My 90 Pound Weightloss Journey

"The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step." -Lao Tzu

Living in denial was a concept I knew all too well. It was summer 2015. I was miserable, and still unable to come to terms with why I was feeling worse by the day. Through my reflection, I now acknowledge that after years of feeling like a doormat for countless people, rather than taking it out on them, I redirected the anger towards myself. Self-harm can be exercised in a variety of ways. One of the methods I turned to in attempt to ease my pain was binge eating.

In July of 2015, I was convinced by my mother to face my fear, admit I have a problem, and go see my primary care physician for my first physical and routine labs in what was about three years. On July 25th, 2015, I received the wake up call of my life. No 19-year-old should ever know the feeling of his or her doctor saying, "Either get it together, or you won't live much longer at the rate you're going." I went home that evening, test results in hand, and with a heavy heart. I recall looking in the mirror and seeing someone I no longer recognized. The person I saw staring back at me was full of hatred and self-loathing. As difficult as it was and still is to admit, there was also a part of me that did not care if my life was cut short, because I did not see any value in living it. My confidence was long gone with no hope of retrieving it in sight.

As I look back nearly three years later, I am unable to remember what brought me to the decision to be courageous enough to change, rather than lose myself entirely. I was so full of negativity; I am surprised that something positive in such a small increment was able to influence me to change my entire life around. On July 26th, 2015, I began my weight loss journey. I did not have a goal weight, but rather, I had a wellness goal-- simply get to a point where my health issues are reversed, and my routine labs are no longer considered "high risk."

I am proud to say that within about a year and five months, on December 2nd, 2016, I made my goal. Though I accomplished this tremendous task, I still was not satisfied. I wanted to improve my health further. It was around that time that my uncle, Moshe, was hospitalized and not long after, passed away at the age of 67 of the same complications that very well could have happened to me had I chosen not to alter my path. I was very close to my uncle, and his death left a life-long impact on me. It was my second wake up call. I knew I could do better, and I wanted to make him proud. I began an even stricter diet and workout routine until I not only met my final goal, but I exceeded it.

I began my journey at 230 pounds. I was finally within a healthy range after losing 55 pounds. I made the goal to lose 25 more pounds, and ended up losing another 35 due to my determination, patience, and the support of my loved ones. It was no easy task, as it took having to overcome a great deal of adversity mentally, physically and emotionally.

My weight loss journey is a nearly three year long story. While this serves as a brief glance at what I had to overcome, there is still so much more to what I had to do, what steps I had to take, and further details as to how I finally did it. I am very excited to share more about my experience overtime in future blog posts, in hopes of inspiring my readers to make the changes they wish to see in themselves, too.