I Will Sleep When I'm Dead

I don’t know about you, but I am exhausted.

In a way, I wish for the return of what it was like when we were on lock down during the pandemic. Everything slowed down and it was actually considered okay to take some time to relax and spend some quality time with your family.

It was acceptable to spend a day reading or binge watching your favorite show. People spent time working on their passions, the things that make them happy. And a good nights rest was far more common than it had been in the years prior.

A year and some months after we were released from lockdown, society has changed. We have changed in a way that many now want to stay home with their families, having realized that they can survive on much less than they originally thought.

Some decided that they wanted to make a living working from home. Many work places decided to make working remotely a permanent thing for their employees. Some children returned to school, but some continue to have their lessons remote or full-on home schooled by their parents.

And then there are those of us who were essential workers and continued to work through the entire lockdown and what followed it. (I recently quit my job to go back to publishing books, like I did in the years before my work in advertising) If you were like me, you had to school your kids remotely in addition to work. Many had to work from home and also school their children, which can be even more difficult than going to a work place.

But even with the work, the pace slowed and society had a sense of calm.

Some of us secretly liked it and want the slowness of the pandemic lockdown to return.

Not the bad parts, of course. But the quality time with our families and the sense that it was actually okay for us to relax, that, is what we want.

Over time, our world has become a work, work, work, environment. We live in a society where if we aren’t doing something productive, then we are lazy.

This mindset has led to a large amount of people becoming overworked and under rested.

In my own life, I quit my job to come home and work on publishing my books again. But I also wanted to be with my kids and be here to take care of the house, and all that goes along with that. Over time, I have become someone who is always working. I can’t shut down.

This all comes from a place of needing to be further along in finances and life. You know, needing more and wanting more. I know many people out there have this feeling and social media doesn’t help with this, at all. Seeing all the people with beautiful houses and going on trips, that can really do a number on us subconsciously.

I have several things I do, including writing books, writing freelance, making social media content, and the business aspect of all of those things, plus keeping up on my own social media for business. I also have a house, property and family to care for.

At the end of the day, sometimes early, sometimes long into the night, my body shuts off. I literally fall asleep where I sit because my brain can’t stay awake any longer.

On top of that … I have undiagnosed sleep apnea. I still need to go to the doctor, but I know I have it. I have heard myself recorded and if you know anything at all about this problem, it is awful. You don’t really get a good nights sleep, even if you get a full eight hours. This is a major problem for me when it comes to rest.

All of these things combined, sleeping is something that has never been a priority for me. I need to get the work done. That is the priority.

I’ll sleep when I’m dead, as they say.

Now, this year, while I don’t typically make resolutions, I want to resolve to rest better. This includes a variety of things that will change for me in 2022.

1. I will read actual books, not screens when reading in bed before I sleep. Any sort of screens is not good for you when you are trying to fall asleep.

2. I have been doing meditative breathing exercises and taking a lot of baths.

3. I take walks outside and in general try to get outside more.

4. I will go to the doctor for my sleep apnea. This should not be ignored. There are a few things I have to take care of before I can do that though.

5. Lists are my friend. I’ve always been a list maker, but my goal this year is to create more reasonable lists for daily activities and accomplishments and a separate list for the larger yearly goals.

6. Limiting my caffine and drinking my water. (Insert a sad face here.) I love my coffee so much, but I am switching to herbal tea in the evening and water throughout the day and night. This is a rough one for me, but it does help.

7. Doing whatever I can to emulate the feeling of calm and acceptance of relaxation that I experienced during the lockdown.

The above are several of the things I am doing to promote better rest, and prioritize sleeping for myself this year.

Rest, relaxation and sleep are important to our overall health and longevity of life. I want to live long and experience many adventures with the second half of my life. If slowing down and relaxing is what it takes, then that is what I will do.