Paganism Found Me

I previously wrote an article called “A Church of Abusers” (feel free to check out that article also), talking about my experiences in the christian church and with christianity in general. I briefly mentioned in that article that I am now a pagan witch and that being on this path has helped, not only my mental health, but helped me discover who I truly am.

When I started my journey into witchcraft, I knew there were many different ways to be a witch and many different religions practice witchcraft. Witchcraft is a craft, not a religion in itself. You can be pagan and be a witch. Atheist and a witch. You can be Muslim and a witch. And, as much as I dislike the religion and most of the people in it, christian (I do not capitalize these words because I have very little respect for the religion or its followers) and a witch (though the bible says you’re not supposed to practice witchcraft, I’m not exactly sure how christian witches work around that). I went into the craft just for the craft itself, not with the intent of becoming pagan or even working with any deities. I did not seek them out.

Well, they found me, and apparently had found me long before I even knew I would get serious about practicing witchcraft.

Hekate (or Hecate) is the Greek goddess of witches, crossroads, and the night. She is associated with many different things and goes by many different names. I had very little knowledge of her when I first heard her name. But after that, I kept hearing her name more and more and more. And I kept becoming more and more curious about her.

The only way I knew, for sure, that she was trying to contact me was, finally, through a dream. I usually do not remember my dreams, but this one will always live in my memory. I was sitting on my bed with my tarot deck. I layed out three cards. I flipped the first two, I do not remember what those two cards were, but they are unimportant to this story. The last card was flipped and it was not a tarot card. It was a picture of Hekate, holding her torches (she is also known as torch-bearer), with her name, HEKATE, in all caps, under the picture. I immediately woke up. I remember whispering into the dark, “ok, ok, I get it now”. The next morning, I ordered a book on Hekate and bought her a candle for my altar area.

The book I bought was “Keeping her keys” by Cyndi Brannen (one of many books I have now, maybe I’ll do a book recommendation list soon). I highly recommend this book! It’s amazing! I started learning more about Hekate, the many different sides and aspects of her. She is so much more than what I originally thought. She is the goddess of witches. She is the keeper of the keys of the world. She is the world’s soul. She is the queen of the night and the dark mother. She is the storm-bringer. The mistress of corpses. And I’m still learning more and more about her all the time!

I’ve already overcome so much with Hekate and have already started to undo years of religious brainwashing and the trauma it has caused, but I still have so much more work to do. I have already seen a major difference though. I’m more confident in who I am now. I feel free to be my most authentic self without fear of damnation or punishment. I have a renewed craving for knowledge that I lost being trapped in the christian church. I feel more connected to my emotions, especially my anger. My anger is a part of who I am, it is not evil, it can be powerful and righteous. All these things I’m still having to unlearn to become the person I have always meant to be.

To all my friends who are still stuck in the christian faith and know that is not where they belong, I’m with you and I’m rooting for you. Breaking free is hard, but so rewarding.

Blessed be!

Meg :)