Holy Crap I'm 40: Denial Edition

by Banji Ganchrow 3 years ago in aging

You are only as old as someone thinks you are.

Holy Crap I'm 40: Denial Edition

It is so important to be young at heart, especially when you are over 40. The glass half full mentality needs to get you through the fact that when you get out of bed in the morning, almost every part of your body hurts. And not in a good way, or because you were out partying the night before. You think you are young, but you look like you aren't. And that is ok.

All these years we check off age boxes. 18-24, 25-32, etc.. etc. We have to be old enough to drive, old enough to vote, old enough to be eligible for social security. I remember years ago (and keep in mind, I can't remember what happened three hours ago) I was on a date with a 25 year old and I was still 17. I was about to turn 18 and I was already in college, so it wasn't a creepy date, but when we were asked to fill out some survey, I though he was really old and he thought I was way too young, so that was pretty much the end of that relationship. Every time we would go out, we would run into his married friends with their strollers and I freaked out just a little bit (being 17 and all, not that there is anything wrong with being married with kids at 17, or just having kids at 17... whatever works for you.)

Who Wants a Fake ID?

But when you are younger, you always want to be older. When I was eight years old, my grandmother took me to a museum in New York and you had to be 10. I was so excited when they let me in! You get a fake ID to buy alcohol ( I never did that...scout's honor), you try to sneak in to a rated R movie (Ok, I did do that, but it really wasn't such a big deal). You want to look back on your younger self and say, "Dude, get a grip–before you know it, you are going to be old, enjoy your youth!!! Enjoy the heartache, the anguish... enjoy it all, because soon you will be a grown up and things will suck for real!!!"

You look in the mirror and you see your reflection. You notice some new wrinkles, you definitely notice the grey hairs... but you never think you look old... tired, definitely). And I have always found that when I see people that I grew up with, unless they are aging really, really badly–they look the same to me and I would hope I look the same to them. I would also hope that they would lie to me and tell me that I look the same. After all, what are old friends for.

Excuse Me, I Look HOW OLD????

But then this happened... I was sitting in the airport minding my own business. I was about to fly home after a 72 hour visit with my son. I had just had my hair colored a few days earlier, so none of the gray was showing. I wasn't wearing makeup, but that is because I never do... perhaps after this incident I should reconsider this behavior.

A woman came up to me with a survey about my visit to her country. I smiled and answered her questions. When she was done, she pointed to a box on the form and asked if it was the right one. And it said 40-46-OUCH! How did she know? I am still 18-24! Oh wait, I have kids that are 18-24. And I nodded my head... Holy crap, I really am 40... nah, maybe the lady just needed glasses.

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Banji Ganchrow

Self-proclaimed writer, masters in social work. Has driven 3 sons to 22 baseball stadiums. Hopes, because of this, they will never put her in a nursing home.

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