Mindfulness - How?

I keep getting told to be mindful.

"Mindfulness is the key!" I keep getting told. Whether its my friends, partner, therapist...they all keep telling me the same thing. However, what exactly is "mindfulness"? At first I thought it had to do with self-awareness, and how my behavior effects others. Then, one day in group therapy, the therapist asks us all to close our eyes and be mindful of the things around us. He asked us to tap into our five sense.

What do we smell? I smelled freshly brewed coffee.

What do I see? I see a soft light in the corner, a bunch of people staring at me while answering these questions...

What do I hear? I hear the sound of people's legs shaking, their feet tapping on the floor...I hear people breathing, I hear people walking past our closed door, probably getting more coffee.

What do I taste? Coffee.

Then he asks, how those things make me feel. Mentally and physically. I wasn't sure how to respond to that. And that is my point. That is when I asked, "okay so, then what is mindfulness?"

I answered all his questions, but I forgot a sense. Touch. What do I feel about the smell of coffee? I couldn't think of it on the spot of course, but now that I am remembering, it made me feel...awake, focused, and comfortable. I love coffee. It is a familiar scent to me, and familiarity is comfortable to me.

How did I feel about what I saw? How did the soft lighting make me feel? That also made me feel...calmer. Less aggravated. Bright lights hurt my eyes, so a small, soft light in the corner of the room was really nice. Also, too bright, and it makes everyone feel like they are in a spotlight, you know? Like, we are in a room that is supposed to make us feel comfortable and safe, not like we are being interrogated.

When practicing mindfulness, it is all about the here and now. It is about what you see in your mind, while you are experiencing this moment.

Let's talk about coffee, my favorite subject. Which, now that I think about it, I will probably write a blog about coffee and all things coffee one day. Maybe another one about tea...anyway.

Coffee. I tasted it and I smelled it, I even held the coffee cup in my hand. When I think of coffee, I picture a good morning. A coffee right next to me on my side table, all made and hot, or cold depending on my mood, perfectly made for me. Of course, that is never the case, but when I think of coffee, that is where my mind goes too.

I wake up, smell the fresh scent of coffee, and I just know that I'll be able to wake up and have the energy I need to start my day. So, when my therapist asked me to be mindful, and use my senses, and all I did was tell him that I smell coffee, but couldn't tell him how it made me feel...I had failed at being mindful. MIND-ful. MIND. I didn't use my mind!!! It all started to make sense.

Coffee - good mornings, energy, flavor, happiness, the start to a good day.

Soft, warm lighting - calmness, comfort, stress relief, knowing I can keep my eyes open and not strain them with bright, florescent lighting.

Legs shaking in the room - stress, anxiety, people here are freaking out a bit more than I am today, because I am not shaking (yet).

Just talking about the senses isn't mindful enough. Picturing the things you see, feel, smell, taste...in your mind, and picturing other times where those things arose, and how you felt about them. That time your friend and you went out to the coffee shop and got that cup of coffee you were craving all day, and it was made absolutely perfect, and they had a 50% off deal if you BOGO. Memories. Good, happy, wholesome memories are supposed to come with mindfulness.

Have a hard time paying attention? Yeah, me too. Naming things in a room can help...for the "what do you see" part of mindfulness. Boxes, TV, Laptop screen, phone, fan, chairs, mini fountain...Just keep listing things off until you get lost in a good memory that has to do with one of those items. The fan sticks out for me, I use it for sound to help me sleep. Light wind blowing on my face keeps my face from getting too hot on my pillow. Now, move to another sense. Aaaand repeat.

This stuff can be hard to do in public, that is always my issue. I need some way to calm down, fast, in public, without looking ridiculous. Sure, using my 5 senses can help and I can do it all in my mind, but it can take some time.

If you need to calm down in a hurry, you can try body scan meditation. Basically, just start from your head to your toes, or your toes to your head. Feel your toes in your shoes, or barefoot on the floor or ground.

Visualize every body part, and how it feels.

The texture of your clothing on your skin, is it itchy, soft, silky? Is it too tight, too loose? Can you feel the wind through your clothes? Breathe. Do not ever, forget to breathe. Breathe in, think about the body part your focusing on, breathe out. Move onto the next body part. This literally takes, maybe 1 minute if you stay focused. If you get distracted, who cares, move on, think about that body part.

Breathe in. Are you sitting? What's the chair feel like on your bottom? Hard, soft, uncomfortable? Breathe out.

Mindfulness. Body scan meditation. There are so many different ways to calm down in public, alone, quickly. I just really needed to think about the word "mindful" to really get what it meant. Be present. Be aware. Try not to get overwhelmed.

You. Got. This.

Your MIND is so much more powerful than you are giving yourself credit for.