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My Spiritual Awakening

What Is It?

By teisha lesheaPublished 4 years ago 5 min read
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Unsplah Photo by Slava B

I've been avoiding this topic for some time now because I wasn't sure if others could relate to my process. By all means, I am in no way a spiritual guru. I've not traveled, written a book, or been a participant in Oprah's Super Soul Sunday discussions. This past summer has been an exciting, exhausting, unsure, and happy one all at once. As you go through the therapy process as I have, you will come to a point where you feel like you've hit a wall. Meeting with my therapist once a week and completing the suggested homework assignments just made me physically and mentally exhausted. I wanted to give up; I tried to run, I wanted to continue to make bad habits and continuing my self-sabotage. Why? Because it was so much easier. After explaining to my therapist that I was ready to throw in the towel, it was one thing that she asked me that lit the flame to my awakening. The question was, "Even though you feel this way, what was your motivation to get up and come visit me today?"

I didn't ponder on that question as I usually would do. My answer was simple, "I came because deep down inside, I see that little flicker of light at the end of the tunnel." Deep down, I knew that my past experiences aren't a premise of my life. I realized sitting in that office that this process was the beginning of something special.

I must state that I am an empath, and I now embrace every aspect of what an empath is. According to pychalive.com, "empaths are highly sensitive individuals, who have a keen ability to sense what people around them are thinking and feeling. A psychologist may use the term empath to describe a person that experiences a great deal of empathy, often to the point of taking on pain of others at their own expense." Being an empath has allowed my other senses to synchronize together. I at first bottled it up like many things hoping that if I ignored the urge, it would go away. The more I resisted, the more the call would come. It felt like a big ball of energy. The only other option to give energy life was to release it. Every morning before work, I would say, "Please open my eyes, ears, and heart to make me see things I need to see and hear the things I needed to hear." It was more like a mantra. I had to force myself to hear the good, the bad, and the ugly.

Unsplash Photo by Lesly Juarez

I don't exactly know the time or the place in which it occurred, but I started to realize the people around me more. How they walked, how they talked to others, and about themselves. It was some individuals who secreted energy that made me nervous at times. It seemed contrary, it appeared devilish and malicious. It just showed me all of the things I didn't want to be. After about a month or so, I realized the more I spoke the mantra, the more things became clear. We've all had those moments where we sit, and all of a sudden have that urge to do something but don't know what that something is, or you have the urge to get up and go but don't have a clue where you want to go. With spiritual awakening, you have visions of whom you want to become, what you look like, how you talk, how you interact with people, what you want to accomplish and how to go about doing it. Those answers that you've been seeking for months and years smack you in the face all at once. There is a feeling of anxiousness, motivation, and energy that you've never experienced. It comes in the form of adrenaline.

“Your visions will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.” – C.G. Jung

Once you see, feel, touch, and taste the vision, the only way for that to happen is to execute. With any dream, somethings have to be sacrificed or let go. Those things can be anything from a bad habit to a so-called friend, or even possibly a love interest that you've allowed them to overstay their welcome. I made it clear in my affirmations that I was willing and open to making these necessary changes. I'm considered an over-thinker. I can't make the right decision without weighing the pros and cons and being indecisive. I found myself letting people go, the things that I once cried about were no longer an issue. I stopped caring. When you can see your path, you become laser-focused on it. You don't have time to mingle or entertain people who aren't fulling your purpose or at least aligned with your mindset. During this process, you will regret nothing. You will discover that your goal is so much bigger than you.

Things I thought I would never do I all of a sudden had the urge to do. Us humans have the world, in which we see it, backwards. We tend to get lazy by always wanting to seek things. You go into the store, and you browse for things that spark your interest. Soon enough, you will surround yourself with things that serve as instant gratification, so then you buy more. We are all unique in our own right. Once you realize that you have the power and the will to paint your portrait, you will feel empowered to paint on your canvas the way you want.

Although my days aren't consistent and tend to be longer (thanks to the ending of daylight savings), I still feel content and happy. Here is how you know when your spirit is alive and well. When you observe your surroundings and see it in shambles but still smile and even laugh, not a person, object, or a thing can bring you out of your joy. You found your happy place. That place feels so good and comfy that you become selfish and never want to leave it. That's when you know that your spirit will be alive and well.

"Before you find out who you are, you have to figure out who you aren't..."

― Iyanla Vanzant

spirituality
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About the Creator

teisha leshea

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