M. Theo-Philo

Anton Chekhov: Only during hard times do people come to understand how difficult it is to be master of their feelings and thoughts.

Oscar Wilde: Experience is the hardest kind of teacher. It gives you the test first and the lesson afterward.

Mental illness is the exact same as physical, you have a stress-based accumulation or buildup which needs to be starved. In many cases, where one is deeply imprinted by the trauma sustained which has caused the sickness and lacking insight to any extent, they will need to practice a sort of abstinence from the conscious mind, as if starving it. This might be difficult, as they may fear to do this because of the survival mode that has been running them for ages, which they think is them, but simply put is their samskaratism which is excessive buildup of emotion, energy and thought-form causing neurosis.

The conscientious ego is beautiful and righteous ego deadly. No ego can function on its own. And without soul, we would essentially be android robots fulfilling no purpose and handling randomly assigned tasks on some sort of simulated field study. You are not artificial, though the procedures following civilization and the clogging of poor bodily memory occasionally might make it seem so. Definitively you are not experiential contents. The body is itself – and ego an autopilot watchdog.

You have to believe in lifeforce flowing through you for the process of true healing and transformation to begin. This will be difficult and next to impossible as long as you believe yourself to be a from and not a through. When the house of cards crumples, everything will crumble, your pillars of conceptual-based existence collapsing as the empire of ego comes crashing down. Of course, there is a reason for what happened, of what you did or was done to you, it is whether you are willing or not to accept it as good enough to accept yourself and/or them. As well there must of course be lifeforce, for soul or ego. Also, if you cannot see these reasons, and are desperate too, you must learn to relax. To merely surrender. You must learn to rest into subconscious, integrate the minds. There peace and harmony may be instilled.

Believe in the beauty of yourself. This is how you will come to see truth through the pain. Please know dear one, in that space with all the wonderful patience you embody; it is just one thought, it is just one feeling, it is just one act – just one. So it will always be. Just one. No more. No less. Be true to yourself. You are beautiful. Say I love you. Always tell the truth. Be thankful. Think of others before yourself.

Employ the pain is pleasure principle. This mindset is exactly as it sounds. To the affect that you believe pain is the same as pleasure, nothing can really hurt you. Fear of pain creates all suffering. To vibe with it neutralizes anxiety. Practice this ideal. Believe, feel that belief is something you shift volitionally, true. There is great power in I don’t give a fuck. Release all of attachment. Cut every chord, drainage of gunk.

You are stuck at baggage claim, because everyone else is stuck at baggage claim, and so by default you’ve been conditioned unto this approach which is not a lifestyle strategy but an austere fallacy. Accept and surrender and adapt and move on and let go and release and relax and offer farewell.

Trauma is complex and so is how you respond. They are situations you should not be dealing with. You are and have always been am, don’t let any fuzzily disremembered circumstance seemingly nullify that. You are a vibrational matrix, not a personal assemblage. Any semblance of the latter is illusory. The very impression of a persona may play itself out in the background (or foreground) perpetually – please do remember that the closer you look the larger an object appears – though you are never ever this. The forefront of your consciousness has been duped; its gatekeeper/gardener tricked from unveiling the secret garden hidden deeper within (truth). You are a (complex) matrix of quantum energy incarnate. All the energy you expend defending, shielding, and protecting your (sense of) self⸮ wastes any possibility of the potential utilization thereof for realization, truth and coming into the light of infinite higher being.