrong with me that lead me to believe that the people around me did not exist? My brother called it schizophrenia, a mental disorder involving a breakdown in the relation between thought, emotion and behavior, leading to faulty perception, inappropriate actions and feelings, withdrawal from reality and personal relationships into fantasy and delusion, and a sense of mental fragmentation. When he told me that from everything he has heard me say about my lover, that he didn't like him and wanted to meet him to make sure everything was okay.

Daniel, my boyfriend, I was only able to meet him during certain times of the day and every other day of the week. When we first started spending time together we were happy and he would tell me how he was so proud to meet someone like me, but as the days went on and the time got shorter of each of our dates he got worse. He told me how horrible of a person I was and that I needed help. He wasn't the only person who told me that, I had other 'friends' that I heard it from too. They tried to convince me to do horrible things. Things that when I was a kid, I would have never thought of doing.

It was only a matter of time until I finally gave in and listened to my group of friends and my boyfriend. My first act of murder was with someone very close to me, and that is when my brother decided to get involved in my relations to my friends. He wanted to find out the group of people that I was hanging around when I had murdered my own mother. The only one that knew about it was my brother because he walked into the house when I was doing it, and all my friends left. They left me alone in the scene of a crime I committed. Honestly, it was a surprise when he didn't immediately call the cops and tell him what he saw, he just grabbed my arms and lead me to a chair to sit down. That is when I told him everything, what my friends and my boyfriend had been convincing me to do and that I didn't listen to them until now, and it was possibly one of the worst things I have done.

When my brother found out that none of these people were real and they were only visible to me, he decided that I needed help. He took me to a hospital, to get me diagnosed with whatever it was called. They suggested to put me in a hospital but no one had the money for it, and so I was supposed to go to jail because of the acts of murder that I had caused and could possibly cause in the future.

Schizophrenia, the one reason I can't believe anything I see once again. The one love I had wasn't real, in fact, he encouraged me to do criminal things daily, and only promised to stay with me if I went through with them. It was then that no matter the cost, I decided I needed help. I couldn't lose another person that I loved. My last attempt to kill someone was myself, that was once again before I was found, and led to the hospital.

mental healthpsychology
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